Wednesday, December 31, 2008

riding on into the new year...

Sigh. I am riding (with Meg) to a family get-together for New Year's.
I had started a post, but it got way too long, so I will have to post
it later. Basically, we are all meeting, only Mummers did not want to
ride because she said that riding with Meg makes her nervous.

It just makes me bored.

I am working on what all I will be resolving for 2009, and debating
whether I want to even address the possibility of putting my family
name back into use (this is an explanation contained in the larger
post I just surrendered to Draftland). Generally, I am largely
satisfied. One thing I can offer to give up are these damned Belgian
chocolate-dipped cookies with which mom has sent us off. Bwaah.

This is distressing -- I am not READY for the Holiday Season to be
over. I know that I hav declared that it continues until 13 February,
but the sad fact is that no one ever joins me in continuing to
celebrate. In between my upheavals at work, losing my lovely
Siameasle, Mummers' health issues, and finally getting my head screwed
on straight with respect to my program issues, frankly, 2008 has
sucked ass. I want my money back.

Every year, I mumble something about how I should make a list of the
best Christmas movies of all time. Well, here is my first attempt at a
Top Twelve Best Christmas Movies:

12. Silent Night, Deadly Night and Black Christmas. No Christmas
viewing would be complete without them both. At the same
time. Punish!! w00t!

11. Last Action Hero. I am really pretty sure this takes place at
Christmas because Shane Black wrote it before he lost his damn mind.
If not, pretend that it does; it is a wonderful movie!

10. Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Claus. What a fucking creepfest! Ho, ho,
ho! Steve Guttenberg acts so frickin creepy in this that it is amazing
he hasn't been put up on any state-maintained sex offender sites just
ON PRINCIPLE. He manages to be even creepier than Gus in the Psych
episode where they're checking out nannies at the playground, and Dule
Hill was TRYING to act creepy. Out-creeped by Guttenberg! Man...creepy
crown DENIED!! You will agree, too; bring a festive blanky with you to
hide under during those 'omfg, I am so embarrassed for you' moments
that seem to work their way into most Lifetime movies.

9. Meet the Santas. Shouldn't that be 'Meet the Clauses'? Maybe the
Mr and Mrs couldn't agree on who gets to be the predicate. Anyhoo, I
am including this one because I just know you are on the edge of your
seat in suspense over the disposition of number ten. So watch it, and
you'll know.

8. Fred Claus. Because I would go down on Vince Vaughn in a New York
minute. And What's His Name, too -- you know -- the gay one who is a
really good actor? I don't know why I think Vaughn is so cute, but I
cannot help it -- I do. And I am using Fred Claus instead of Four
Christmases because, frankly, FC sucked. Not because it was not funny
-- it was hilarious in places -- but because it seemed like halfway
through the film everyone just got tired of making it, so they ended
it. So we're going with Fred Claus. Oh, and also 'cos Pig Vomit is
Santa, and that is awesome. I cannot remember his name, but Pig Vomit

7. Die Hard. Yippee kai-yay, motherfucker. Need I say more? Well, I'm
gonna. Bloodshed, loud ka-booms, and debating which New York minute
would be faster, given a choice between Vaughn and Rickman; that's
what xmas is all about. And bonus points for including Run-D.M.C.'s
Christmas in Hollis, one of the best holiday songs ever (list to
come). Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho. Best line in the history of

6. Die Hard 2. The best Die Hard by far, with the exception of there
being no Alan Rickman, or any real hottie that I can recall, in it.
And there is the guy who could not act to save his life...oh, wait --
that's what makes this film great. And the Terminator guy. and John
Leguziamo. And snow. And icicle-fu. Makes me want to celebrate the
birth of jesus by jumping on a snowmobile and capping terrorists with
a machine gun, and that's a good, American, Christmassy-kind of
feeling. Yippee kai-yay, motherfucker!

We're here, and I am going to check in and have a hot bath...bbiaf,
not that you'd notice...

k, back; now on with our countdown:

5. True Lies. Yes, it is set at Christmas. And not only is it
chock-full of amazingly-quotable lines, but it is about family values.
And killing terrorists. And nuclear war heads. And breaking people's
necks with your bare hands, and throwing scalpels into their eyeballs.
Oh -- and limo-fu; god only knows there is not enough chick-on-chick
limo-fu in this world, though I *personally* would have been happier
if it had been, say, Joan Jett and Anna Nicole Smith -- now *that*
would have been a merry fucking Christmas. Makes me want to punch out
a used car salesman...hell, yeah!

4. The Long Kiss Goodnight. We are closing in on the essence of the
holiday spirit here with this Shane 'I Just Need Four Million More To
Pay My House Off' Black gem, clearly one of the corniest movies of all
time. This is a movie about finding oneself, being true to who you are
(even if it does involve bleaching one's hair and blowing things up),
and choosing family -- and a briefcase full of money -- over killing
people just because your government wants you to, and isn't that nice?
We all need to learn that lesson -- that we shouldn't want to kill
Craig Bierko because the government wants us to, we should kill Craig
Bierko because *WE* want to. Plus, the little daughter, Cathead (I
have sworn that, if I ever have a daugter, I will name my daughter
Cathead in honour of this film), looks so cute in her little
tinsel-haloed costume. This film also has some of the best lines EVER!
This is one of the hokiest films out there...I cannot fathom how NO
ONE mentions how farkakteh hokey this film is. Plus, after you watch
it, you can see tons of other movies and play Spot Daedalus, like I
do. It's good to have a dart gun by the sofa whilst playing Spot
Daedalus -- my cats love that part. *will* watch The Long
Kiss Goodnight, princess, and you will watch it through to the end! Am
I understood? Bwahaha...chefs do that! Hee...deflowering virgins!
omfg...this is one of the greatest films ever. It just has SO MUCH to

3. Last Holiday. Okay, like, first off, *I* want to go to Kalovy Vary
-- the place is GORGEOUS. Like even-more-beautiful-than-Tahoe
Gorgeous! So right there, we have the fantastic Christmassy scenery.
Plus, Queen Latifah is perfect for this role. Plus Dr Gupta reminds me
of a guy I don't currently work with but have in the past and will
again; if I have mentioned him here, I probably named him Pancakes.
It's hard to not want to kill Pancakes. But back to Last Holiday: This
is almost THE perfect Christmas movie -- it even has food, food, food!
And it has a good moral, a happy ending, and...the only reason this
film is not number one is that it was beaten out by a smidgeon. Or

2. It's a Wonderful Life. No serious list of Christmas movies could
leave off It's a Wonderful Life; true, no one gets killed and nothing
gets blown up, but we can overlook that. I will never forget the one
holiday season that I was working at an answering service (overnights
because I was the evening supervisor and our night girl quit) and I
held a contest with myself to see how many times I could watch it
because it seemed like it was on every damned station. Funny thing
was, it did not occur to me to *count* because, well, it was JUST ME.
This makes perfect sense to me. So even though I can quote dialogue
like that one creepy scene in I Am Legend, I cannot tell you how many
times I have seen it. Most of you have no idea how boring it gets at
an answering service. Probably about as boring as it's gonna get when
we're hiding out after we get overrun by vampires or zombies.

And now...::drum roll::...the one, the only, the celluloid embodiment
of all that is Christmas -- the good, the bad, and the ugly, it's...

...I am dying to know *your* guess..

1. Jingle All The Way. There is nothing I could possibly say that
could explain how much I love this movie. Sure, it could have been
better, but it is HILARIOUS. It has everything the holiday season
could possibly contain -- love, greed, superheroes, and psychotic
postal service workers. Oh, and mall shots. And cookies ('Mmmmmm!
These COOKIES!'). And a not-dead Phil Hartman getting eggnog-fu'd. And
Balthazar. Balthazar!

Wow...I cannot believe it took me this long to make a list...or how
tired I am. I am going to sleep for a few hours and then go play.

Monday, December 29, 2008


i am cleaning house, and had something very weird happen -- i found
one purse and an outfit stuffed in my closet that i did not think were
mine, but they are. i think that i am under more stress than i
realise. i wrote a whole post about it, then shelved it because it is
just too strange, but i needed to discuss it with someone, and i
cannot just ring a friend and go getting weird on them. i am fine,
just a little spooked.

everything else is good. meg asked me if i thought mom was 'normal'
cognitively since her most recent hospitalisation, and i do not think
she is 'normal', she seems nicer and less belligerent, but slower to
grasp some things. it is not pronounced, but it is there. meg thinks
mom might have had an undiscovered stroke, but i doubt that; they
tested the bejeezus out of her, even more so once i got her cc changed
from syncope. she had a neuro workup, and they said no stroke. i think
it is blood sugar related; i think she might have pickled her brain a
tich with her blood sugars of 500+. i do not know if that can actually
kill off brain cells, but that is kind of an irrelevant issue at this
point, because if it can, then we work with what is; if it cannot, by
working with what is, she gets better en route. she's not
incapacitated, and i know that high glucose makes her nasty, so maybe
she just *seems* so much nicer in comparison. :-)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas, from your favourite atheist :-*

It's not a cheese bear, but in my opinion a penguin is far better anyway.

