I am ok. Today is an emotional day, where the dam just breaks. I will be ok. Again I promise to start writing more. <3
And I am having caffeine withdrawal headaches. Maybe that's it. I over-caffeinated myself to the point of having tremors, and today is my first caffeine-free day.
I will be fine.
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
I feel lucky...oh-so lucky...
Today I found, by a total freak accident, the majority of my mother's valuable jewellery hoard. This includes one piece that I have been heartbroken over (potentially) losing because of its monetary and sentimental value.
My god, but my mother hid things well. Had I not happened to look for No Reason Whatsoever today, this all would have likely been thrown out.
The expensive commissioned piece I am giving to Meg. Mom would have wanted her to have it. The rest are some pieces I would like for sentimental reasons, but I won't die if Meg or my brother wants them.
In Other News, I am free. Yes, that's right; after all these years, I am finally graduated and DONE. So...I am coming back here more often.
A few years ago, I had been in a meeting, and I was trying to post a blog via email, so that it would look like I was working. Stupidity being what it is, I accidentally emailed someone in our group -- also a member of the faculty -- from the wrong email address. I don't think this person would look that email address up, but in case they did, I was concerned for my anonymity. At the very least, I couldn't speak freely here any longer.
Well, until a couple weeks ago.
At the moment, I'm going to nap. I have been crying in happiness since I found Mummers' cache of 'real' jewellery (her less-valuable and costume pieces were kept in a jewellery box like normal; things she was afraid might be stolen and were irreplaceable, she hid), and my eyes are tired, but my heart is light. I am ok. Everything is going to be ok now.
More later, but this time I mean it. <3
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
My god, but my mother hid things well. Had I not happened to look for No Reason Whatsoever today, this all would have likely been thrown out.
The expensive commissioned piece I am giving to Meg. Mom would have wanted her to have it. The rest are some pieces I would like for sentimental reasons, but I won't die if Meg or my brother wants them.
In Other News, I am free. Yes, that's right; after all these years, I am finally graduated and DONE. So...I am coming back here more often.
A few years ago, I had been in a meeting, and I was trying to post a blog via email, so that it would look like I was working. Stupidity being what it is, I accidentally emailed someone in our group -- also a member of the faculty -- from the wrong email address. I don't think this person would look that email address up, but in case they did, I was concerned for my anonymity. At the very least, I couldn't speak freely here any longer.
Well, until a couple weeks ago.
At the moment, I'm going to nap. I have been crying in happiness since I found Mummers' cache of 'real' jewellery (her less-valuable and costume pieces were kept in a jewellery box like normal; things she was afraid might be stolen and were irreplaceable, she hid), and my eyes are tired, but my heart is light. I am ok. Everything is going to be ok now.
More later, but this time I mean it. <3
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
Monday, July 30, 2012
...then take this vest of plaster, these boots of concrete, and mark them down as surplus, return to Mulberry...
I am ok; I am almost free.
Just a few more days.
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Trying...
I am working, trying to complete something huge, and am feeling down.
It doesn't help at all that the self-absorbed arse I tried to date somehow decided that we are still dating (wth?) and is trying to take credit for "supporting me" throughout this process. I don't even have the energy to point out that he still owes me $350, and that is with giving him credit for a $30 gift card that he gave me as a gift and applying it to what he owes me.
This is implying that I haven't written off the entire amount; I have.
But I am down and tired. All the cats are ok, everyone is ok. Once I get this finished, I promise I will talk more.
- Posted using SomeBlogApp that I don't know how to use. o_O
It doesn't help at all that the self-absorbed arse I tried to date somehow decided that we are still dating (wth?) and is trying to take credit for "supporting me" throughout this process. I don't even have the energy to point out that he still owes me $350, and that is with giving him credit for a $30 gift card that he gave me as a gift and applying it to what he owes me.
This is implying that I haven't written off the entire amount; I have.
But I am down and tired. All the cats are ok, everyone is ok. Once I get this finished, I promise I will talk more.
- Posted using SomeBlogApp that I don't know how to use. o_O
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Talking to Squooshable.
Squooshable told me he renamed this day 'Miss Old Lady Day'.
I tell him this not nice name.
He say it very nice name.
There no is reasoning with him.
:-/
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
I tell him this not nice name.
He say it very nice name.
There no is reasoning with him.
