Merry Christmas, from your favourite atheist :-*

It's not a cheese bear, but in my opinion a penguin is far better anyway.

Happy Wikipedia-ed Holidays

Ok...this is funny, even though he introduces it as Wikipedia's entry on Pesach (put the mouse down...it isn't), I am sure that by now some well-meaning soul has copied it over to the entry to every Jewish holiday. ;-) Ok, ok...it's What I Like About Jew's song (Sean Altman of this Jewmongous was in WILAJ) They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived (Let's Eat).

Love it. :-D Now, I have to go honour my saviour, Jeezy Creezy.

omfg, I crack me up. Sean cracks me up. Hee.

Bwahahahaha!!!

Reporter clobbered by snow tube!

Happy Holidays!

The Coming Tuxedo Cat Uprising

moar funny pictures

Too funny -- I have not checked this email in a week, so I suck. I know. I am okay, and so is everyone else, though this semester is promising to be psychotic. :-D In the fun way, at least. I really should not be posting right now, but woth'hell. I am getting a lot more individualised attention than I have acclimated myself to in the past couple years.

So that's weird.

Now,the down-side of all this fun, fun, fun is that every day it is like I have a new project, and these past two weeks, I feel as if all I have done is hustle from one place to another. Right now I *should* be listening to my tag-team partner present, and I am going to have to do that soon, but basically for the past couple weeks I have been doing everything, and it feels like *nothing*. I have only been in to Eviljob after-hours, and I am not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Frankly, I am tired. Gah.

My partner is fielding a question about third-world countries right now that reminds me about a post I saw on SHFB about using one's period for good, and thankfully I am not the one answering 'cos I would prolly come off like a Nazi, plus this is about aid in general, specifically mosquito nets, and I cannot think of any parallels other than tampons. This, chirrin, is known as a recency effect, or at least it would be once I made the segue back on to something unlikely to make me sound like a Nazi...like the recency effect.

I should have picked up something to eat...bwaah. I woke up this morning craving coffee -- specifically Starschmucks' raspberry-with-soy, but did not take the time to stop 'cos I hate Starschmucks; they charge too much, and...and...and...ummm... they lack theology and geometry. Yeah. That's it.

:-D

So I am starving, and conceivably have no free time until like, this evening. Grr. This will teach me to volunteer for things. Although I am currently just grumbling self-absorbedly and doing nothing (which, if tapped, would be what Meg would tell you I do all day), my involvement occurs in a bit. That's why I am being unobtrusive right now -- so that I don't seem as if I am trying to steal the spotlight, make Partner look (as if I feel they are) incapable, or monopolise everything (which, if queried, would be what Meg would tell you I *actually* do at any opportunity). I cannot help it that I have an overwhelming personality; I was born like that. Partner knows if they need me, I am right here, and we already spent a lot of time dividing this up, so it's all good. So I am going to try to stop feeling as if everyone is wondering what my justification for breathing, much less sitting up here is. This was a *huge* hurdle for me to overcome when I first started training for Eviljob a million years ago; I am *still* teased about giving people ten seconds to complete something 'cos I felt as if I should be talking. :-) That, thankfully, was a long, long time ago. I still *feel* worthless and judged (and found sorely wanting), but I have learnt to shut up, take turns, and back off so that it doesn't show. :-)

Butsoanyway.

I didn't take the time to get coffee also cos I overslept a little -- I had a weird dream in which I was being prosecuted in a totally science-fictiony scenario, but I had this brilliant lawyer who ended up making me this huge legal precedent...it was cool.

gah...have to run

If you think you can frighten me, you don't Nomi!

Ok, I have no problem admitting it; I am hard to scare. I am not hard to *startle*. Not at all. In fact, I am amazingly *easy* to startle, and if you do it, odds are I will punch the fuck out of you before I have time to think about it. Sure, I will feel badly about it after (you will feel worse), but the fact is that even though I am the EASIEST startle on Earth, I am hard to scare.

I just find too many things funny; I can't fucking help it.

