well, then.

i am in a car in shiteous weather, but i really needed to get out of
town. i am not happy. more later when i amn't worried about dying.

Hesperus is Phosphorus

And, actually, things are mostly ok.  I was really happy to find out that Butler 2: Electric Butleroo, one of my ferals at Eviljob, is already neutered.  Yes, my parking lot BFF finally let me get close enough to see a tiny little left-hand ear tipping, and all of a sudden, I understood why my parking lot BFF (he follows me EVERYWHERE) would not let me get close -- I already trapped him and cut his balls off, and I merit watching. :->

I am swamped, as usual.  I had more job upheavals, and am now back to just two jobs, though that's about to end; I have to conduct some independent work, and...I'll kvetch about that later.  Promise.

I had a largely good end of 2009, and I am going to have to type on the fly and get caught up...even though there were a ton of largely good things, me being me had to have drama and pettiness in there, too.  But things are getting better, not the least of which is that, after Mummers was hospitalised for right at about a month with high blood sugar, low potassium, profound mental confusion, testing positive for CHF, and DKA, she is at least a little better about dosing herself with insulin now, which -- yes -- she is back on.  But that's good.  And the fact that my next round of trapping is not going to be as hard as I'd thought (I had already ID'd some of Butler 2's friends as ear-tipped, but they have a little more ear missing; Butleroo has *literally* only the tip missing) is a joy.  Add to that the fact that I am swimming in topics that I need to address, and...well...life is ok.  Yay.

I tweet a lot, and I'll get back to posting, yes.  Promise.

Worst. Blogger. Ever.

I know...I suck. Please check my tweets.

In brief, Harry finally got his Keppra in, so maybe now I won't be on
24-hr watch. Christ. I think all these drugs are pickling his mind, he
is dumber now than he was, say, five years ago. Sad, but what can I
do?

Meg is off to a conference in Las Vegas, and has left me her sick cat
who has now had two surgeries, the second of which was because he
developed an abscess from hell. This cat has now cost Meg about
$1,500, and she's going to hate me if he dies on my watch. :-(

Speaking of cats, I am down to about fifteen ferals at Eviljob; I was
frustrated in getting volunteer help about a month ago, but I guess
that is due at least in part to the economy. Everyone gave job- or
money-related excuses. I can only try again. Sigh.

I am really worried about my surgery next week, and my father is not
helping; he is against tonsillectomies, and so he is campaigning for
me to suck it up and not have the surgery, but I hate the constant
pain, irritation, and infections.

My mother is still completely batshit. I do not think she noticed that
I am having surgery, much less that I am constantly sick and/or
draggy-feeling. I actually do not think she notices much of anything,
really. I love her, but she really has to be one of the most
neglectful, self-absorbed, and delusional mommies of all time; it is a
miracle I made it out of childhood.

2009's attempt to make October the shittiest month of the year fell
short. This is a good thing.

I have to go into a meeting now, I promise I will write more later.
Srsly. Swear.

...and on to today.

Picked up Meg's cat, and he has to be dosed with Meloxicam every six
hours...not sure how I am going to pull that one off. Other than that,
I spent the whole day trying to get a theory paper prettied up, and
reached the point where I was losing myself in my own thoughts. Grr.
And I was on the phone with Karen, who is having a nervous breakdown.
And Meg's cat plopped himself in a cat bed with his back leg hanging
out, and fusses at me when I try to help him in. Sigh. I would put
forth that I am more deserving of a vacation than ever, only I haven't
the time or money to go anywhere; I'm thinking chemical coma...what
say you?

Speaking of meds, Harry should be getting more Keppra soon-ish, and
said that my suggestion of Ativan, B12, and Benadryl made his head
stop feeling screwy. Idiot. Why am *I* his caseworker? Unfairness.

I can finish getting caught up tomorrow if I can get some peace, then
douse some Eviljob fires, and then tackle some busywork that is
necessary busywork. My fingers are crossed on this. Ugh. I probably
shouldn't have gone to that party and worked instead, but...well,
pfft. I always feel guilty...always.

Halloweening

...fell asleep writing this last night, but here:

I am going to bed after a Halloween party where I drank far more than
I usually do, but I was craving vodka and cranberry (and have been
ever since I had this PHENOMINAL GG Cosmo slushie...yes, slushie...the
weekend after my birthday), and there was a backyard tiki bar,
soooo... I made a bunch of...what are those called? Isn't it
something like 'salty dog'? Or close. Beach breezer? I don't know, and
am too lazy to look it up.

