Friday, May 29, 2009

Not Dead Yet

This has been a rough month-ish. I changed one job, our product was
basically stolen at another, and I have the Summer Teaching Load From
Hell. But I live. I would promise to catch up on everything,
only...I'm *tired*. I have a licence-related competency test in a few
months, and I have to pass. I cannot promise a lot until I get out
from all the crap I have piled on top of myself. I have never needed a
vacation more. I would have tweeted, but it seems that 140 characters
has not been enough. I just have to make it through this...somehow. I
keep promising myself that when this is over, I will do something nice
for myself; I guess we will see. :-/

Eviljob is still...well, evil. What a mess. There was only ONE litter
born this year (thank god), so they will be ready for round up in
about a month-ish. As for the inside of the place, I am in Hell; my
immediate manager is still batshit crazy, and we (a couple people in
my workgroup) are dealing with another manager who used to be really
good friends with Supermom, but as far as I am concerned, she's off
her meds. Friendship with Supermom will only carry you so far. It's
especially bad, cos her area is surrounding ours -- we're smack in the
middle of her department, basically. She had a meltdown at work when
her husband left her, and started checking into getting plastic
surgery. No, I am not kidding. Then her husband came back and we
thought all was well-ish and she'd just get a boob job and go back to
normal, but no -- she starts cheating on him with someone at work who
is, literally, half her age. Yiii! Our nickname for him is Little Boy
(because he is one), and I joke that we're working at Ground
Hiroshima, which earns blank stares, but you get my joke, I am sure.
And this has turned into a spectacle...not cool or discreet at all. If
we didn't sort-of like her, it would be funny. As things are, we are
just hoping she does not make a bad decision...oh, who am I fooling?
Girlfriend is fucking up, bigtime; she pulls him off on projects that
she doesn't even have the authority to pull him off on, cos he does
not work for her. Sigh. I feel like carrying a riot shield to deflect
the carnage. ::ducking::

Mummers is ok; she went into the hospital with a diagnosis of renal
failure and was in for four days. All the stern talkings-to in the
world will not do anything. Sigh.

Meg is fine...testy, but fine. Annoying the hell out of me, but...fine.

My brother got the highly-coveted research position, and is moving.
Yay. After this, in a year, he'll be stationed possibly back in San
Antonio, but more likely in VA or HI. My vote is HI. He says I don't
get a vote, though. :-( I need an excuse to go back to Honolulu, cos
Tenkaippen puts fucking HEROIN in their noodle bowls, and I need MOAR!

Harry got fired, and is looking for a job. His girlfriend, Cindy, was
in hospital for a week and handful of days (I forget) with cellulitis,
which is really gross. Blecch.

Nurse Betty is on vaca in Vegas with her Nicholas Cage-lookin' husby,
Mr Nurse Betty. She's been gone from last Monday, and has a week and a
half left. Miss her!