Monday, December 22, 2008

cheese bear regrets

today i accomplished only a little; i got the last of my work-friends
(streching across four jobs at this point) gifted. tomorrow i meet
betty, we'll hang out at the mall, kvetch, drink coffee, and play in
the sink at bath and body works. meg is taking mom tomorrow (we have
been pressed into babysitting service until her blood sugar stabilises
and she 'exhibits competence' with routine maintenance -- in other
words, considering mommy, perpetuity -- per her doctor, who has her
scheduled with a different endocrinologist in a few weeks).

i met meg and mom for dinner after i'd run my errands at the
cheesecake factory (oh, no; mommy is out of luck,
cheesecake-eating-wise, fear not), and they were having a promotion
where if one were to buy a stuffed bear for twenty-five dollars, then
you'd get a 'free' twenty-five dollar gift card. put another way, one
is buying the stuffed bear for the amount of tax on the gift card. i
told meg that i was going to get a cheese bear (meg hates it when i
call squooshable 'squibbly-cakes', so i enjoy annoying her by leaving
off 'cake' from words, under the guise of humouring her preference to
not hear the word 'cake', when in reality she says that i 'sound gay'
when i talk to squooshable like that. she actually thinks that most of
my cats' nicknames are 'gay', though i personally like 'the vicar of
squibbly'; how is that gay?), and i sent multiple texts to meg about
getting a cheese bear (none of which clarified what a 'cheese bear'
was; i am obnoxious like that) as we were waiting to be seated and she
was taking mummers on a walk around the plaza to get some exercise.
meg does things like that, where i expect mom to be largely
self-maintenancing (foolish me); with meg babysitting, mummers' blood
sugar stays around 100...with me in charge, it sneaks up to 220-ish
before i realise she's turned back into the irritable old witch i know
and love, and make her drink water and take walkies.

sigh. yes, i am actually talking about my own mother as if she were a
springer spaniel; what of it?


so when i was buzzed for all of us to get sat, i paged meg and showed
her the cheese bears, then she just got flat-out irritated, saying
that she has nothing against the word 'cake(s)', which confused the
hell out of mom, and i was just dying laughing, leaving meg to explain
to mom what was going on...bwahaha. oh, i crack me up.

ok, so finally i decide to get a cheese bear, 'cos it's like, two
dollars. meg said that if i ever buy another stuffed animal for her,
she's donating it. i told her that if she so much as *looks* like she
is going to donate the Mumble i had to scrap and fight to get for her
when Happy Feet came out, i was going to kill her where she stood.

oh, come on -- those things were selling for $250 on eBay towards the
end, and i paid TWENTY DOLLARS EACH for them, and i had to fight
through a horde of psychotic women to get them!

i am not *ever* a psychotic woman. i heard that.

anyway, so i go up to the front to buy my cheese bear before we pay
(so that i can use the gift card), and can you believe -- in that
short period of time, the cheese bear i wanted had been sold out! they
only had the white cheese bears with the blue cheese bear baseball
caps on, where i'd had my heart set on the brown cheese bear with the
red cheese bear sweater. bastards.

it is like a conspiracy. srsly.

so i sulked back to the table and made up words to fit the piped-in
carols just to annoy improvised lyrics being all to the point
of not having a cheese bear. like, 'it's the most wonderful time of
the year...if you have a cheese bear that is, which i do not, and so i
am quite at the most wonderful season of all...for those
owning cheese bears, of which i don't number, things must seem so the most wonderful time of the year'.

well, mummers was laughing. i am actually pretty good at making up my
own lyrics extemporaneously. really -- it's a talent, one of my few.

and for the record, as i explaned to meg, i think donating a cheese
bear is not a very good donation, unless the gift card were included;
i mean, it is branded all over with 'the cheesecake factory', so
without the gift card, that is like an after-thought pseudo-gift,
which strikes *me* as being a tad tacky. but that is just my humble
opinion, and meg disagrees, feeling instead that anything one gives
(in new condition) is a good donation.

so then i rode with meg and mom to a nearby subdivision that'd been
shown on the news because of the decorations, and now i am home. whee.

we did (finally) get word that my brother's application for a
sabbatical-like leave from the army has been approved, so he will be
moving next june-ish to this research/teaching appointment. this came
as a big relief to us, because as far as pushing his career forward,
this is a boost, and he deserves it. not that i am biased, or
anything. :-)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Happy Wikipedia-ed Holidays

Ok...this is funny, even though he introduces it as Wikipedia's entry on Pesach (put the mouse isn't), I am sure that by now some well-meaning soul has copied it over to the entry to every Jewish holiday. ;-) Ok,'s What I Like About Jew's song (Sean Altman of this Jewmongous was in WILAJ) They Tried To Kill Us, We Survived (Let's Eat).

Love it. :-D Now, I have to go honour my saviour, Jeezy Creezy.

omfg, I crack me up. Sean cracks me up. Hee.

Diagnosis: Stoopid.

Mummers is out of the hospital, and we have an actual, real,
official diagnosis.

Yes, other than she is a clumsy old lady, the favoured dx of Yolanda, the
Bitch Idiot Hospitalist, who had her prescription for a walker forwarded on
to The Powers That Be after we got mom out of there. There is no joy in
Mudville right now, I assure you.

She went into some seizure from diabetic ketoacidosis, and then went into
cardiac arrest because of the strain on her heart from the ventricle
problem, the low K, high WBC, and so on.

This all occurred when my mommy decided to TAKE HERSELF OFF HER
DIABETES MEDS two months ago. Why? Because she does not have diabetes,
of course; her life was *so* much easier without worrying about the
diabetes she didn't have.

Sigh. Just shoot me.

I am better. Mom is on Lantis (I think that's the name) for the time
being, and I am nursing a week-long migraine and twitching asshole.

Now I just have to get my holiday ass in gear...happy Channukah!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Stop, or I'll Sing Christmas Shoes!

Talked with a 'Patient Advocate' at the hospital near me...I think I was successful; we will see.  

In other Sick-Assed Person News, Harry is doing really well on the Topomax, and has an appointment for sometime soon with this new neuro.

I am online right now, buying Meg's present(s), not like I wait forever, or anything.  This year, it's a lomo outfit.  I only have four more people to buy for, not counting short beastie-type relatives who are spoilt rotten by my brother, and I can get nothing for except gift cards to We Be Toys.  Oh, and three office admins.  

I am certain that I am forgetting someone.  Sigh.

Mommy continues to be well-ish.  

Sunday, December 14, 2008

and yet more update

mom is ok; hospitalist gone. darn. got her over to 'her' hospital, and
her blood sugar is almost normal. one nurse at mom's hospital said
that mom's pcp (now that he's been told she was even *in* hospital,
thank you, idiot bitch hospitalist) said on the phone to her that it
looked to him like it was the result of a number of things coming
together that caused this to happen -- elevated white blood cell count
from a previously-unnoticed infection (mommy decided to not take any
of her dentist's antibiotics after extensive bridgework week before
last because, according to mummers, dentists aren't doctors and should
not be prescribing antibiotics), plus blood sugar of 483 (unbeknownst
to me, she stopped ALL diabetes meds back in October because she
thinks she was told to during her last hospitalisation -- she wasn't,
she's batshit crazy), plus mom seriously physically exerting herself
on monday night (don't even get me started on that one, i was fussing
at her about it already), plus the newly-discovered left ventricle
insufficiency (mild), plus low potassium @ time of admission to ED on
Tuesday, so it might be assumed it was low before. she'll hear from
her *real* cardiologist tomorrow, but for right now the pcp has said
to treat the blood sugar as cc cos he thinks that put her into the
seizure-like state, then her heart crapped out during the blood sugar
seizure under the stress of all the other aforementioned conditions.
they've got her on a heart monitor of course, but it's good. well,
it is *ok*. for mommy. and so she may be released soon, with a
follow-up to a new endocrinologist (she quit her last one unbeknownst
to me back around march for some completely retarded reason, like he
wears orange, or he parts his hair on the right), and an

oh! oh! want to know what that idiot bitch hospitalist gave mummers
when we checked her out? a prescription for a WALKER, and GAIT
TRAINING with a physical therapist. no, i am not joking. this is
because mom has 'a history of falling' ( she also listed
mommy's cc as syncope (leading to my yelling at her in the hall.
syncope? my ass; try asystole), and even told meg 'old people fall all
the time; you and your sister need to calm down -- every time an old
person falls, it is not a cardiac problem'. yes, that's right -- mom
'just fell', and she 'just fell' because she is 'a little old lady',
and little old ladies 'just fall' all the time.

perhaps in *your* world, you dumb whore, because it seems that you
*look* for falls to the exclusion of anything else.

omfg we are *so* going around on monday. the good news is this
hospital is practically right around the corner, so i can be a
nuisance in the admin wing until someone does something about this
bint. i so very have rabies right now.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I want a *real* doctor; you know -- a Jew.

