If you think you can frighten me, you don't Nomi!

Ok, I have no problem admitting it; I am hard to scare. I am not hard to *startle*. Not at all. In fact, I am amazingly *easy* to startle, and if you do it, odds are I will punch the fuck out of you before I have time to think about it. Sure, I will feel badly about it after (you will feel worse), but the fact is that even though I am the EASIEST startle on Earth, I am hard to scare.

I just find too many things funny; I can't fucking help it.

Take, for example, the Japanese horror remake that I saw advertised over this longety-long-long weekend, One Missed Call. If you have a web-enabled cell phone, direct it over to http://d1e.mobi/ (geddit? DIE-dot-mobi; how cute!) and get a free ring tone -- the Ring of Death. This is the ring tone one hears when Death phones you. When Death phones, you are too creeped out by the spooky ringer to even pick up the phone (thereby the One Missed Call). One friend (whom I saw far too many times over this Holiday weekend) said that the little ring song is 'creepy'. I beg to differ.

I am sure that the person who spent hours at their piano in sheer agony, trying to come up with just the 'right' collection of tones, will hate to hear this, but... Sorry. Have to. It is not creepy. In fact, it makes me smile. To me, it sounds far too reminiscent of the beginning of Klaus Nomi's (fantastic) rendition of Falling in Love Again. Judge for yourself:

The Ring of Death

And now, Klaus:




S'ok. I already know; I am annoying. Right, but annoying. Sorry. And sorry, Mr Composer-person. All I can say is that someone should next time maybe ask me.

Butsoanyway; giddy on up, Holyfire...

NYE was fun; I ended up getting really drunk, which is at least a change of scenery from the past few years. :-) Now I have to get back into Job-2-sub-1 mode and finish off this week. This fairly sucks, 'cos our whole building is all but deserted, with the exception of our little group. Argh.

It is back up in the air as to whether or not I will be changing work groups; Job 2-sub-2 has actually TAKEN THE HOLIDAYS OFF (freaks!), and J2-sub-1 has managed to not let me off, instead rolling one project into another. I am not sure if this bothers me or not. We shall see, I guess.

I am somewhat up in the air about quals, which is what I was *supposed* to be doing this year instead of spending a week to week and a half fucking off in Reno like I always do; about a week ago, it was suggested (by my advisor) that I take the opt-out (petitioning to have my current body of teaching, work, and publications considered in lieu of the tests themselves). This has me a bit confused, and I have not had time to mull it over a lot, much less to yap on endlessly about it here. Previously, I had been advised *not* to do this; otherwise, I could have petitioned some time ago. Grr. Basically, if I do this, then I will have spent the past year being hideously under-employed, as I was hired at a different 'level' (shall we say) than the one I could have been at...or at least been at provisionally, or whatever. I do not want to think about it too much, 'cos it makes my ass twitch. We will see what happens on this, too. Yay.

I have got to get some sleep, but...I am having a pretty good Holiday Season. I can't believe it is almost over. Meg is off at some tournament in Tunica; poor girl finally managed to get all her crap handled and leave.

Ok...so g'night.

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It is a common song down our way...

I'm including the lyrics to the Eddie & The Hot Rods song Teenage Depression here 'cos I've already had one email and one comment unfamiliar with the song:


Well I'm spending all my money and its going up my nose
My Daddy's found me out and he's tearing up my clothes
My probation man says you know you ought to quit
I said now don't you hang me up now with none of that shit

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out

Same thing every day, well I can't get out of bed
Too many questions there confusing up my head
I can't stand the thought of another day at school
But I know the weekend's coming so I gotta keep my cool

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out

It really makes me mad when they always ask me why
That I never comb my hair and I never wear a tie
School teacher bugging me it's the same old thing
Get out of my way I need another shot of gin

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out

Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession
Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession
Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession
Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out , Look out
I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out , Look out!

Last post of 2006!

...I think.

I am currently deciding whether I am going out or not. On one hand, I don't want to; on the other hand, I am pretty much committed to go. I may go and then come back; I don't know. This is a thingy with the person that I still have to really go into, and it will end up being a kind of work-thing, I guess. A bunch of work-friend types getting all dressed up for No Real Reason, basically.

Butsoanyway.

Hugs, Love, and happy New Year! Please be safe and careful out there!

Love,

me.

p.s.: I have been getting a bunch of hits (and a few emails) from the blog title, 'Don't Push Me, 'Cos I'm Close to the Edge'; it's an old song, and just turned up in Happy Feet. :-) The song is called The Message, and it is by Grandmaster Flash. Hope this helps, and saves someone email postage. :-)

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Don't push me, 'cos I'm close to the edge...

**UPDATE**Due to the high number of emails I am getting because of this title, I would like to mention that the song is The Message by Grandmaster Flash (and the Furious Five). It probably got stuck in my head because of Happy Feet. :-) Hope this helps.