Butsoanyway. I am on Tamiflu, and I am pretty certain that the drug's
effects are not diminished with alcohol, so eh; I was not driving. I
am on Tamiflu cos a fucktard with whom I have the (dis)pleasure of
working had her two kids come down with Swine Flu, and was not feeling
so hot herself but was taking Tamiflu, so in the spirit of 'I got
mine, how you doing?', she came to work anyway and snorked all over
us, then sat down and actually posted her status on Facebook as 'Betty
Lou Myopia feels terrible that she had to come to work when she feels
sick and should be at home taking care of her children who have H1N1.'
Of course she left shortly after (because of several complaints and a
reminder of company policy), and -- of course -- she did not have to
come in; nothing but the need for drama and martyrdom dragged her
swine flu-infested ass in there. Then I had an appointment with my
ENT, and warned his office that I might have been snorked upon by a
selfish swine herpes carrier, but they said to come in anyway, and I
ended up with Tamiflu ('cos of Mommy's aged ass and infirmities) and
an appointment for a tonsillectomy. Yay. It will suck, but I will be
glad to not have sore throats all the time and a strep infection every
other month. I have been miserable for the past few weeks because of
just plain old tonsillitis...owwy. It feels as if I'd scrubbed my
throat with steel wool.

Needless to say, I fell asleep typing some of the above and just now
completed it. In Other News, I am helping Karen (formerly 'Pants here)
with her thesis 'cos her advisor does not do much, Harry is still an
unemployed idiot who took himself off Keppra cold turkey because he
decided it was too expensive (this is a VERY bad idea; one could end
up in status that way), Meg is going to all manner of cool stuff
without me, and has left me in charge of her bully cat, who just got
out of surgery about four hours ago to remove a wire in his leg that
was cutting into his leg muscle (the wire was there after being hit by
a car and having a shattered back end years ago), and I am having a
little difficulty moving forward in my course of study, but I shall
overcome. :->.

Well, maybe.

saved by shopping

i am killing myself; i could not sleep last night, and here I am, up
again to all hours of the night. today at work sucked, in short it was
one of those 'why do i even exist?' days where you feel like no one
appreciates anything you do. i left early after one email exchange
with an opposite coast ended with the suggestion that i *might* get
credit for something i spent about forty hours on all by my lonesome.
they can do this because i am not technically 'in' any department. and
this is despite the fact that i have had, generally, a good rapport
with many in that group.

so i left, and was listening to my mp3 player oh-so-illegally driving
home to hide under the covers, hug squoosh, and sleep when meg phoned
to ask me where i was. we talked, and she reminded me that our
convention centre was having the annual Wimminfolk Fukkin Rock
Showcase, which i love. so we went there, and i bought a new toe ring,
some makeup, and got tons of samples. i also ate a square of pizza i
now wish i hadn't, they could put ex-lax out of business. smarty-pants
meg knew not to eat the colon cleanse pizza. ...where is the line
between being adventurous and prudent?

butsoanyway.

i *must* get some sleep. i'll write more later as soon as i wake up or
something.

hold me.

i cannot sleep. i need everything to calm down so that i can catch my
breath. plus, i am near to obsessional over my need to visit Doom,
Despair, and Agony upon...oh, let's name her atilla. i swear to god, i
have not been so close to plotting someone's death in *ages*; if this
were some film noir thriller, i'd be the villain, plotting how to keep
a cigarette burning in an ashtray at work next to a sweaty soda can
whilst i've really hopped abord the concorde under a false name and am
strangling someone in paris.

only strangling is too nice; it ends too quickly. i need some kind of
life-long, duel-to-the-pain type thing.

i am doing ok; a few people around me have caught swine cooties, but
so far i have not. at first, i'd heard the vaccine was not
fda-approved, but it appears that it is. i am still up in the air
about getting it, and i am usually pro-vaccine.

mommy is still crazy, she could not have her renal artery stented
because the artery was wholly occluded, and she got into a fight with
her cardiologist who is so damned much like my brother that he stood
there and fussed back at the crazy woman on versed cos my mother
REALLY IS THAT ANNOYING and he knew she'd remember little to none of
it. i swear to god, no one else starts screaming 'THIS IS
UNACCEPTABLE!' etc..., in the middle of the cath lab. naturally, she
remembers none of this, but she has been texting my brother constantly
(despite the fact that the poor guy is killing himself at Institution
X right now) and has taken up some type of email correspondance with
someone at (i think) the mayo clinic. she is *that* hell-bent upon
having her kidney stented, though as i pointed out, not concerned
enough to monitor her diabetes and stop eating total crap. i am her
least-favourite daughter.

butsoanyway.

i still have not gotten to do anything holiday-funnish this year, but
i will, even if it is going to that chicken-ridden hardware store that
i love. :->

ok...going to try to get to sleep now; my father is in town for the
weekend, and i have promised to have lunch with him tomorrow/today.
yay.