Take, for example, the Japanese horror remake that I saw advertised over this longety-long-long weekend, One Missed Call. If you have a web-enabled cell phone, direct it over to http://d1e.mobi/ (geddit? DIE-dot-mobi; how cute!) and get a free ring tone -- the Ring of Death. This is the ring tone one hears when Death phones you. When Death phones, you are too creeped out by the spooky ringer to even pick up the phone (thereby the One Missed Call). One friend (whom I saw far too many times over this Holiday weekend) said that the little ring song is 'creepy'. I beg to differ.

I am sure that the person who spent hours at their piano in sheer agony, trying to come up with just the 'right' collection of tones, will hate to hear this, but... Sorry. Have to. It is not creepy. In fact, it makes me smile. To me, it sounds far too reminiscent of the beginning of Klaus Nomi's (fantastic) rendition of Falling in Love Again. Judge for yourself:

The Ring of Death

And now, Klaus:




S'ok. I already know; I am annoying. Right, but annoying. Sorry. And sorry, Mr Composer-person. All I can say is that someone should next time maybe ask me.

Butsoanyway; giddy on up, Holyfire...

NYE was fun; I ended up getting really drunk, which is at least a change of scenery from the past few years. :-) Now I have to get back into Job-2-sub-1 mode and finish off this week. This fairly sucks, 'cos our whole building is all but deserted, with the exception of our little group. Argh.

It is back up in the air as to whether or not I will be changing work groups; Job 2-sub-2 has actually TAKEN THE HOLIDAYS OFF (freaks!), and J2-sub-1 has managed to not let me off, instead rolling one project into another. I am not sure if this bothers me or not. We shall see, I guess.

I am somewhat up in the air about quals, which is what I was *supposed* to be doing this year instead of spending a week to week and a half fucking off in Reno like I always do; about a week ago, it was suggested (by my advisor) that I take the opt-out (petitioning to have my current body of teaching, work, and publications considered in lieu of the tests themselves). This has me a bit confused, and I have not had time to mull it over a lot, much less to yap on endlessly about it here. Previously, I had been advised *not* to do this; otherwise, I could have petitioned some time ago. Grr. Basically, if I do this, then I will have spent the past year being hideously under-employed, as I was hired at a different 'level' (shall we say) than the one I could have been at...or at least been at provisionally, or whatever. I do not want to think about it too much, 'cos it makes my ass twitch. We will see what happens on this, too. Yay.

I have got to get some sleep, but...I am having a pretty good Holiday Season. I can't believe it is almost over. Meg is off at some tournament in Tunica; poor girl finally managed to get all her crap handled and leave.

Ok...so g'night.

.

birds, For the. 1 - 781 sic passim

Of all the things Mummers has ever done to me, I will never, *ever* forgive her this one.

Oh my heavens, no.

As of this morning, I have been recruited -- in the midst of my busy season -- to be, basically (making a long description and explanation short), her typist; my Mommy fired the person who was helping her because she did not like something they did and is trying to prove something to Whomever, and I've been temporarily conscripted. And, of course, I am being paid Not One Red Cent for this.

Screw bastards; everybody's a total fucker. Srsly.

Bonus points for title's reference. Triple bonus points for finding all the things I am doing to Mummers' shit. I'm expecting most will survive once it's done. I mean, freaking *prove* that Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper, and Snork (1970) did not say half the things I say they did in a defunct journal.

In a foreign language.

At the moment, I am leaning towards Esperanto.

I'm betting no one will look that closely. Heh. Plus, I hear that they were quite prolific authors, and held opinion -- both expert and peer-reviewed -- on many varied topics. As did Momary, Douglas; Jo, Emmy; Hepo, Henrietta; Fraug, Frederic; and Aul, Charles (1977) in their monumental work, Review of the Zoological Neo-Garden. Far, far more interesting than the drivel Mummers is yammering on about.

Damn, I crack me the hell up.

Okay, okay...I am not *that* bad. But seriously, I AM stressing now. I do not need this. I get this, however, 'cos I am the most 'available' of her children, and she needs 'just a little help'. And yeah, I know -- I am the only one who laughs at my jokes. :-)

Sigh. I may not get to sleep again until like, March. She thinks things will change by Friday and she will get her way, but I do not believe her. Let us hope.

Double bonus points for...well, you know.

I want a nickel a word, or something. Fuckers.

bwaah.

.

Gah; it actually *is* a jungle out there.