Because she was at my home when this happened, Mummers went to a different hospital; this is the first time she has ever had a 'hospitalist', to the best of my knowledge.  In the past, she's been in the cardiac ward of the hospital close to her, where her regular cardiologist is the director (of the cardiac unit).  He is also the stent specialist -- he gets called in to put stents in places normal humans cannot access.  He can do this, and all on thirty seconds (or less) of sleep, because he's super-human.  And Jewish.  ;-)

Well, this hospitalist is a fucking bitch.  When I was at work today, she actually picked a fight with Meg, and then apologised for 'getting off on the wrong foot', as if we'd just arrived.  Then she made another snide remark at Meg that 'old people fall all the time', completely ignoring the part about Mummers falling because she was in cardiac-fucking-arrest.  

Plus, she didn't *fall*; I helped her to the ground.  


Her Bitchiness and I are going to go around tomorrow -- I am in a rage over her waiting until I was gone to pull this stunt -- and I think that this will end with my moving Mommy back to 'her' hospital, even if I have to kidnap her.  

...can you say disruptive physician , children?  I know you can.  :-)

This bitch has no idea who she is trying to fuck with, but she is about to find out.  


Mommy Mood Swings

she's being nice to me today. wow.


my brother thinks she needs an eval for a pacemaker or defibrillator
or something, and so mom phoned me to ask what her ejection fraction
was, as if i have that written down in my purse. i clarified that she
has to ask her nurse or cardiologist for that, and sent a text to my
brother to the effect that, at some point, he might want to phone
mom's cardiologist again himself, cos she's a dotty bird to begin
with, and right now she's a little more confused (and confusing) than

in the meantime, i am fighting like a bitch to get shit graded. bwaah.
it never ends.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

update. sort-of.

Mom is still in the hospital, being tested. still no explanation for
what occurred.

i am very depressed and worried.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

guess who's dying for dinner?

better yet, guess where i am.


this time it was cardiac arrest. mummers went cyanotic. boy, was that part fun.

i would love to talk about how upset and traumatised i am, but i'll
spare you. no one cares anyway. she comes to only to pick fights with
me. i have stopped talking with her for the time being.

Friday, December 05, 2008

le sigh.

I seem to have had another one of those holiday mood swings again;
this is starting to seriously blow. I was fine until this evening,
then...*crash*. Now I am all depressed, with no specific cause.

I have the first of the usual work-school-work-work-schtuff holiday
parties tomorrow, and I have managed to get *out* of the holiday mood.
I would say it has something to do with going alone, as I'd
yes/no/maybe'd taking a certain person enough times that I finally
fell back on my rule of 'if the answer is not immediately "yes", then
it should be an immediate "no"'. And so it goes; that really does not
upset or entangle me, I am honestly just 'in the dumps' for no reason
at all.

Nothing else interesting, at least nothing I can remember. This is
bad; I do not usually get like this.

Okay, yes I do, just not for no reason.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Big Cats Love Pumpkins!

I would have never guessed, but...s'true. From Big Cat Rescue:

Monday, December 01, 2008

Yes, I know -- I broke it.

Here's a working link; go watch:

Ohh! Me so happy... Me happy long time!

I just found where I can see all the True Blood episodles for free without having to futz with my cable company's nonsense about how I can "see this show any time on demand at Channel x^x* (only when you go to do so, you cannot figure out *how* to)":

If you pick the Flash option, you don't have to subscribe to anything.  Rock 0000nnn... Especially seeing as how with my cable company, I'd then be paying for the shite twice, kind of like how the IRS double-taxes you on investments and stuff.  Phuckerz.

So I am watching the Making of The Arbypire episode (Meg and I have decided that, were Mummers' cat Arby to be human, she'd be Jessica), and then catching up on the one I missed and making a half-hearted lesson for tomorrow.  Yay.  

*x^x is to be pronounced on this blog as 'exety-ex', by-the-way; it is pronounced this way because it annoys Meg, who says that it is like fingernails on a blackboard.  hee.  I've a tich of Arbypire in me, too.  

Sunday, November 30, 2008

i'm back; remind me to never do that again.

i decided at the last second to go meet what remains of my family --
my brother has a conference-y thing this week a couple hours away, so
with a little behestation from meg, they'd agreed he'd leave out
early, she'd take her regularly-scheduled vacation, and then mom
decided to go, then i decided to, also. i had fun, but spent more than
i'd wanted, and did not really get to 'hang out' with anyone from
Tribe Ancodia.

so that was fun.

and i managed to accomplish little in the way of work (shocker), so i
am up right now, debating whether i am too tired to read essays. sigh.

it has been a long semester, but i am going to miss spending all this
time out at botany bay; i would consider a position out there, but the
head asshat in charge is, well, an asshat. i think it is a
prerequisite to going into administration. after all this time doing
the military/government/academia thing, i still cannot understand what
is so horrid about simply being *nice*.


i also came back to find that i have apparently ticked off mary
catherine, one of my friends from the program; as socially
inappropriate as i can be at times (when amongst friends), i suppose
she should not have been surprised when i called her on some
misinformation she was spewing, but it would seem that she was
surprised by it. i really do not know what to say to that one; i
honestly have not had a lot of experience with 'friends' that rattle
on when they should be shushing. i guess i will deal with it if/when i
get confronted, but in the meantime, it is an annoyance to come back
to find that i am getting the email 'silent treatment' (not too
mature, there). sigh. meh.

in other news, harry is driving me batshit; he is having some kind of
brain rebound thing or something, and i frankly have run out of
suggestions. he is supposed to see this new neurologist this week (i
think), and that day cannot come too soon.

i also wish that i had boarded my cats with this nearby 24-hr vet in
the past; not only are they available by phone all the time, but it is
incredibly easy to pick up my babies at any ol' time that suits me.
coolness. this is the same vet to whom chrissy introduced me ages ago,
the one who was cutting such a break for me price-wise on feral
speuters when i first got started doing the TNR stuff. i kind-of miss
trapping around xmas, listening to xmas carols on the radio as i drove
with stinky boy cats in traps over there. that was fun.

well, in a weird way.

i think that i have decided that i am too tired to really do anything
tonight; i will try again tomorrow. :-) i haven't even described the
fiasco at eviljob that erupted when i was away -- the husband of one
of my friends freaking *left* her, and she had a nervous breakdown.
supermom saved her by performing ego cpr and getting her to settle
down, then something else happened and now schmuckman is expected back
tomorrow -- monday (he found out his new gf snores and cannot cook,
was what i suggested to supermom via text). sigh. men. can't live with
them, can't dig deep enough to outwit cadaver dogs.


Thursday, November 27, 2008

i'm cold and in heat

i have quit teh gambling for tonight. i do not know where the rest of
the famille is right now other than meg (i tried phoning mummers to
tell her good night, but i guess i distracted her from sizzlechest or
something, cos she started in with the 'i love you so much, thank you
for such a fun thanksgiving, this was a great idea, blah, blah,
blah...', then stopped and asked, 'is this meg? ...or ancodia, or
lorelai [my mackerel snapper SiL who is destined to be very bored this
holiday weekend]?'; i just said, 'omfg' and hung up on her. i mean,
we'd just been sat next to each other for over two hours, and on top
of that, it's not like she didn't give birth to me, or could maybe
read caller id), but i am getting ready for a nap before some serious
freaking shopping. in a way i miss thanksgiving at amelia's, but she
is all moved back to minneapolis, and i suppose that i am
better-suited to this rootless, anti-traditional holiday thing,
anyway. one cannot fight one's nature for long, i guess.

i finally decided to leave my table because, aside from the fact that
i need sleep to shop, there was a very handsome guy at my table, and
because i am ovulating, i kept being nice to him, which is *such* a
stupid way to play. in fairness, he was playing 'nice' as well, but
that is just a bad habit waiting to happen; i should know better than
to play when i am ovulating. :-) sigh. or i should just man up and
ask for a date. :-)

butsoanyway, i do not know about the rest of the famille, but as for
me, i ate way too much bavette-style marinated flank steak (zomg,
awesomely good!), and am now comfy in my room; it is freezing (open
windows...there's a crazy woman on!), and i have found the
local radio station that has my nemesis -- delilah -- on teh clockety
radio so i have xmas music, and i am one happy agnostic half-jew
freethinking philosophical lhp-er, let me tell you. i might be a tich
happier if i had taken a swipe at the cute guy downstairs (the magic
eight ball in my head tells me i would have been successful), he might have cooties, or a girlfriend about whom he was
fibbing (he made quite certain that i received the message that he was
tres-way single).

not that men lie, or anything. nah.

i would have brought harry and cindy, but i have already laid out too
much for them this week to be footing (at the very least) the majority
of airfare and hotelling, plus both have to work tomorrow, and also
had dinner plans with a very bizarre friend of cindy's (she works for
a pornography company -- no, not as 'talent'). they seem to be doing
ok; perhaps next year, cos harry is almost family, practically, and i
did spend close to ten hours with cindy on monday and my brain did not
explode. that's promising.

i should check my black friday websites to make sure that i have all
my ducks in a row and no last-minute announcements have happened,
but...i am comfortable, and so i am going to get a little mavericky
here and not fire up the lappy 486.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008


i am taking off now; getting everything taken care of so that i can
evacuate has been a herculean task, especially when i really just
decided to do it yesterday as i was driving back into Happy Valley,
enjoing the cold night.

i did get (i think) the beginnings of a food-ordering program for our
rescue group going last night; we'll be getting shipments of cat and
dog (rescue group also does dogs) food on the cheap. after all i have
spent, this makes me happy. i heard about it from an office admin out
at our botany bay campus who is also doing that
feral-colony-management thing; she's helped me tons, and yesterday i
got two bags from *her* order, which helped.

ok...have to go...more later.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Happy Holiday Season...FROM JAIL!


