Ok...it's not funny, but...it's funny.
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Happy Wikipedia-ed Holidays
Ok...this is funny, even though he introduces it as Wikipedia's entry on Pesach (put the mouse down...it isn't), I am sure that by now some well-meaning soul has copied it over to the entry to every Jewish holiday. ;-) Ok, ok...it's What I Like About Jew's song (Sean Altman of this Jewmongous was in WILAJ) They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived (Let's Eat).
Love it. :-D Now, I have to go honour my saviour, Jeezy Creezy.
omfg, I crack me up. Sean cracks me up. Hee.
Love it. :-D Now, I have to go honour my saviour, Jeezy Creezy.
omfg, I crack me up. Sean cracks me up. Hee.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I have a new time-waster
Yes, besides being shot up with dust mites, dill weed, cat spit, and roach juice. I like home shopping bloopers. A lot. They are funny. I love home shopping. Sigh...
Ok...now back to work. I really want toast right now. Toast...mmmmmm!
Ok...now back to work. I really want toast right now. Toast...mmmmmm!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Kill me now before it gets worse.
Not that I bring up this movie a lot, but...remember Idiocracy? Well, I got this from Betty a little bit ago:
(continues from Betty's email)
(continues from Betty's email)
Okay, so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Wal-Mart Employee: 'Lo 'dis Walmarts bakree, how n'I help ya?'
Customer: 'I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Wal-Mart Employee: 'What you wan onna cake?'
Customer: "'Best Wishes Suzanne', and underneath that 'We will miss you'".
Friday, August 24, 2007
Fighting the Forces of Evil...again.
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Harry is mostly ok; the left side of his heart -- the one left un-bypassed -- is all crapped up. He is now on Plavix, and has to go back in a month, when his cardiologist will know if this can be stented at all.
On the way to work Wednesday afternoon, i was listening to NPR's story about a group named TAPS, that helps counsel children who have lost parents in Iraq to overcome their grief. The link is worth a listen if you have the time, and not just because it is a noble endeavour...oh, no; there is comic relief, too. It is run like a camp of sorts, with different exercises and projects designed to direct the children in a path they feel is more positive. The one project that i found most striking was the group project to make stress balls -- you know, those things vendors stick in your bag at conferences? Because, like I always say, having a stress ball is *just* like having a dad. Even better sometimes.
And were they unable to come up with *any* name better than 'Good Grief Camp'? All I can think of is Peanuts, sorry.
Sheesh.
At Job 2, we are having Upheaval...again. There is this guy who is fairly high-up in the food chain, only not with Job 2; he signed on with us recently, 'cos at the present time Job 2 is a farking money pit. Well, he started making moves last week and even more overtly this week towards unseating my immediate manager/senior researcher. This is just not good. The Wacky Divorcee (I named her Kate earlier, when we had the upheaval with Karol) I have mentioned a few times was placed under this guy, and I assisted with pulling her over to our group 'cos she was about to be let go. What this dork is doing is trying to stock his group with people who are in his back pocket, basically. To a large extent, he did something similar in our department a few years ago. Some people are just Completely Batshit Antisocial Megalomaniacs. Sigh. This will be fun; especially since, in gunning for Xena, Warrior Princess, this guy is indirectly gunning for me -- our whole group, in fact. I am amazed that he thinks his little group could accomplish *half* of what we have done, but apparently he must. For the time being, his group has been moved out of our building into a different facility across the street, more or less, but he wants *our* space. And our equipment. And allegedly is making grandiose claims and statements both about us, and about what *his* group is capable of doing in comparison to us to some of our funding sources. It just gets weirder and weirder. I guess I will have to explain more later, 'cos I need to actually pay attention in this class I am currently in (an unnecessary class -- my necessary one was last night -- but this one is with HoD), and I am beginning to wonder if HoD thinks I am really taking all these notes.
.