I have been going through shit frame-by-frame. This takes a VERY LONG TIME. And I cannot use our program from work (even though I got a neato cool response box for it about a week ago, so that rocks -- though we are not using it right now), 'cos I am NOT going to sit at work for three or four days straight. Nope. No. And the system we have at work needs a key to make it work, but the key does not leave, ever, because of the cost of the damned thing. I pushed for this system over two others, but the fact that I cannot take it home and that a few people I work with mispronounce it drives me batshit.

Well, they leave out the 'L', and say 'Notice', only they are saying it like they are having some serious adenoid issues -- more like 'no-diss'. Sometimes I think we should have gotten the other one, just so I do not have to pretend as if it did not drive me crazy. Blow your freaking nose and speak clearly. Fack.

Butsoanyway.


Take a look at my box!

[box to come; Blogger won't let me load pics]

I am like The Bad Doctor in that KiTH skit...I ask for things, and they give them to me; this is awesome. Sometimes I love Job 2. I am thinking of asking for Mikrosil next. I have wanted to play with Mikrosil for *years*, I just have to think of why on god's earth I would actually *need* it.

Hmmm.

But back to my point of this taking forever and a day; thank freaking god that I found where Windows Movie Maker will display *hundredths* of a second, or else I would be even LONGER without sleep than I am going to be as it is (and I am not going to get to actually sleep until Saturday night as things stand...BWAAH!!) to correctly categorise it...now for almost two days straight. I have like, lost the ability to see straight. This is extremely upsetting to me, 'cos I *want* to see straight; I am taking this...erm...opportunity (do you like how I have re-framed this to be positive? Cool, iddnit?) to catch up on all twenty-six million episodes of Monk that I have never gotten to see but still buy 'cos I have a crush on Ted Levine (Nooo, not *just*because of SotL; quit talking to Meg. Though if you are having the same 'nuh-uh!' moment some others have had when it comes up, you can refresh your memory here. Or catch Ted *and The Groundskeepers' song here {awesome}. The poster of this clip disturbs me in spite of my partial agreement {comment translation below; it is in Portugese}. It really is that he is *that* unbelievably awesome an actor. ...as well as sexy.) that simply defies description; the things I want to do to him are illegal in at least six states. After Monk, I am moving on to view all of Crime Story, maybe.

I know...I need therapy; I have all this crap to do, and here I am in heat. Being on the Pill always causes me to be constantly turned on; someone *please* explain that one to me, 'kay? I have been wondering about that one for near to the entirety of my fertile life so far. And it has nothing to do with so-called 'safety'; first off, you *aren't* 'safe', and second, it has nothing to do with whether I am in a relationship or out of one. On Pill = in heat constantly, off Pill = normal; sometimes on, sometimes off.

I think there is some hormonal crap that happens,and not just the not ovulating thing. Seriously. I almost wish it made me sick, like several other girls I know. Know how many people I know that stay constantly horny when they take the Pill? One. Me. And it is not listed under side effects; I looked. This is actually one of the reasons I quit it a while ago. Pfft. Sigh.

Butsoanyway. Back to this stuff.

And I am NOT EVEN STARTED on the verbal behaviours for the bulk of it; that will be all day tomorrow. I have been holding off on that 'cos the other stuff is the hard(er) part, and listening will interfere with my Leland Stottlemeyer-watching. I am now kicking myself for not having used something for audio that I could cart home with me in the past so that I could maybe be familiar with it and schtuff. As things stand, I will just hit Pause in WMM and log start/change/stop. Fuck the fancy-schmancy shit.

I even let Kate take a huge part and do it, and I was going to confirm, but I am sososososososooooooo tempted not to log-confirm that I am going to have to maybe nap and let some morality leak back into my brain. Sigh. I am inclined to do Very Bad Things right now, and not just to ol' Leland.

Damnation...talk about ageing well! What's this show about, anyway? ;-)

No, you are not the only ones who think I am weird.


.


Comment translation:

Brilhante atuação de Ted Levine em Silêncio dos Inocente.
Brilliant acting of Ted Levine in Silence of Lambs.