It took longer to get him out cos the fucking jail had to go on lock-down (I'm going to 'splain more later), so I spent the WHOLE FUCKING NIGHT hanging out in jail.  Me.  ME.  

On the good side, ShaQuaNeeda The Guard in Central Booking and I are now pals.  

Kill me now.  

What was Harry arrested for?  You won't believe it.  It was a Contempt of Court charge for back-owed child support.  Yeah, for his 22 year old daughter.  Oh, wait -- it gets better:  Want to know how much?  $129.00.  Seriously.  One hundred and twenty-nine dollars.  I do not understand how that turns into a thousand, but...whatever.  And don't tell me 'no', because I *saw* the paperwork when I had to go pick up his girlfriend to get him out.  $129.00 = $1,000.00.  I gave him the receipt and I guess in theory if the order gets vacated, I get my money back (?).  I really have no clue.  I try to not hang out in JAIL.  


I have to teach all day today, and I am exhausted, so of course, I'm giving a test.

Oh, shut up; it'll be a nice one.


Monday, November 24, 2008

hello dad, i'm in jail!

you know the old was not was song?

i like it's nice!


i just paid 1k to spring harry's retarded ass. seriously. out of JAIL.
now i have to wait four to six hours for him to be processed and get
to leave.

now on to the 'and hilarity ensues' part.


Oh, you've heard it:

Friday, November 21, 2008

i'm tired.

almost done with all the Menu Foods claim-filing stuffs.

harry-the-human took my advice and involved the hospital ombudsman,
pt. advocate, or whomever. will be at a new neurologist's today.

today has not even started yet, my throat hurts, and i still have a
mountain of paperwork (job 1), an individual to 'manage' (job 2.5),
and crap to read (job 2). i am also considering whether or not i
should get squooshy's kidney function tested and file that against
Menu Foods, as well.

i need about five or ten clones. i could handle all of this if i had
five or ten clones.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Irony of Fate.

there is unspeakable perversity in listening to sleigh ride (puff
puff's favourite song) whilst feeling sad over losing harry-the-cat as
i am filing my claim forms with menu foods (due by monday) for
murdering my romeo.

not happy. really not happy at all.

i am tempted to start believing in a god just so i can kvetch about
how he poops all over me and my loved ones. right now would be an
example of pure fucking cruelty.


i am soooo tired of self-proclaimed open-minded people proselytising
that i have just deleted all my email from 1 november until today in
most of my email accounts. i have news for them: wanting everyone to
agree with you is not 'open-minded'. get over your damn self.

honestly; i have more politically-based bullshit email (or *had*,
rather) than i ever hope to see again in my lifetime, and it is not
just one group -- everyone seems to have gone batshit.

now for Other News:

Harry-the-Human was just let out...they say his seizures are not
epilepiform, and have packed him onto a plane after a little over
forty-eight hours of video eeg monitoring, which i feel is too short.

having evaluated, purchased, set up, and utilised two complete neuro
sensing suites, i most assuredly am so too qualified to hold this
opinion. so there.


so i had it out on the phone with one of the neurologists when Harry
asked her to phone me. she suggested -- after i pressed her for a
believable alternate dx -- that Harry has complex migraine. i had to
ask why, if she really believed that, would she take him off keppra,
and his other aed cold-turkey and send him home on depakote when
depakote alone has already been shown to be ineffective with Harry. i
suggested topamax (good general results with both epilepsy and
migraine), which he has not tried yet, and a step-down of his current
aeds (which is only common sense), and she vetoed those suggestions
for reasons she would not explain to me.

it is always easier to fuck with people when you can do it from a
distance, i have observed. did i mention that i have lost a heaping
helping of respect for this place?

this is ridiculous because, while Harry may well have absence-like
seizures as a result of complex migraine, he quite
assuredly-fucking-does also have epilepsy. the two *can* co-exist.
see, Harry had spinal meningitis when he was an infant in lebanon (his
father was military; he was conceived and born on base, is an American
of French-Italian descent, and...sigh...has the birth certificate to
prove it. sorry -- have to toss that in these days, it would seem),
and has two huge lesions in his brain as a result. i have personally
seen these lesions on mri. Harry had seizures as a child (his psycho
italian mother from sicily let the army doctors put Harry on
phenobarbitol and when he kept having seizures, she tried to have him
exorcised -- i am not kidding -- and when the priest refused, she
decided that meant Harry was faking, which is pretty talented for a
boy of six or seven, imho), and then the seizures stopped until he was
about thirty (although to hear him give his history, i have to wonder
if they didn't just express as partial seizures, because he has some
stupidities that are hallmarks of TLE throughout his life). i have
also personally witnessed Harry having both tonic-clonic and complex
partial seizures, and this 'migraine headache' this ladyneuro is
claiming Harry has has been understood as a common post-ictal headache
by three other neurologists. so *there*. in addition, Harry was
qualified through the epilepsy foundation as having epilepsy (after
eeg testing), then had a vagus nerve stimulator implanted with his
first neuro, which required further evidence of epileptiform activity,
then moved to another neurologist, who *further*tested him and used
those results to get him on disability, and Harry spent a year having
*those* tests challenged and re-done before he was finally put on the
disability dole. on top of all that, Harry had a partial seizure and
did something really stupid (too long to describe here), and instead
of getting arrested he was put in hospital and had YET MORE shit run,
which also showed artefacts from an epileptic seizure. lastly, *i* say
he has bloody fucking epilepsy based upon my observations and the
available evidence, and i am not wrong because i say so, so *there*.

and that is why i had to eat an ice-fucking-cold lunch, cos i was
arguing with this silly bint. i even fussed at her to take a stand one
way or the other -- if he has epilepsy, we need to keep him on his
meds and look at different combinations if the seizures aren't
controlled and he is not a candidate for surgery. if he is not
epileptic (snort), then we should step down his meds and gradually
withdraw them, replacing them with her beloved depakote (just shoot
me) and my suggsted topamax or an equivalent for when the depakote
turns out to be the same epic fail that it was before...but she would
not commit to any decision, which really made me angry. then, as if i
weren't rabid enough already, she starts in with trying to explain
that Harry is pickled and what i think are complex partial seizures is
really Harry being loopy cos the neuro before this current one put him
on valium and/or klonopin after i suggested Harry carry it with him
and use it when at work, etc., if he feels a seizure starting.

well, they actually ARE aeds, and they also help him from getting
panicky if he thinks he is about to have a fit. further, i am not a
motherfucking neurologist, i just study the brain, so what the fuck do
i know? i knew he was on a cocktail and still fitting, so the
second-most harmless thing i could think of that might help was
benzodiazepines, and his neurologist thought that was a good idea.

in case anyone is simply dying to know, the firstliest most harmless
thing i can think of would be magnesium, but valium is more effective.
so mystery solved.

anyway, so now starts a new battle, i guess. whee. i have to t

Monday, November 17, 2008

In case you are over it as well:

Got Harry to the airport last night, and he flew to this epilepsy thing, and he was able to wander around until he found the hospital and check himself in; he's off his meds, and as soon as they EEG'd him up, he starting having seizures, so he's been basically drunk-dialling me and texting me every few minutes, cos two minutes after he does it, he forgets that he did it, and phones me back again.  Oh, and, I am swamped in work, as in seriously drowning.

I cannot take a week of this.  Bwaah.  But I have plans:
How to Leave the Planet:
  1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it is very important that you get away as soon as possible.
  2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House—(202) 456-1414—to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
  3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
  4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
  5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it is vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

...and good-bye, Harry.

stick a fork in me, i'm done.

i need to be lesson-prepping, but am waiting to be picked up by
Harry-the-Human cos i promised him i'd take him to dinner before he
went into this hospital program for his epilepsy. he is extremely
nervous about it, and has been having increasingly frequent seizures.
this is an in-patient thing to see if he's a candidate for surgery,
and his neurologist thinks that he will be.

i am freezing, feel like hell, and am still sad over Harry-the-Cat; i
am trying to not let this show. i call foul on all this
holiday-ruining bullshit; next holiday season, i am docking points for
festivity interference. be warned.

Friday, November 14, 2008

goodnight, Harry.