I just got this in an email...awesomeness. Don't mess with girls, eh? Currently I am doing not very much; I also was sent this link: Suzette la Starlette, and I gave up on it cos my head is just not into thinking right now, and so I am just letting Genedefekt run in the background; it has been a while since I heard that song, and I had forgotten how much I liked it. It has been a really long time since I went out and got ploughed and went dancing, and this really reminds me of that.

Happy Chanukah, by the way; I missed a timely HC’ing ‘cos I suck.

I am going out tomorrow to trap (or try to, at least) for the tentative Monday speuter appointment I have. I ended up staying for the whole time today (or yesterday, rather) at Eviljob, which is good (in a way), because this past semester I have been cutting out of there early a *lot*, which will eventually bite me in the ass.

I really want this for Christmas: Munchkin Bites!, but I suck at hinting. I have a hard time coming up with things for people to give me (for some reason, everyone always just asks me what I want, then gets something else entirely), so I would just tell everyone, but I think anyone who was going to ask me already has. So I may just go buy it myself after Christmas. I will teach Squoosh how to play. :-D

I am feeling better—significantly better today, in fact—and so who knows or cares…it seems that I shall live. :-) I don’t know why I bother to ask my brother anything; he thinks that everyone is at fault for their own illnesses, a state of mind he inherited from my father. His opinion is that if I am not hospitalised, then I need to quit whining and hunting around for the problem (or its solution), and just go to work and do. That’s really the way I was raised, I’ve just become more humane towards myself and others in my old age. :-) I no longer see catching a cold as a sign of moral weakness and/or flawed character.

In Other Family News, Meg sends pictures; the Beau Rivage is all gussied up for Christmas:

Since my mother’s cat Arby was a ‘rescue’ cat (I found her as a tiny kitten on the side of a Quickee Lube place, and asked my mom to hold on to her for a couple days, ‘cos I was in the midst of moving. That’s how they became soul mates. For some reason, Mom and Arby bonded like nothing I have ever seen before—Mom isn’t that bonded to ME, for chrissake), I used to tease Mummers all the time about dropping Arby back off at a casino to be a ‘casino cat’ (every casino I have ever been to has at least a few, and it’s good luck to feed them…or so I tell people I run into gambling there), and this annoys my mother to no end, because I honestly think she feels as if I am being cruel to an actual sister, or something. Her relationship with Arby is that intense. And bear in mind that all this time, Arby sees both Meg and I as total interlopers—she hates us, and makes no secret of that. Any time either of us is over and talking to Mom, Arby will come over and start yapping at Mom also, trying to steal her attention away (which usually works). Arby’s right—Mama does love her more. And Meg and I have developed this elaborate anthropomorphised ‘personality’ for Arby which basically involves calling the two of us ‘Loser’ a lot. Mummers thinks it’s funny.

Butsoanyway.

We (Meg and I) stopped teasing Mom about dropping Arby off at a casino because it upset Mom so, and instead joke about a casino which we have named the Beau Arbage (‘that means The Beautiful Arby in French, Loser!’). My point in mentioning this is that I *was* going to say that the Beau Arbage was all decked out for the holidays, but realised no one would understand what I meant. So if I ever say it, now you know.

Butsoanyway.

I also have another problem (well, we all know I have *way* more than just one), and I have so far avoided really getting into it. And I need to think it through and figure something out, but…I am stalling. I don’t know why. Well, I *do* know why – it’s because I am mentally exhausted. Just tired of thinking, period. I really need a vacation—from EVERYTHING ON EARTH—and that is why I am spending time that I should be working at Eviljob shopping Guide Gear on Amazon for China Silk gloves, socks, underwears, and balaclavas (black, naturellement; I’m still a goth girl in my heart-of-hearts)…which was what I did today. I am prepping for two upcoming trips, one of which I will be skiing on, if I have to force my way to the slopes at gunpoint.

And if I do have to resort to gunpoint, I need to look outrageously ninja-sexy doing it, hence the balaclava. It has absolutely nothing to do with being hopelessly sick and perverted.

No, rilly. It’s all about accessorising.

I am going to have to get some sleep. I will try to get back early from cat-catching and finish an actual post that has an actual beginning, middle, and end. Sigh.

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And The Hits Keep Coming…

To defuse my abiding feelings of paranoia, I have been trying to be more diligent about checking my hits, and I have noticed some disturbing searches—disturbing as in I could maybe help, I mean, like with the ruined Clavamox searches. The Call to Public Service kind of disturbing. I’ve also noticed some funny ones, like the one some time back that I probably should have been offended by, probably—ones like the someone who searched for ‘she’s just plain vanilla’, or something like that.

Yeah, you just keep on believing that. :-D Screw you, Google.

