Whine

I just finished working for the night (I didn't even get my hour of reading in because Karen phoned needing help with her study, and she's always been there for me, so...).

I am tired, and scared of an upcoming deadline. I have worked so hard...I'm just nervous. And crampy. Those 'danger is near', Buffy the Vampire Slayer cramps. :-<

And I have to go to work in an hour. So much for sleep. At least I sent two emails off asking for help. Augh.


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Hiding and Healing

I have been busy. And crying a lot. And stressed out. And nobody cares. Well, it feels like nobody cares. I am taking an hour here and there as a break when I need to stop sobbing uncontrollably and just read something mindless. I have just started My Heart May Be Broken, But My Hair Still Looks Great, or whatever the name is, cos I bought it as an ebook for way dirt cheap, and these days all my budget can afford is Way Dirt Cheap.

Butsoanyway.

I just got to the part where Paige tries to give what's his name her last $100 because she thinks she may have stomped his foot out of wages for a few days, and I had a revelation. Paige and I are a lot alike, except that I'm not pretty and have finished college, but...I just had a smidgen of insight as to why some people hate me. Or act like they do.

Just a thought. For me, at least. And not that I know how to tell them I have good intentions. But...it's something to think about, at least.




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:-O

Today I pulled off my Jedi Mind Trick Schtick.

By email.

It's too early to say for certain, but I may be a god. ;->


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Goodnight

I know that I promise more and then never deliver. I had to bump my Get Out Of Jail date to May.

I am concerned about a wide variety of things, from if my finances will hold out to the shiteous state of the entire fucking world. I am trying to focus on only what is local and immediate to me.

One of those things is Sweetie backing her ass up into my face. Just a sec...

Ok.

I do not have many, or any, friends left who like to play games with poetry and song lyrics, and in the past year, I have come to greatly miss that. When I was a teenager, a handful of us would pick a song or poem and investigate it until we had pummelled the life out of it. From there, we would reconstruct it in some cases, with modern or more common meanings. It actually was fun, and if I could ever think of a way to make a board game out of it, I'd probably make a mint.

Well, I heard a story on NPR which reminded me of some old lyrics, and because I am lonely, I emailed Meg to try to entice her...no luck. Oh, well.

Tomorrow I will be drowning in stats work and meeting my father for lunch.

Love you. Mean it.


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I have to get back to work... I'm late on finding this, but I've been following he story for years:

http://greenriverkillings.com/Blog/2011/01/06/disappearance-leah-roberts/

I have to figure out what I am teaching tomorrow. They have put me off my game with changing the days/times of classes. And I'm already experiencing panic about getting everything done.

There's discord at Eviljob because of something that happened a few years ago. Someone was injured/killed, and now the aggrieved party is suing. This alone wouldn't be so unusual, but coupled with the fact that ol' Zaphod thrust himself into the situation (why? Because it involved a cute lady), I'm in for another round of hearing all about how lacking I am. Even though Z and I are just friends at this point.

I had to change cell phones (company, number), and I'll get into why later. For now, let it suffice to say I will be happy to be leaving when I graduate. On top of that, the crazy lady Zaphod started trying to hook up with ended up with after we parted decided to try to fake a friendship with me and be all crazy-assed. I was worried about her harming my feral colony after she was fired/quit, but at least now, with the lawsuit, I have less to worry about with respect to damage from non-employees on company property.

Ok... More later. I'm getting better about blogging. Promise.

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Give me your shoulder, I need a place to wait for morning

I managed to get this mobile blogging thing going. I sometimes hate technology.

Everything is ok. I have a lot of work to do. Somehow this will all be ok, though. I will pull through.

We cleaned out one of Mom's storage spaces, and it was terrible, getting rid of so much. I feel like a louse for getting rid of her favourite set of golf clubs that she never used. They were from the early fifties, and she was find of them, but I have nowhere to put them.

God, I have nowhere to put most of this stuff.



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Properties of Time

I am ok. Work...so much work...Is piling up. I have a lot not completed, not the least of which is moving. :-< I did get Harry with a decent neurologist, but not before he ran up another huge bill in my name.

It is so hard to believe that just a few short years ago, simple happinesses were so much more easily attainable. I miss the winter cooking and fun I used to have, and I don't know what I want to give Meg this year.

The cats at Eviljob are all well. I really want to take Butler II with me when I leave. He is, for a feral cat, very sweet and happy.

This Guy wants to get back with me. I guess my incantation wore off. The first night I considered it, I had the most horrible nightmare of him cheating on me with one of my friends. It left me feeling horrible. I think that means no. Plus, I don't like the way he celebrates the holidays, and they are very important to me.





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