Harry, my adopted outdoors cat with FeLV, had to be put down. He was a
wonderful cat, and whomever let him away from home is a real stinker.
He came to me already pretty old (per vet, minimum of eight years
old), FeLV-positive, and I kept him alive for three years and six
months, almost to the day. He showed up at my house just a day or so
after I found Squooshable, and I decided to not let him indoors until
he was tested for FeLV/FIV because of baby Squooshable, as well as my
other cats. By the time I got him tested (Squoosh's ear infection had
to come first), he'd made my front courtyard area his home, and since
he was away from other cats (both in my house and the neighbourhood),
I saw no reason to change that. I could find nowhere to re-home him,
and so I let him stay where he was, moving him into my garage (where
cats don't go) when the weather was too bad (my front door and
courtyard area is not open to the lawn and road, has covered parts,
and is a pretty roomy area; it's not like he was 100% out-of-doors,
and I brought him in during cat-questionable weather, like temps of 50
and below, and moderate-to-heavy storms). Harry had a nice life in my
courtyard; he was on antibiotics a few times, but was largely
ok-looking (for a leukemia-positive cat), and he mostly played and
sunned himself, and was doing pretty well until he figured out that I
was sneaking Benadryl into his Pill Pocket treats. After that, he
carried a sniffle with him, but was largely ok until today, when he
seemed to nosedive. I was at work when I got a text from a friend who
I'd asked to drop off some things at my house that said 'ur cat rly
bad, wht u wnt me 2do?'. I didn't know which cat (please don't type
emergencies in textspeak, kids), so I replied, 'vet xxx at yyy, now
now now', and tried to get everyone settled so I could leave
(naturally, this has to happen when I am doing a presentation). I sent
'which cat?' about four times before I got the answer 'wht n grey
1????'...which could only be Harry. I knew he had his hands full, so
as I left I sent, 'tell vet to do what's best asap, his call, i'm on
my way'. No more than ten minutes later, my phone chirped with the
message, 'tod 7:48'.

Ok, for personal edification, telling someone their cat just died by
text message is a little, ummm...

Wow; I am having a really hard time saying anything nice, so...

When I got there, I was told that Harry had been semi-conscious (for
the record, he'd appeared ok yesterday morning, and I'd planned on
taking him to my regular vet on Saturday about the sniffles getting
worse again), but seemed fairly happy; he had been purring after some
pain meds that he'd been given because palpating some mass in his
tummy seemed to hurt him. Since I'd said to do what's best (and my
friend told them I was stuck at work, *not* that I was on my way),
they had a tech hold and pet him until he started purring again and
seemed happy after the painkiller, then they euthanised him because Dr
Vet felt pretty certain the abdominal mass was probably cancerous, and
that Harry'd lost more weight than he may have appeared because the
abdominal mass was puffing him out a little to look almost normal, and
with FeLV there was no point in trying to forestall the inevitable and
putting the little guy through a surgery just to have to recover
(maybe) and then die anyway of FeLV or more tumours.

I am saddened that I did not get to say goodbye to Harry, but I guess
this was for the best in the end. I was kicking myself for not
noticing, and Dr Vet gave me the 'cats hide their illnesses' pep talk.
It sounds and feels like pablum, but I guess so. I really did try to
keep a good eye on him.

Probably Harry would have been better off with someone else,
but...there wasn't anyone. Even the FeLV-haven homes I kept hearing
about via the rescue people I know ended up being exaggerations, if
not absolute fiction. As for me, I did the best I could and still hold
down 2.5 jobs, school, and my own cats; I am sorry if it was not
enough, because Harry was a good cat. I am going to miss him. He was
so sweet, and had big, pretty snow-shoe sized paws.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

And the girl on blogger said, 'boy, I wanna warn ya, it'll turn into a tea room blitz'...

So I am luxuriating in our hide-away break room...

(that's the one with the flat-screen, full cable, 'puters, sodas, and whatnot that the Unwashed Masses cannot enter)

So I am in our break room at Job 2.71828182846, and a group of us are watching all the protests about all the ridiculous same-sex marriage shit.  I say ridiculous because WHO IN THE FUCK CARES (in a governmental/legislative sense) WHO YOU HAVE SEX WITH OR MARRY (provided they may reasonably consent).  Butsoanyway.  We're watching this on teh cebbles and one of our little group (which includes a couple gays and one lesbian) start talking about a similar protest that's coming right here to Happy Valley this weekend-ish. 

Because I am surrounded by friends, I raise my fist and shout, 'STONEWALL!  STONEWALL!  YEAH!!' because I'm a funny girl like that.  

I get blank stares.

'Stonewall, Stonewall, ' says our lesbian, 'I don't get it; what's Stonewall?'
'Gott in himmel,' I reply, 'what's Stonewall?  Do you kiss girls with that mouth?'

Sigh.  Please.  Chirrin.  Read.  I heard once somewhere that it's fundamental.  Srsly.  I also heard this thing about being doomed to repeat history, but I forget just how it goes...


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

she's being weird again

driving home tonight, i passed an off-campus group's activity thingy
-- an open-air movie. took all i had to go on home and not
stop; i need relaxation, and right now sitting out on a blanket
freezing my tuchas off and being mindless sounds like a ton of fun.


i am exhausted.


Read no further if you are planning on watching the WSOP final table, which is ended from about two hours ago.

I had originally wanted Mantovani, 'cos I am all ironical like that, but then I found this blogmuzak:  

My original choice below:

Congratulations, Peter Eastgate !  A good win, even though I was backing Demidov, for obvious reasons.  :-)  Just kidding -- I am happy for the winner, period.  

...though it would make my life easier in terms of ear-bending time were Meg to win it.  

Friday, November 07, 2008

Prepare for the conversion to DTV

I just got this as a forward, and all I can say is that this lady reminds me of Mom's friend Bella.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

I'm feeling much better.

end trans. 

Think Like You Vote -- Early and Often.

I am trying to stay out of political discussion, but...

*I* am now confused...why is anyone surprised? For those of you who actually fell for that 'Obama hates Jews' shite, it's time to change out the air in your head; hating Jews or not (and we don't know either way what goes on in a man's head, Friend; that's why we look at a man's actions, not his words), Barky has more powerful concerns. So...what's going on?

Three words: Chicago. Political. Machine.

Be Zen about it; it's not a good thing, it's not a bad thing -- it just *is*. Things, in some places, have always run this way; it is *a* way, as are many other ways. Perhaps this way will be better than Bush's way, which was...well...the EPIC FAIL way.

This is not a mystery to anyone but, apparently, ummm...well...

I hate to point fingers. We'll just act like this conversation never happened. You're clear on it all now, yes?

Hee...I call Sec'y of State will be R. J. Daley.

What? Dead you say? But...but...he just voted...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

yet more changes

all is well...i am watching the end of airplane (for rhe
eleventy-gillionth time) and listening to the relaxing sound of my
dishwasher. this rocks.

i haven't said anything so as to not jinx things, but my brother has a
big change coming, and we have all been very nervous and
bated-of-breath on his behalf; he has two huge hoops to clear, and,
well...we've just heard that he has cleared one of them. go, doofus.

neither one is easier -- today we heard that he was selected out of a
ton of applicants to a major american university/teaching hospital to
basically do research beginning in 2009 which will give him a sub-
sub-specialisation and this is really great, huge honour, and whatnot.
he annoys the hell out of me, but my brother is an exceptional
physician (as was my father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so
on), and anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight.


to take this position though, he has to be *allowed* to take it --
remember, he's still got a few years until our government lets him go.
every year, they will allow ONE person to leave for a special
appointment such as this, and the one person for this year (2009) was
selected a long time ago.

oh, it gets more intense.

for some reason, even though the whole one-person thing is carved in
stone, 2009's one person became *two*. so now we are waiting to hear
if he is the second one person for 2009 - whenever. if the answer is
no, he will have to try again in 2010, which sucks ass.

my sister is in a tizz because my brother is so financially retarded
it's sad; if he gets everything we've just gone over, he and famille
have to move to this hospital -- it is in another state. since he has
been in tx, he has been over-paying his mortgage (very dumb; one is
better off investing the extra money), and wants to sell the house.
meg thinks he should keep it as a rental property at this point
because of all he has put into the damned house. but that is just one
more family squabble which means nothing; all that will settle itself.
what we are worried over is clearing this whole one-person hurdle.


my mother is still celebrating a local election result with the other
panthers; they have been trying to get this sorry bastard unseated,
and i won't go so far as to say that it *worked*, but the gent did
lose the election, and that's good -- he was a crooked, creepy

you know -- like most politicians.



the day after

thank ceiling cat that it's over. i am still expressing no opinion, as
i do not care to be categorised as a 'kool-aid drinker' or a
'sexist/racist, ignorant conservative'.

i assure you that i am neither.

congratulations if your candidate(s) were victorious; this election
was a watershed event on many different fronts, and celebration is
most certainly in order.

if your candidate(s) were not, i offer that mccain's concession speech
was very dignified, heartfelt, and graceful; you should feel proud to
have supported such an honourable person.

again, thank ceiling cat that it is OVER.

my one moment of abject terror came out in botany bay as i caught the
tail end of a news report on the radio (it was actually the word
'panther' which snapped me out of my reverie) that said '...panthers
at the polling place, threatening and intimidating voters; one of the
panthers is said to be waving a nightstick, and, when asked by poll
workers to leave, refused. police are expected...'. tammany mommany?

now don't you know i about shit right there; i must have turned white
with shock -- i honestly heard ringing in my ears. i mean, last i
checked, voter intimidation was a pretty serious event. i was fumbling
for my cell phone to get a hold of meg and work out how we were going
to get ol' batshit tweed bailed out of jail (to hell with bella,
loonie, toonie, and sizzle chest) when they recapped and explained
that it was the *black* panthers, not the batshit-grey panthers.

sigh. so much for my mommy's dream of a grey panther political machine
here in happy valley. making the news would have made them happy.

so how was *your* day?