Butsoanyway, in the spirit of serving the public in any way I can:

For some reason I keep seeing hits for lyrics to The Rave-Ups song Positively Lost Me. That’s my life all summed up, whether I like it or not, I guess—vanilla sex, spoilt Clavamox, and old alternative music. Right? Right! ;-) I looked to see why people are wandering here, and it’s because the lyrics aren’t on the web. Well, they kind-of are, but the ones I found were wrong, and don’t you just know that I don’t want you wandering around singing the wrong lyrics, sounding like a dingbat? Aren’t we lucky that Ancodia happens to know them, hmm? Someday I will have to tell all about one of my sorta-friends—Jacquie—who would get EVERY song’s lyrics terribly, horribly, confuzzledly wrong. Hideously wrong; it was painful.

Jacquie Challenge! Name the original song that spawned this Jacquieism: But to these wigwam eyes it wasn’t no surprise/we got the hole-eye world in our heads.

No, I am not kidding, or even exaggerating a little—that one made us turn around and drop her back off at home on the way to the mall once. Then we stopped to get sodas, and some of us felt bad and went back to pick her back up. Although, admittedly, we only think she said ‘wigwam’, and she refused to repeat it for us. But that Jacquieism remained in our lexicon of in-jokes (and any one who would Google that would (1) already know me from other things I’ve written anyway, and (2) be on my side) for quite some time. That, and I don’t think Jacquie would spell any of it correctly.

But I digress.

Anyway, my point is don’t be That Girl. Rilly. Now back to Positively Lost Me. Until the end of time, this song will remind me of Mitch, who, along with Jacquie, is probably a story for another day—only Mitch was cool and Jacquie was, well…not. Only he was cool, but didn’t try and didn’t think he was, and Jacquie, well…did and did.

Butsoanyway.

Here are the lyrics:

Positively Lost Me by The Rave-Ups

You lost a lot when you lost me

You lost a lot when you lost me
Six paperback books and a dying tree

You lost a lot when you lost me
Six paperback books and a dying tree
A looking-glass and a diamond ring

You lost a lot when you lost me
Six paperback books and a dying tree
A looking-glass and a diamond ring
You lost me and you lost some dreams

Oh, you lost your cool, you lost your keys
And then you lost a sense of honesty

Two blankets and a bookshelf piece

Two blankets and a bookshelf piece
A picture frame and a couple keys

Two blankets and a bookshelf piece
A picture frame and a couple keys
To a couple doors that I won't see

Two blankets and a bookshelf piece
A picture frame and a couple keys
To a couple doors that I won't see
You lost a lot when you lost me

You lost my face, you lost my laugh
And then you lost my confidence

And after work when there is no moon
And the boys come, come at the studio

Well, you win some smiles and you answer phones
And you count romances on eleven toes

Well, this little piggy went home

You lost a lot when you lost me!

You lost a lot when you lost me

You lost a lot when you lost me
Six paperback books and a dying tree

You lost a lot when you lost me
Six paperback books and a dying tree
A looking-glass and a diamond ring

You lost a lot when you lost me
Six paperback books and a dying tree
A looking-glass and a diamond ring
You lost a lot when you lost me

Oh, you lost my face, you lost my laugh
And then you lost my confidence

She loves me, she loves me not

Show this piggy the way home…

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So…I am over that which upset me, and I will maybe whine about it later. It’s nothing bad, just…stupid interpersonal crap, or whatever. I am fine, and …happy, really. So there. NYAH.

Back to hits:

Halvah AND Minnesota.

AND Minnesota. AND. That AND is IMPORTANT, chirrin. Sums up my life right there, too. :-) And I would trade vanilla sex and bad Clavamox for some halvah. AND Minnesota. Will work for halvah AND Minnesota—totally. You have no idea how hard! Well, some *good* halvah. I’m keeping the old alternative music, though. ;-)

How long does Clavamox stay good when refrigerated?

DON’T reuse bad Clavamox. Jesus, god, christ-on-a-cracker, how many times to I have to say it? If it is not white, throw it out. If it’s past the date of last dosage (the vet’s instructions on the label) throw it out. Please read my diatribe: Clavamox.

dog is limping on front leg and has swollen lymph node under jaw

TAKE IT TO THE VET!!! WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?????? May you someday lie helpless as someone decides what to do with your infirm ass by typing your symptoms into Google. I can see it now--"Mom screaming pain seizures drooling one pupil larger than the other". Bwaah! GO TO THE VET!!!!

sexist divas qvc and hsn

Okay, so they kind of are—I have to admit that. They portray women as being teensy-brained fluffernutters who are only interested in jewellery, home furnishings, and playing the cutesy dip to their male co-hosts. You are correct, they represent femininity at its *worst*. But yet I watch and buy. Go figure.

how much time will someone receive with 3 ounces of cocaine

Good lord. You *are* joking, right?

usage of hydrogen peroxide for pedicure

eew. Why would one want to do that? I would think that it would dry out the feet, and be all icky.

beautiful loser vettriano

Vettriano is not *ever*! He is a GOD! Take that back! And if you even mention the Illustrator’s Figure Reference Manual, I will kick your ASS—and not in the happy, fun way, either!

:-)

Butsoanyway.

Aren’t I glad I did that? Eh. Me either.







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