[Agreed; better than Foster and Hopkins combined, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise; his entire performance aside, that sniffl'y thing he does when Brooke first says 'I want my mommy'? Besides being Incredibly Cute, that's called ACTING. We're all ruined by this half-assed 'I'm going to play the same character over, and over, and over...and that character happens to be a lot like me!' shit that goes on anymore that actual acting gets ignored. He also has an fantastic way of conveying many simultaneous emotions towards Monk, but if I get into everything else he has done, we will be here all day]

Buffalo Bill realmente rouba a atenção, apagando completamente a ranhenta Jodie Foster (tem mesmo cara de ranhentinha).
Buffalo Bill really steals the attention, putting out completely the ranhenta Jodie Foster (it has even expensive of ranhentinha).

[Agreed again, and I don't even know what a ranhenta is; I can only assume a ranhentinha is an even worse one]

Pena que o herói do filme morre no final.
Too bad that the hero of the movie dies in the end.

[I am so totally not going to get into the hero/anti-hero/antagonist/protagonist pedantry with you, 'cos it may be a translation error. Ask your English teacher, or your Portugese Lit. teacher. Anyway, assuming you mean 'hero' as in an allied person(a) for whom you were rooting (try reading the book; pointless!), you are officially creeping me out. However, if you -- like me -- just hate seeing a perfectly good fictional hot guy get snuffed, then we are in agreement. Plus Ted should have gotten *much* more camera time.]

Formaria uma bela dupla com o Dr. Lecter he he he..
It would form a double beauty with Dr. Lecter he he he..

[Okay, *now* you are creeping me out; when I start having fantasies like that, I am switching to Ortho TriCyclen Lo or something. Sheesh. Hopkins is like, almost as old as my father, fer chrissake*. ;-) ]


*It may bear mentioning again that my parents had me when they were much older than 'traditional' parents (which seems to be younger these days than ever before, but I am 'supposed' to be about twenty [or more] years older than I am), a fact that leaves many confused when I say things like 'Hopkins is like, almost as old as my father, fer chrissake!' trying to be funny. I mean, he was really a cutie in Audrey Rose**, but the humour is in my selection of the age difference over the qualities of the characters (Buffalo Bill and Lecter***). See? Having old parents really handicaps my comedy style. ;-)

**I only know that 'cos Mom likes that movie (well, more correctly, she saw it with my father or friends in the theatre, and wanted to see it again when it came on television, probably cable), and I watched it with her when I was a kid (when it came on television; my father would *never* have let me watch something like that in the theatre, and probably not on tv if he had known about it). I have no idea how old I was, but I do remember that I thought Hopkins' character was creepy as hell then, like some sick stalker, and it terrified me that her parents would not intervene, and I remember being extremely frightened when Hopkins interacted with Audrey Rose, especially when she cooperated and calmed down for him; for some reason that was Quite Disturbing to me, and I completely misremembered it until I saw it on cable as an adult. At that point it just struck me as a largely silly sixties-tinged movie about reincarnation dumbness, but yes, Hopkins was cute. It is just kind of icky if I say that now, since he is almost as old as my father.

***Let's not play games; I would totally do Bill and Lecter together any day of the week. We all know it.

:-D

Sigh. Enough funny. Back to work.




.

Happy Birthday, Harry

Sigh. You annoy me sometimes, but overall you are a good person. Fundamentally, I mean.

I am in seminar with my HoD right now, and I just adore this guy, but he is inclined to give the same lecture over and over. Pretty much any time he speaks. :-) He is cute. One just acclimates to these things.

Butsoanyway.

Job 2 is suffering from the delusion that I am supposed to be there today, when I have a set schedule that leaves Fridays for class, two grant meetings, a lab meeting, tiny break, and then Eviljob. Last night I was simply infuriated, so much so that I could not sleep; one of our contracts has provided explicit details and their accoutrements. Basically, we are just Blindly Following Directions. Period. Well, I finished my part, and at our State of the Workgroup meeting yesterday was asked why I had not done This, That, and The Other. Well, okay; specifically, I was asked why I had not done one thing...which involved, essentially, breaking the seal on a group of data which were to be utilised later. At this time, we are supposed to be unaware of its contents. I brought up the point that I just mentioned, and was told that I could have prepared coding of the events, regardless.