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

here's to the winners of the human race; here's to the losers in the game...

holy shit.

mummers phoned and woke me at just after four-fricking-ayem to ask if
i wanted to join her batshit-grey panther demonstration today, as if i
didn't have to do things like sleep and work; she's going to vote and
then yell at people with her friends bella, looney, toonie, and sizzle
chest. they've decided who to vote for and are mobilising.

after, she said they'll probably have lunch at olive garden.

if you have to vote at an old people place and some batshit woman
starts making with the haranguing at you, i am really sorry about
that; we have honestly been told that she doesn't need meds for this.
we've done our best.

plus, i think she and sizzle chest are doing that old-people dating
thing. be kind.

i am getting ready to leave; i woke up with another headache for the
third consecutive day, and i think i will phone harry and see if he
wants to meet me out in botany bay for dinner after my classes are
done. i was supposed to meet betty (unlike mommy & co., everyone else
i know voted ages ago), but she picked up an overtime shift at her
hospital 'cos i guess they're expecting all manner of fights and
injuries today.

don't worry -- mummers isn't armed, and the most dangerous thing in my
mommy's neighbourhood is my mommy.

i just hope she doesn't try to run anyone over.

i planned on being with betty -- and now harry -- because i figure
that i am going to subject myself to the least amount of stress if i
control my surroundings today. there will be no political discussions.
yay. plus, everyone else on my 'safe' list (i either know who they
voted for with certainty, or am 100% convinced of their sanity in that
even if their candidate were to start trailing, they would not start
screaming, raging, picking fights, and whatnot) is at their own work

mr squooshable wants me to mention that if anyone is still undecided,
they can write him in; he say if elected, he do good job. argh! on
enemy, purr for friend, and everyone gets all the dental floss they
can eat; that's his platform.

have a good day -- i am trying to do the same.

Monday, November 03, 2008

I am starting my own country

I am.  Rilly.  We're a monarchy, and there are NO elections allowed; anyone even *thinking* the word 'election' is subject to death
Something really bad.  Like death by election. 
I am watching The Chocolate News on the Comedy Channel, and to be honest, my stuck-up honkey ass found the opening monologue offensive.  Sigh...remote, pleez.
I am hurting especially because I am dividing myself across a few different environments that are different enough that the only way I win is by being neutral; I cannot believe the rabies some have this go-round. 
So enough about them, eh?
I am *so* looking forward to my drive tomorrow...I need the alone time.  Last week, I tried to take a picture of the *gorgeous* drive I have back, but the camera on my cell looked 'eh', so I tried to take a picture using my pda's camera, but the lighting was all wrong.  I need to get more 120 film and try to get some really decent pictures, but the truth is that I am probably just enjoying being ALONE so much that everything looks better than it is.  :-) 
I honestly never realised until this semester how extremely *un*-alone I am; I have people around me all the fricking time, unless I am at home, and I have a really hard time turning off then -- I always have tv, radio, whatever on, plus computer, IM, cell phone,and so on.  Ridonkulous. 
I've learnt a new word, see?  Ridonkulous.  I have one girl who is just so freaking *cute* -- she's Filipino, has a crush on this other guy in this class, and so she goes all out with the Baby Phat, the Juicy Couture, and the lipschmear; she's very *shiny*.  She smiles all the time, can speak Tagalog but doesn't want to in front of other people, wants to be a nurse, and she taught me ridonkulous.  I asked her what 'ridonkulous' meant, and was told -- and I quote -- 'it's like, donkey-ridiculous, man!'
I amn't certain if that is correct (part of her definition missing the more obvious mark of my gender, which raises concern), but we're going to run with that on this blog just because she's adorable.  :-D  Donkey-ridiculous. 
I have to get to sleep soon (the one thing that I do not like about my Tues/Thurs is that they start early and end late).  My *personal* recommendation for tomorrow is to take some kind of sedative, and go on a looong drive, listen to psychotics on the radio (one of whom may well be your mommy), and laugh your ass off. 
Well, that's what *I* am going to do. 

Stereotypes; enough already.


I cannot wait until this election is over; if I get told by ONE MORE PERSON who I am voting for (yes, told by them), I will not be responsible for what I do.  Seriously.

For what it's worth, the assumptions go both ways -- I typically am either voting McCain because I am white/a woman, or Obama because I am affiliated with a university/clearly liberal.  Whatever the reason given, it's always an oversimplification -- no way in hell could I actually be assessing something on its own merits, it would seem; no matter what I am doing, I am 'following the herd'.

Getting really tired of it over here...

Friday, October 31, 2008

LOOK! Mouldering Sanctums!

a/k/a 'I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, He's a Pepper, She's a Pepper, Only Madame Leota Ain't a Pepper, too'. ilu, Thurl Ravenscroft & Paul Frees!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

i am at peace...

even though i am making a list of places i want to go on the way home this semester; there's two restaurants near the bay -- one japanese, the other seafood -- that i soooo want to go visit. right now, i am pulled over to talk with a very irate travelling trainer for eviljob on my way home from teaching, cos i've lost my headset somewhere. i love my class, i really do. i love everything...even this neon-bedecked parking lot; the weather's freezing, and it is all just gorgeous. i am bathed in red and a little blue, and the tree lights are on. i am in love.

i love tree lights.

right now, i am in the 'uh-huh, uh-huh...hmmm' stage of the conversation. i cannot say that i blame...ummm...let's call her macy.

i love shopping (i've been reining it in for about a proud of me). i am late leaving ummm...this seaward town because i stopped to buy this cool, oriental-kitschy coat for meg. she'll look so cute in it that i cannot wait to give it to her.


ok, it's later. by the time i got home it was cold as hell. rhett butler is in a cuddly mood, as always. i stopped at this awesome chinese place by my home and picked up a shrimp broccoli combo -- huge-assed shrimp with broccoli, fried rice, egg drop soup, and an egg roll, so that was dinner...and lunch tomorrow. they are the best chinese food store ever; let's call them We Wok. hee. what i really wanted (besides the broccoli) was the egg drop soup...yum!

my house is so cold (don't fret; cats are warm) that i think all it needs is the smell of a christmas tree to be truly fabulous.

today went well even though i had a small problem with a paper that had been turned in to me for review, and i gave it a polite verso pollice...probably *too* polite, as i don't think the recipient of my message understood that the only alternate courses of action they have open to them are the wholly imaginary ones they have invented.

yep, yep...i am a bitch.

i have to get to sleep; tonight i am choosing to to this whilst freezing my tuchas off by my bay window, under my favourite patchwork quilt. not even my cats will come over; they have all retreated to warmer climes (my home is kept at 75 degrees-ish, it is just freezing where i am cos my window is old and needs to be re-weatherproofed. always something.


Ok...I broke down and played a little with my blog formatting 'cos I got bored. Now I have some stuff on the top, side, and bottom (check out Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert below!) that wasn't before, and I started a Twitter for this blog 'cos I had to start one for my real life, and I guess that means that le Facebook's to follow. Shoot me. If you had any idea how socially 'connected' I already am, you'd warn me off it. Rilly. As it stands, I have my cell on 24/7, I am on my PDA constantly (I even use it to check email at three in the morning when I wake up in a cold sweat, fearing that I have missed something...or finally go to sleep). I have a hard time simply turning *off*, which is stupid, because I miss things no matter how without-sleep I go.


I am so beyond all the Meg crap right now; I am focussing on that part about hoping she is safe. Sigh. I am also extremely entertained by GreyGooseCosmo's link to (credit for finding that one, w00t! Whomever you are voting for, it *is* funny)

I honestly was cracking up at work over that one almost as bad as the one Martini had a few months ago ... let me see if I can find it...