:-/
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
Updates
I am mostly ok. Still fighting the good fight, publication-wise. Hopefully I will have resolution by the end of May. Please keep your fingers crossed, because I am at my wits' end. I have had to go on Buspar to manage my panic attacks. :-/
My brother becomes a Master Mason this septembre, and I am so fucking pissed off (remember, he converted to RC for his wife) that I may join, after graduation, Le Droit Humain. I am irritated because *I* was the jobie; he turned down DeMolay (despite the fact that my father and grandfather were central and honoured in founding more than one chapter), plus my father and so on back presented themselves as primarily masons because it seemed better to them than being Jewish (publicly). Remember, my parents had us way-late; there was prejudice decades ago. But anyway, I am irritated because my BRAT (брат, ha) brother cannot just up and go be RC when he's an atheist, and then turn around and not only join a Blue Lodge and go through two degrees without telling Meg or me, but then to have the utter gall to have discussed this all with my father, even arranging for my father (a 32.5-degree when he took time off from BL, SR, YR, and Grotto...33rd degree is honorary only and doesn't really exist, though my grandfather and other uncles and so on was/were one) to come up to witness/participate/whatever they do. I'm fucking livid. He is doing this just to have a bond-y thing with the rest of my family (Mummers' side had Masons as well, and she herself was a decades-inactive OES, former RG). So...it's hard to explain, but...he is trying to be all "traditional" (my family's style) now, and I will be damned if I am going to sit back and let him one-up me in a returning-to-family tradition sense, especially as some kind of fucked up birthday present. So: graduate; job; join LDH. I can accomplish all of this by years' end. LDH progression is slower than regular Masonry, but that's the only choice I have. Plus I like their style. Plus-plus, that will really piss my brother the fuck off, so it's just win-win-win all around.
And I'm going to make Meg join with me.
Anyway, I have to put in a few hours at work tomorrow to clear time on Wednesday for meetings, and then it's more writing. That is all I have been doing, and I am at the cabin-fever mad stage. I love what I do. I truly love what I do. But I need a break from it. And certain crazy people. I have my fingers crossed that this all works smoothly. To afford time to write, I have had to cut back working hours since the beginning of the year, and financially my life sucks so badly, you don't even want to know.
Ok...now to get a tich more sleep.
- Posted using SomeBlogApp that I don't know how to use. o_O
My brother becomes a Master Mason this septembre, and I am so fucking pissed off (remember, he converted to RC for his wife) that I may join, after graduation, Le Droit Humain. I am irritated because *I* was the jobie; he turned down DeMolay (despite the fact that my father and grandfather were central and honoured in founding more than one chapter), plus my father and so on back presented themselves as primarily masons because it seemed better to them than being Jewish (publicly). Remember, my parents had us way-late; there was prejudice decades ago. But anyway, I am irritated because my BRAT (брат, ha) brother cannot just up and go be RC when he's an atheist, and then turn around and not only join a Blue Lodge and go through two degrees without telling Meg or me, but then to have the utter gall to have discussed this all with my father, even arranging for my father (a 32.5-degree when he took time off from BL, SR, YR, and Grotto...33rd degree is honorary only and doesn't really exist, though my grandfather and other uncles and so on was/were one) to come up to witness/participate/whatever they do. I'm fucking livid. He is doing this just to have a bond-y thing with the rest of my family (Mummers' side had Masons as well, and she herself was a decades-inactive OES, former RG). So...it's hard to explain, but...he is trying to be all "traditional" (my family's style) now, and I will be damned if I am going to sit back and let him one-up me in a returning-to-family tradition sense, especially as some kind of fucked up birthday present. So: graduate; job; join LDH. I can accomplish all of this by years' end. LDH progression is slower than regular Masonry, but that's the only choice I have. Plus I like their style. Plus-plus, that will really piss my brother the fuck off, so it's just win-win-win all around.
And I'm going to make Meg join with me.
Anyway, I have to put in a few hours at work tomorrow to clear time on Wednesday for meetings, and then it's more writing. That is all I have been doing, and I am at the cabin-fever mad stage. I love what I do. I truly love what I do. But I need a break from it. And certain crazy people. I have my fingers crossed that this all works smoothly. To afford time to write, I have had to cut back working hours since the beginning of the year, and financially my life sucks so badly, you don't even want to know.
Ok...now to get a tich more sleep.
- Posted using SomeBlogApp that I don't know how to use. o_O
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Stupid stuff
http://m.examiner.com/atheism-in-national/atheism-101-atheists-can-be-spiritual-too
I keep trying to convince myself that I am special or interesting, or have any redeeming value whatsoever. I manage for a minute or two, then someone comes along and completely smooshes any special feelings I might have had.
This sucks.
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
I keep trying to convince myself that I am special or interesting, or have any redeeming value whatsoever. I manage for a minute or two, then someone comes along and completely smooshes any special feelings I might have had.
This sucks.
- Posted using Speak-n-Blog from my Fisher-Price Chatter Pull Telephone
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