Ummm...not without *looking* at it. And we have been asked -- no, paid in fact --to *not* look at this stage. At this point, we are attempting to replicate and explain the heuristically-based judgements of accepted 'experts' in a quantifiable manner. To do this, we proceed according to our constructs and so forth, and compare our results with theirs...afterwards. I have a problem with pretending I have not seen things just so I can save myself a handful of hours' work in a week of two. The reason, ultimately, for the upset was the ginormous and ' spensive coding suite we just bought; it comes with tutoring, and my superior was wanting to hit up the trainer for help. As in getting the tutor to do this as a part of his demonstration.

Why do I invariably end up surrounded by freaks?

I should put a sock in it before I say too much, but...I am annoyed. Or was, rather; I am fine now. Yesterday, Kate said that I am 'far too ethical and conscientious, blah, blah, blah...'; she meant it as a compliment, but it only served to further agitate me, as if her comparison meant that some less-conscientious Other would manage to be more successful in this situation. And I do know that is completely not how she meant it, but...that is the frame of mind I was in at the time, so I left upset. And figured that They can handle whatever happens today, 'cos we have crap that has to get out on Monday. But I blew off my HoD last week, and I won't do it again; Kate just IMed, and *nothing* is being done -- she just left to take something to her child's school. Sigh. Every day is a new emergency.

Butsoanyway.

On a better note, I got in a bunch of new toys at Job 2, and that was exciting. :-) I also got to talk with Karen, and god, that was a welcome conversation. She phoned to wish me a happy New Year (poor semi-sabra changed to a program where she is lacking in non-committed half-jew company), and to let me know that she had successfully transitioned to a different advisor after the one she left our program for up-and-moved...to farking New Zealand, or wherever. Poor Karen, but it is all okay now.

Oh! And!



Freaking awesome.

And since I am on You Tube, it was either Karen or Baby Bat who sent this a bit back:



Stuck in my head. Geez. :-) I even made up a song for Rhett Butler based on it:

Did you ever see a Butler's Butler kiss a Butler on the Butler
Butler, Butler, Butler, Butler
Butler, Butler, Squoosh!
(or 'Cook', if Cookie is nearby instead of Squoosh)
Here's a Butler, and a Butler, and another little Butler
Oh, no it's all the same Butler,
He's a porky cat.

Oh, shush. Rhett likes his song. :-)

I have to pack up and switch rooms in a bit...I would love to say I will be able to post again today (or at least get up some of the post drafts I have!), but I will see how it goes.

Enjoy the Holiday Season!


.

It's almost here!

Ack! And I am not ready... I am getting up and out early to do last-minute shopping, and to score some freaking *food*. I forgot to go shopping this week, and did not have time to grab anything yesterday. I'm thinking Vietnamese or Thai, to put a new twist on my traditional holiday Chinese food. :-)

Mummers and Meg-O-My-Heart are back, and so I'll probably end up taking at least one of them with me.

Yay, I think.

Jesus Freaking Christ on a Popsicle Stick

I guess that I am (somewhat) relieved to hear that the US isn't the only place on Earth with Cali-Liberal Pinheads, though I *do* believe that they are minted in then thar hills.

As a side note, if you are a Cali-Liberal Pinhead, you are pissing me off. I am sick of Your Kind. You are in desperate need of medication, therapy, an actual goal in Life, and a swift kick in the ass.

And not necessarily in that order.

From the Daily Mail:

Doctors order Santa to go on a diet

Father Christmas is at risk of serious illness because of his bulging waistline and needs to cut down on the mince pies, doctors warned today.

A survey of shopping centre Santas in Scotland revealed an average waist size of 47 inches - seven inches more than is considered safe.

Dr Miles Fisher, consultant physician at Glasgow Royal Infirmary said: "The image of Santa is of a round, jolly person and it is meant to be one of hilarity but if you have obesity around your tummy, then it is very bad for you.

"Before, we thought it was just not good to be overweight but now we know that having fat around your middle is particularly bad.

"That fat produces hormones, which have been associated with heart disease and other conditions."

According to health guidelines, having a waist circumference of more than 40 inches for men or 35 inches for women is a key indicator of abdominal obesity.

It is associated with a greater risk of heart disease or type 2 diabetes. And people who have rounder stomachs, known as "central obesity", are more at risk than people who are merely overweight.

Perhaps Santa should consider cutting back on the sherry as well.