Ok...gonna add it once I post. Go listen to the Halloween station on the radio. :-D

my heart is drenched in ... erm, whine.

i just had another row with meg over doofer, the drunk. i am quickly
becoming very tired of all this.

months ago, before she even knew shithead existed, i'd taken halloween
off completely, as well as saturday; those who know me might wonder if
i'd had a stroke or some other crisis, cos i tend towards being a
little bit of a workaholic. it's ok; i can admit it. i've worked
through birthdays, halloween, short, the entirety of
my holiday season, even new year's eve and day.

but that DOESN'T mean that i want to.

so i take the days off, and she up-and-makes plans with blod, the wondertwit.

oh, hush; that may well be his halloween vampire name, one never knows.


so tonight, after she'd had me parked in a holding pattern for weeks
over what she wants to do (if she wants to do anything at all), meg
tells me she and blod are going to go do x, y, and z, and do i want to
come. and she's also invited this lesbian couple with whom meg and i
are both friends.

i'm sorry...bbq?

so i completely lost it, and told her to have a fabulous couples'
night out, cos i will be at work. once again, i have turned down more
casual invites to 'hang out' than i can recall offhand, as well as two
formal parties (three if one counts the immeditate 'no, thanks' i gave
the self-important jackass one at one of my jobs where the anal little
bastard hosting told everyone invited that his family (he and his wife
aren't authority enough, he has to drag his kids into it) is 'not
allowing any costume that requires shoes as part of the costume',
because he has 'extremely expensive carpeting, furniture, and
fixtures' -- these are quotes here -- and therefore will not allow
shoes indoors, or edibles in 'unapproved' areas...fuckaduck; why not
hold it elsewhere? why make people miserable? i begged off cos i know
me; i'd wear something witchy and dolman-like, and spend the whole
evening subtly spilling indian ink on everything in the house i could;
i am evil incarnate), and of the two guys i might take out, one i am
still in what i consider a very early stage (plus, he is a little
older, and i don't feel like finding out that he is a stick in the mud
just yet), and the other is at this point (1) leaning more towards
friend and (2) nice enough to not jerk around; i'd cleared halloween
to hang out with meg, and it is unfair to play 'red light / green
light' with the lives of others.

hear that, meg o' my heart?

so we fought, and i hung up on her, and went out into my garage to
smoke and do laundry (i only smoke when i am really upset anymore --
as i have been over this shite for about two weeks -- and i won't
smoke around my cats, but heavens, am i caught up on laundry!). after
i calmed down, i phoned her back and told her that i was sorry if i'd
not clearly detailed my intentions (she claims i'd told her i might be
working, where i claim she's completely batshit and making up
conversations to suit her own agenda), and to have a great time. i so
completely observed, and tried to bring her 'round via socratic
enquiry, that she is *not* going to her dean's special-invite party
along with her b-f-fucking-f sabra and a few others in her department
cos she cannot bring blod the wondertwit; she would spend the evening
having conniption fits cos blod would get roaring drunk, pee in the
pool, and try to hump the dog. meg learnt nothing. the socratic method
sucks ass, qed.

i just hope she doesn't let the stinking-drunk bastard drive; losing
my favourite sister on halloween would really ruin my holiday season,
and i don't let ANYTHING ruin my holiday season. seriously; you have
NO idea. all the worst things in my LIFE have happened during *my*
fucking holiday season, and I WILL NOT LET BASTARDS GET ME DOWN!

someday i may go into it, but not now; for now, you will have to trust
me that i have been to hell and back, and for some reason, it ONLY
happens during the holiday season.

and no, not cos there's so damned much of it; shut the fuck up.


as i was saying, so now i not only lose out on *having* a halloween
this year (once again), but now i have to worry about meg's safety,
and according to my family, *i* am the irresponsible one.


all that i wanted was a fucking haunted shed and cider, but that is
too much to ask, it would seem. *and* i have to teach tomorrow, and
i'll have no sleep.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Another Victim of the Media Drive-By


After reading this last night, I pull up my 'puter and see my news for this morning, and I realise that this article about the election does not even begin to cover what my mother (and her friends) will tell you is 'the *real* story'.  I haven't had the time to list off her kooky ideas (and actually try to not talk with her about them, because she's nuts), but...they're there.  For example, without getting into names, one of them killed a gay guy, and the other one had a 5.5 year-long secret meeting with Pol Pot (or whomever) to work out World Domination.  

I guess plans like that take a long time.  

I think we can thank a combination of cable news channels, radio talk shows, and old ladies misinterpreting most everything they hear, and then further misremembering what it was they had misinterpreted.  

My mother, the conspiracy theorist.  Sigh.  

Monday, October 27, 2008


Gah...I have it bad.  I have, yet again, left tons of things to the last minute.  pfft.  I cause all this stress *for* myself.  I know I do.  

But I am really looking forward to travelling tomorrow; makes it all worth it, truly.  


In Other News, I love ducks; ducks are cool.  

Sunday, October 26, 2008


I seem to have upset a few people with my last post.  Hey, I live to annoy; I only rarely get the opportunity away from here.  I would like to mention though -- I at no time mentioned SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS as being the differentiator between me and thee, as it were.  

No, no...actually what I said was that I (and my sister, as well as my family, most all my friends, and so forth) are better than the type of person who is a selfish, self-serving, lazy, irresponsible alcoholic with a documented, undebateable history of drunken driving.  I stand by that statement; we may all start off 'equal' from birth, but our actions from that point certainly do sharply differentiate us's this little thing called PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.  Guess what?  That rewards the people who behave and make good with themselves.  *My* system works better than others where everyone stays 'equal' regardless of their actions and personal choices.  

Allow me to further entertain with a brief list of other 'types' who have less value than myself:  

1) Child abusers/molesters
2) People who hurt or neglect animals
3) People who hurt/neglect/take advantage of the elderly
4) Spree killers
5) Serial killers
6) Gang-bangers
7) People who destroy things just to destroy them
8) Pathological liars
9) Thieves
10) Most criminals
11) Many politicians
12) ANYONE who allows their selfish fun to injure others (e.g., DUIs, peer pressure, etc...)
13) People who commit hate crimes (yeah, that's as opposed to the 'ilu crimes', smartass)
14) Spouse/partner abusers
15) Rapists
16) People who could do something to help in this world and choose not to because it is inconvenient

I could go on, but I am getting bored.  I may re-post my original post; I could also post my post where I got all medieval on some hineys, and I may still, but the one thing that I will not do is allow the misconception to continue that I said something that was 'snotty'.  This has nothing to do with 'snot', nothing to do with SES, and everything to do with MORALITY.  We're aiming for stages five or six here; feel free to work on that.  

And stop kvetching.  If you really think that I suck, consider this dismaying observation: this blog has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course, there's always my way:


Monday, October 20, 2008

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Can't we all just get along?

This would be funny, had it not been made a black/white issue; I am not embedding it cos I find the pic a little offensive, but it's audio only:

The bottom line is that most people are dumb as a box of rocks and have no business voting, anyway. Harlem, Beverly doesn't matter.  
Stupid, stupid, stupid. If one does not know by now who our VP candidates are, they deserve what they get. Freaking ridiculous.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Some of Our Food Friends Should Never Meet

Ok...when I am lax on the capital letters, it's usually 'cos I am on my PDA and being lazy.  :-D  

Still no word on the issues at Eviljob.  Sigh.  I hate suspense.  

In Other News, I think I've made myself sick from eating dolmades and grapefruit for dinner.  I am a moron.  

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


i'm watching the presidential debate...why, i don't know -- but i am.

well, actually, it's peer pressure; everyone i know is totally
enthralled by this election.

pfft. as for me, i am dying to see what assclowns will be running four
years from now. seriously; i predict that it will be bad.

maybe i'll run and name squooshable as my veep.

i don't pay attention to much -- i do not care to, as i am quite
certain as to who will be our next president, enough that i've placed
a bet, cos i might as well make some money from all the stew-pit i am
having to endure -- but i really thought i'd heard they were going to
be kept on topic during this debate. guess not. oh, well.

and now it's over, and neither of those bastiges supersized with me
over my having run out of french fries and burrito coverings. they're
not in touch with the people. everyone's so god damned dumb, and we're
all in a handbasket headed for hell. we should all write in camacho.
or andrew, the pink feathered boa doughnut.

andrew cares about the garbage ambulanches.

who won? no one. who lost? the american people. who cares? personne.
we live in a country where political commentators can pronounce
'nicolas sarkozy' with proper inflection because they've been coached,
yet stumble over 'maelstrom' cos they're thisclose to being
functionally illiterate. let me off; i want my money back.

i am watching travel channel now, as i type and supersize (see, *i*
know how to supersize) with a friend from work who doesn't understand
what's so funny about electing andrew, the top pot pink feathered boa
doughnut for president. i, on the other hand, am laughing so hard that
i'm teary-eyed.

and you know, were i a program director at the travel channel, i'd run
political stuff like the debates in place of america's most scary
halloween destinations...but that is cos i am just nasty like that.

oh my god, i swear i only laugh constantly and feel superior every
four's political pon farr. rilly.

we had a little drama at eviljob today; after i left job 1, i got a
strange text message, and by the time i made it to eviljob, two
managers in my department had been told to go home for the day because
they were creating a 'hostile work environment' for one of my
co-workers who is, frankly, nuts.

seems they'd been discussing where to go over a free weekend during an
upcoming travelling stint, and when nutter went to put their two cents
in, nutter was told they weren't invited unless they wanted to pay for
themselves. nutter then went to human resources and filed a complaint.

see, eviljob offers some extra money to managers who travel to train
-- it's just a little perq to encourage management-level trainers to
not sit on their tuchas and whatnot. so all the two managers were
saying is that nutter would be paying their own way, with no subsidy
from eviljob. considering that what they're planning is a tad pricey,
a rational person would have been grateful for the heads-up...i mean,
i know *i* would appreciate the reminder that my mouth is about to
commit me to a $500-plus layout over one weekend, even if the reminder
was sent to me in the final form of a *forwarded* email which hadn't
had the back-and-forth between the two managers (where they both
agreed that, could nutter not afford it, neither one was willing to
pick up any of the tab) deleted. a little rude, sure. stupid?
certainly. tacky? without a doubt. hostile? no -- hostile would have
been not being reminded at all, assuming one knew, and then demanding
the missing third of the money after it is too late to back out. THAT
is 'hostile'. even if it *did* mean management doesn't want to
fraternise with nutter during down time, considering the price tag,
were it to have been done to me, i would not have thought it was so
awful. why would one want to pay so much to be around people that are
not friends?

i work with crazies.

so tomorrow, i've managed to commit myself to another 48-hour 24-hour
day; i start early, and finish way-late. but at least i'll have an
update on the eviljob drama -- all our travelling people are supposed
to be leaving soon.

the suck part of this is that i adore my current manager, and she'll
be gone over halloween, and here i was planning on having fun at
eviljob this year. poop.

i am hoping there won't *be* a 'next year' at eviljob; i am really
hoping that this time next year, i will be readying to move for a
different job. i hope, i hope, i hope... i guess we shall see.

tomorrow just *has* to be better.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

you're lucky, he's lucky, i'm lucky, WE'RE ALL LUCKY!