Harry is mostly ok; the left side of his heart -- the one left un-bypassed -- is all crapped up. He is now on Plavix, and has to go back in a month, when his cardiologist will know if this can be stented at all.
On the way to work Wednesday afternoon, i was listening to NPR's story about a group named TAPS, that helps counsel children who have lost parents in Iraq to overcome their grief. The link is worth a listen if you have the time, and not just because it is a noble endeavour...oh, no; there is comic relief, too. It is run like a camp of sorts, with different exercises and projects designed to direct the children in a path they feel is more positive. The one project that i found most striking was the group project to make stress balls -- you know, those things vendors stick in your bag at conferences? Because, like I always say, having a stress ball is *just* like having a dad. Even better sometimes.
And were they unable to come up with *any* name better than 'Good Grief Camp'? All I can think of is Peanuts, sorry.
Sheesh.
At Job 2, we are having Upheaval...again. There is this guy who is fairly high-up in the food chain, only not with Job 2; he signed on with us recently, 'cos at the present time Job 2 is a farking money pit. Well, he started making moves last week and even more overtly this week towards unseating my immediate manager/senior researcher. This is just not good. The Wacky Divorcee (I named her Kate earlier, when we had the upheaval with Karol) I have mentioned a few times was placed under this guy, and I assisted with pulling her over to our group 'cos she was about to be let go. What this dork is doing is trying to stock his group with people who are in his back pocket, basically. To a large extent, he did something similar in our department a few years ago. Some people are just Completely Batshit Antisocial Megalomaniacs. Sigh. This will be fun; especially since, in gunning for Xena, Warrior Princess, this guy is indirectly gunning for me -- our whole group, in fact. I am amazed that he thinks his little group could accomplish *half* of what we have done, but apparently he must. For the time being, his group has been moved out of our building into a different facility across the street, more or less, but he wants *our* space. And our equipment. And allegedly is making grandiose claims and statements both about us, and about what *his* group is capable of doing in comparison to us to some of our funding sources. It just gets weirder and weirder. I guess I will have to explain more later, 'cos I need to actually pay attention in this class I am currently in (an unnecessary class -- my necessary one was last night -- but this one is with HoD), and I am beginning to wonder if HoD thinks I am really taking all these notes.
.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Tie for favourite picture ever!
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I now have a tie for Ancodia's Most Favourite Picture Ever. I just found it, and I am in LOVE. This could not be more perfect had it been planned to turn out the way it has. As Squoosh is my witness, I *shall* find a way to print this on a t-shirt.
And I will wear that t-shirt. Proudly.
I have laughed so hard over this in the past hour that I have actually given myself dyspepsia, and my stomach muscles hurt.
When I get it, I may wear my t-shirt every day for the rest of my life. It is this sort of...effect of civilisation that results in people turning into either of two things: consumers, or Wonko the Sane. How awesome.
When we finally do become extinct, we will have deserved it. Richly.
.
I now have a tie for Ancodia's Most Favourite Picture Ever. I just found it, and I am in LOVE. This could not be more perfect had it been planned to turn out the way it has. As Squoosh is my witness, I *shall* find a way to print this on a t-shirt.
And I will wear that t-shirt. Proudly.
I have laughed so hard over this in the past hour that I have actually given myself dyspepsia, and my stomach muscles hurt.
When I get it, I may wear my t-shirt every day for the rest of my life. It is this sort of...effect of civilisation that results in people turning into either of two things: consumers, or Wonko the Sane. How awesome.
When we finally do become extinct, we will have deserved it. Richly.
.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Look Skyward, Moron!
Driving home, I thought of this skit for No Reason Whatsoever and ended up giggling like a nut the rest of the way back; I am amazed that I found it on You Tube:
What the hell?
What the hell?
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Feline Physics
Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair of a color in inverse proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable as possible for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Law of Cat Obstruction - A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Cat Acceleration - A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation - Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Milk Consumption - A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing - A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid Displacement - A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
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