Lord god almighty...SANTA IS A SYMBOL OF CHRISTMAS. SANTA CLAUS IS A FICTIONAL PERSON (apologies if this is news to you), A HOLIDAY TROPE, A WHOLLY-INVENTED CHARACTER. What retard would actually think that Santa might serve as a role model that we should be concerned with how fat he is? What humourless asshole would make such a stretch to further their own agenda? Santa is a jolly old fat man. Get the fuck OVER it. Quit over-analysing everything and taking even the lamest opportunity to stand up on a soapbox for your own personal issues; it is okay for Santa to be fat *and* good. Rilly. If you disagree, SEEK HELP, because YOU HAVE PROBLEMS.

And I really blame the Cali-Liberal Pinheads, 'cos it is just like them to obsess over how fat Santa is; I bet they are drafting petitions as I type. Lobbying to change the way Santa is depicted for the Common Good, ignoring the fact that they could re-direct their efforts a tad and do something that actually NEEDS TO BE DONE--like getting rid of high fructose corn syrup in commonly-ingested foodstuffs, for example. Because god only knows that Santa is too White, too fat, tries to buy friends because of his low self-esteem, and appears to have an unnatural and disturbing affinity for children. Let's get him the fuck out of here. I mean, really; clearly he's offensive, ethnocentric, and numbs children to the grooming behaviours of paedophiles.

I think we should have some buff twenty-year old Hispanic Santa who spreads the word to children (whilst keeping them at arm's length, of course) to eat veggies and not let Bad People touch them in their bathing suit areas. And he should only give out apples and health club memberships.

And he *must* be happily-married. Or better yet, gay--but in a committed state-sanctioned relationship. Or--there you go--gay and MARRIED. And his Mr Santa should be an older man, so as not to give NAMBLA any footing. We need to get rid of the elves, too--they look child-like because of their size and that also just *screams* paedophilia, plus this whole 'elf' thing is clearly an effort by The Man to keep migrant workers down by making their plight appear elf-like.

Or something.

Santa should hand out organic apples hand-picked by industrious communes of homeschooled vegans who have entered into a cooperative voluntarily, and not only receive monetary compensation which averages out to ten times the minimum wage per hour, but also have full medical, dental, and vision benefits, as well as access to the 'alternative' healthcare of their choosing. And this whole operation needs to be moved to some country that can benefit from the influx of jobs.

And we'd better hurry up and change all this before some group gets...::drum roll::...*offended*.

BWAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This reminds me of that recent failed marketing attempt with milk. They ('They' being The Man, man) removed cookie-scented strips from bus shelters because (1) people might be allergic, and (2) it might 'offend' homeless people, 'cos they can't afford cookies.

Just shoot me.

How about this:

(1) if you are really *that* allergic, you probably aren't out walking around in public. You are probably in some plastic bubble in some hospital, wishing someone would slip you a knife so that you could cut yourself the fuck out of there and die happy at a bus stop, smelling fucking cookies, free for the first time in your pathetic life. And if you *are* that allergic and out in public, guess what? You are (a) in the minority, (b) probably fully aware of what triggers your allergies and have methods to counteract/compensate...which includes just walking away, and (c) hopefully clued in to the fact that, although it is nice when your needs are considered, the world does not revolve around you; it never has, and it never will. The world will also not wait for you if you fall behind, and it won't wipe your butt if you crap yourself. Get used to it. If you don't understand that, you not only have allergies, you have intractable stupidity. You do not have the right to dictate to other people what they can and cannot do--only yourself. Cope.

(2) How about giving cookies to the homeless? That would be a really NICE thing to do. Give them milk, too. Or donate some money so that the charities that care for these poor people's needs on a daily basis can go buy them milk and cookies. And maybe some rehabilitation, and/or a safe place to stay so that they can get their bearings in Life back again. This 'if you didn't bring enough for the whole class, you can't have any either' mentality is RETARDED. The 'Whole Class' is the WORLD, moron. And you believe in Playground Justice, which is really pathetic. Get over it--in life some people have, and some don't, and the large majority of those that have don't give a crap about those that don't, be it human, animal, or societal. If you are feeling guilty over what you have, give to someone or something that doesn't have, and quit whining about how you want to eat your cookies in secret and not have to share with the homeless, you pathetic fucktard.

Ummm...I think I am feeling stress aftershocks.

I'll be okay. Really.

.