...sorry, it's been a long, but fantastic, week.

mom's home and ok; stent appears to be working well. took her fricking
cats, arby and sweetie. thank you, jeezy creezy; arby hates me, and
sweetie is totally, spastically batshit -- she can't even chase her
tail; she attacks her own leg instead. apropos of nothing, she'll jump
up and start, even if it makes her fall off the bed or sofa.

i had never heard of such a thing until SHFTB mentioned *her* cat that
did that; thank CC that was before i rescued sweetie and mummers fell
in love with her, else i'd have taken the cat to the vet for
seizures...or at least a psych eval.

meg is a pain in my ass. i'll have to post more about this later, but
basically she started flirting with this guy -- he's totally non
meg-material, but i think she did it just cos she can, got bored,
loves the way he adores her, or, d, all of the above. barfy. anyway,
as a result, i'm not going out carousing friday eves any longer with
them, cos i hate drama, he's immature as hell (and only a shade of a
personality meg and i were both fond of years ago), and meg has
enraged this porky girl (i am just being cruel cos i hate all the
drama soooooooo much) who apparently thought she had mr wonderf...not
in her sights before meg came around.

i have decided that i like being alone. alone with my cats, of course.

the speuterfest went AWESOMELY -- all the boys and girls are now R'd
(as in TNR), and appear to be ok. this time, i lost NONE to FIV/FeLV
testing. yay. and breakfast is a cutie-pie with her tipped right ear;
after she escaped from the trap during a round up last year, i thought
i'd never catch her again. w00t!

speaking of being alone, be happy for me; harry drove out to meet me
for dinner after class (an hour and a half), we had a really nice
dinner (gorgeous restaurant, one of my all-time favourites -- tiered
seating, and just fun and pretty), and got to play ntn for a few
hours, and harry even paid his half. then i drove back alone and had
one of the most enjoyable, peaceful drives ever. cleaning out my car
last week, i'd come across numan's pure cd that's been lost under my
passenger seat for a good two-to-four years (i kid you not), and
listened to it on the way back, and honestly felt as if i were
rediscovering a musical facet (which, sarcasto-cynically, i suppose i
have, as much as any archaeological dig through my car might afford;
i'm still missing some of my cds from the eighties...glove box here i
come!) it's been a perfect evening. perfect, perfect, perfect.

even my late-afternoon class was charmed; i like the little snowflakes
in there -- they're smart (mostly) and well-behaved -- so i gave an
intro to geo. k. and his paradigm, then showed a film and gave them a
writing assignment on it. i was surprised that many of them had never
seen the film. next time, i'm bringing candy; they're so cute. it may
sound cop-outty, but i've found that well-selected films are fun and
can really illustrate the point -- get them to think. i just have to
be careful of colourful language. sigh.

since when does the word 'twat' find its way into a pg movie? sigh.


i feel as if something hugely horrible should be happening. seriously.
instead, everything is *so* fantastic!

and i have pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies here at home as well as the
pillsbury (?) halloween cat cookies that meg and i have nicknamed 'fat
little cookies' after *my* cookie (rhett butler's sister, remember?
she severed a nerve in my finger when i trapped her in 2006?), the fat
little halloween cat.

and i have been lax in talking about just how wonderful my fat little
cookie is...she is adorable! she's such a halloween cat -- even does
little halloween cat poses and has a voice that is, whilst unpleasant,
uniquely-suited to halloween -- it honestly sounds like those cat
sound effects on tv. oh, and she really likes to watch star wars --
all of them.

no, i'm serious: cookie watches star wars. maybe she has a crush on
chewbacca, maybe she wants to be princess cookie; i don't know why,
but she does. she also tries to chase news/stock tickers on the bottom
of tv screens. go figure. i have to read them with cookie paws all
over them.

life is good. :-)

Monday, October 06, 2008



Arby has her second dose of steroids, Mummers is having to have a PIC line cos she's run out of veins (Meg is with her, bless her), I am EXHAUSTED, and I still have to figure out what I am teaching tomorrow.  And my back hurts.  A lot.

This is one of those 'I feel as if I may never sleep again' times.

ceiling cat, you're not funny.

My mommy is being kept another day so that she can get blood, iron, and have some GI scope that she didn't get the other day.  Bwaah.  

In Other News, I'm caring for my mother's cats (naturally), and one of them (Arby) popped up this morning with what I thought was a broken paw, but it turns out is only a sprained paw (how?!?!?).  So I had to beg Meg to run over here and get her to the vet's on her way to teach, I picked the cat up, and she's on steroids now.  I have never, *ever* known of a sprained-pawed cat, so I have no idea if this is normal or not.  I don't know what else I can do though, cos with my schedule I'm going to be killing myself to dose her appropriately as it is -- it's all tricky; there's a quarter of a pill two times per day for three days, then once a day for three days, then once every other day for six days, or somesuch.  

Of course, I cannot tell Mom anything about this; it would upset her too much.  

The vet didn't say anything about restricting her movement, so I haven't.  I guess if the swelling doesn't go down soon, I'll know that was a bad choice and take her back on Wednesday.  

How in the hell does a cat sprain their paw?  Hmmm?

Sunday, October 05, 2008

visiting mummers

her blood sugar tanked last night, i got into an all-out with her
idiot nurse (the one who gave my npo'd mommy insulin when i was away
and then left her for four hours), and had to demand a new nurse,
something i've never had to do before, but when i phoned my father
today, he said i'd been right, that he'd had a similar-but-worse
situation one morning when he was called to his hospital early for an
elderly patient who'd been left to lapse into a diabetic coma
overnight. sad.


i'm back home now and have to prep lessons and watch true blood. :-D
and feel sorry for myself cos i'm exhausted.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

still no mommy

they're still holding mummers because her creatinine and potassium are
both high, so i went after work to stay with her and see if they'd be
willing to slip a little bicarb and magnesium her way, seeing as how
the nephrology pa (pa!) never even BOTHERED TO ASK about recent
diarrhoea (mommy has ibd), so i had to throw a fit, and what made me
angriest was when mom phoned my god damned brother (whom i forgot to
tell that she'd been admitted...oh, shut up; i stay *so* busy) to get
*him* to tell me i was wrong (he didn't, ha ha) after i'd raged a hole
in her pa and nurses eardrums and gotten her nurse to phone either
mummers' internist or nephrologist (i forget) to get abgs run cos i
started yelling when no one had her blood ph. ridiculous.

i am so sleepy. :-(

*now* i remember...

...why i do not go out drinking with friends:

it is, ultimately, a depressing and pointless wallet suck. i think i
won't be doing that again; i have had no sleep, i have to make up a
ton of work at eviljob, and i am bordering on being profoundly
depressed after last night. adding to this is that mom is being kept
at the vet because her creatinine is a touch high (i told her romeo
went through the same thing, and that we'll probably have to put her
to sleep).

i am depressed.

Friday, October 03, 2008

serenity prayer on a friday night out with the girls

o hai. ceiling cat, grant me the strength to not have too many
jalapeno poppers to accompany my rum and cokes, the wisdom to not give
myself brain damage from rolling my eyes too far or frequently up into
my head at the drunken lout attempting to gain my favour, and the
intestinal fortitude to not blow chunks whilst some in my party
engange in behaviour with which i disagree, even when this behaviour
includes abstaining from eating and bathrooming activities so as to
impress the inebriated hyena drooling 140-proof onto her cleavage with
how 'dainty' and/or 'feminine' she is, for, verily, although the
over/under on aforementioned hyena's current possession of a valid
driving licence is not looking all that swell for him right now, and
not even an act of congress would get *me* near that crotch (no pun
intended, cc; i know you hiss at teh prayerz punz), not all womenfolk
were created by you to have the same standards, and further, hyena is
entitled to chase after whatever presents itself to be chased, no
matter how ill-advised that presentation may be. but we've already
covered that.

oh, and -- grant me the creativity to come up with a good reason why i
stepped out, cos i don't really smoke anymore and have no cigarettes,
and therefore won't go back in smelling of smoke.