Through the miracle that is The Facebook, as I tease Meg, (also Teh
Facebook; Meg picking-on to follow), I have found another long-lost now I have like three whole entire friends. No, not on LIFE. This is like a record for me; I am very picky. Ok,
that's not entirely true, I have more friends, feels that way
sometimes. I'm naming her Maria here (that's her ringtone on my cell
-- My Maria. Stevenson, natch...even though I like Brooks & Dunn's
version, too). So yay. I don't ever tell people what their ringtones
are, cos they might be insulted. Supermom's is Wendy Carlos' Ode to
Joy (yes, I know); Karen's is 'I Play Chicken With The Train'; Harry's
is a 'Bullshitter Alert' one which I got for free at; Meg's
used to be Zedge's 'Sister Alert', but I just changed it a few months
ago to Lady Gaga's Pokerface, cos Meg hates that song so much. My
brother's is a clip from KITH's 'I'm a Bad Doctor' skit, and his
wife's is a Laura Petrie montage, cos SiL reminds me so much of Laura
Petrie that I could spew, and often do. Speaking of Catholics, Mary
Catherine and a few others from Job 2.5 all share 'MMM Bop', cos they
tend to phone frequently to get me to fix their problems, and Meg made
the comment that I should set their tone as 'MMM Bop'; I thought that
was funny, then found out she was making a joke about House (that TV
show that I never get to watch), but from what I hear, that makes it
even more appropriate. Meltdown Manager's tone is Buckcherry's 'Crazy
Bitch'; it used to be Happythought Hall's 'Get Happy', but I moved
that over to my therapist for teh lolz (I may not have mentioned that
I actually started seeing a therapist, so *there*...I mentioned it. I
correct him a lot, and tease him cos he cannot do math, which is, of
course, why he went into clinical psychology in the first place. He
loves the attention, and phones me when I am late to appointments. I
would have rather had a girl, but I think he's gay, so...close
enough). Betty's ring tone changes most frequently of anyone's based
upon stuff that is going on in our lives, and right now it is Baroque
Hoedown; before that, it was some soundage I'd stolen off the
Hexbreaker slot/fruit machine (whichever I say, I get corrected by
someone), and the Old Faithful of Betty ringtones is either Jarreau's
'My Old Friend' or Chaka Khan's version of 'Ain't Nobody', and
speaking of breakdancing, a fair number of our trainers share George
Kranz' 'Trommeltanz', a/k/a 'Din Daa Daa'. Everyone from We Luvvem Cat
Rescue is the cats meowing 'Jingle Bells'. Oh, and Mummers' is a
really funny one I also got from Zedge; it's to the tune of Justin
(why do I always want to call him 'Joshua'?) Timberlake's 'SexyBack',
only the lyrics are 'your Mama's callin' back...for no real reason,
but just to chat...she'll waste your minutes talkin' bout the cat...'

SO hilarious! Of course I told her that hers was 'Begin the Beguine',
her favourite song. I am such a shitty daughter. :-O

And I have tons more, but I forget why I even started this... OH,
YEAH! Maria! Maria and I went to school together *ever* ago, and
lost touch; when I was putting her number in my cell, 'My Maria' just
popped into my head from nowhere. I am so happy that I have her back
in my life. I am trying to figure out how to visit her...soon. She was
with this one man for *years*, and he fairly drove me nuts; he was
much older, wealthy, the whole nine yards. Well, he's dead. If he had
a ringtone, it'd be a snippet from 'Suck My Dick...' by Lords of Acid:
' know, he's dead -- dead! hahahahaha'. IMHO, he treated Maria,
who is magical like Betty and Squoosh, like shit much of the time. He
did a couple of nice things for her, like buying a really *gorgeous*
pigeon's blood ruby ring that is probably worth my *house*, but other
things I think sucked. He cheated on her a few times, and that really
enraged me. Jerk.

Man, on a side note, I am having *such* a craving for steak sauce
right now...and earlier, it was for my super-special clam chowder with
vinegar and sherry ('s delicious). WTF? And now that I
thought about it, I'm back on the vinegar-sherry clam chowder kick.
Christ. And no, I am not pregnant, and I won't name it after you.
Shaddap. more thing, then I am finished: I tease Meg about her doing
what I call 'Jewing-up' the names of most popular social sites, hence
'The Facebook'. It's also 'The Twitter'; left to her own devices, Meg
often spouts off with stuff that totally makes her sound like an old
Jewish lady, seriously. A few years ago, one of the guys from her old
PhD alma mater, himself also a maths PhD, invited her to check out his
MySpace page (he's an idiot, what can I say? He also was friending a
ton of his students on there, and that is just creepy), and Meg, who
is ever-distainful of such things, mis-remembered the name and started
calling MySpace 'The Space Blog', or 'That Space Page', and hilarity
ensued; I was immediately giving my impersonation of some sixty
year-old Palm Beach sabra talking about keeping up with her friends on
their 'The Space Blog Page'. Over time, this has morphed into keeping
up with the rest of the koffee klatch in WPB via 'The Facebook', 'The
Twitterer', and so on; anytime a new outlet rears its ugly head, I add
a 'the' to the name and lump it in when I tease Meg. Hee.

ok...I am going to go see if I have any lemonade and go to sleep.