Sunday, July 25, 2010

Four legs good...

One of the things that bothers me the most about this 'having a dying mom' thing is getting all the loose ends tied, titles, and so forth. Makes me want to just let the state have it all.

In Other News, Butler II is letting me pet him now. And I am tired and depressed.

Mom's 'avoidance behaviors' are going to be the death of me. She tries to get out of chemo app'ts, and we even had the hospital suggest *not* letting her drive herself (we aren't anyway) because pts like her will cancel app'ts and so forth.

Anyway, I'm watching True Blood. More later.

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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Still tarred.

Ok, so I finished and submitted. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I need a hug. :-/

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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Well, then.

Okay, so I am -- almost -- finished. I am going to take a nap, though. This has been hellish; I have someone involved in this project who seems to be hell-bent upon proving their worthlessness. I feel as if I am trudging up a wintry mountain, dragging a dead body behind me. I know that I sound melodramatic, but frankly, at this point I *feel* melodramatic. Let the take-away message here be to NEVER work with fuckheads. Before you can get the words 'this should be easy' out, they'll have sucked you into their Borderline Personality Disorder maelstrom, and you will find yourself sobbing away on your bedroom floor, blowing your nose on the cat, and saying 'why me?' as you type eleventy thousand pages of utter shite, because this was not supposed to be something you did all alone, with no feedback.

Just trust me.

I don't like this app, but at least I can sorta use it. And it was, like, a dollar or something. For the record, I am currently straddling three devices, just 'cos 'complicated' is how I roll. And I would wish that it was Winter, but that'll mean my mother will probably be sicker, so...I don't. I think her haemoglobin is low again, I guess that means another transfusion on Tuesday. Last week she took two units, and just even thinking about it is depressing. Her breast is not healing well, Meg and I are changing bandages multiple times a day, the house smells, but it is nothing that can be fixed. At least not quickly. We are following the wound care specialist's instructions, and at least the profuse bleeding has stopped. Now all the necrotic tissue has to slough off of its own accord, and the only thing we can really do is use Enzymatic Rain to control the smell, god damn her lazy fuck of an oncologist.

Sorry...I am tired. Very tired. And lonely.


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I am so tired and lonely...sigh. I am writing this huge thing, and it is terrible. I will get around to taking this private, just as soon as I lift my self-imposed moratorium on getting on the Intarwebz for screwing around. I have cut off all chat, all anything, save wandering onto facebook (they don't deserve the majuscule) to keep up in that damned vampire game. Oh, and I have a headache. And I HATE this one person I work with, but I cannot go into it here. Let it suffice to say that even though I use the word 'hate' a lot, I do not *actually* hate most anyone. Well, I HATE this person, and I hope they die. So hmph.

Ok...back to work. :-/

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Sunday, July 11, 2010


I just got in from what Meg would call wildcatting about...more on this later. In the meantime, on Thursday, when I was feeding the ferals at Eviljob, in addition to seeing Butler 2: Electric Butleroo (who has let me pet him!), I saw...

Are you ready for this?

Oscar, Rhett Butler's real brother. It has been a LONG time since I have seen YEARS. I posted a pic of Oscar when he was trapped and neutered, and my heart simply *sang* when I saw his fuzzy face. So yay.

I tried to post via email on Monday, but I screwed up the email address, so I have included it below. I have a project due Monday now, and I'll be killing myself to get it finished today. For now, I have to sleep for a while. So until later...hugs. I mean it, whomever you are. Life is too short to not allow yourself a little love and happiness. G'night.


Here's the post from Monday:

I just found out that my great aunt died. This is sad because even though she was ninety-five, I did love her, and I wanted to see her again. But she had a bad fall at her home, and her heart stopped twice in the emergency room, then it stopped a final time after her nurse left to go back home to get her living will, or whatever it is that says whether one wants to be revived or not.

And my piece-of-crap evangelist cousin is in charge of her estate. I cannot *believe* he is such a vulture, but he has done it to other members of our family...I think he scares them, frankly. I mean into thinking about their salvation and crap. I hate him. I think that the only reason he is not ingratiating himself in with mom is because she has three children, where others in our family often haven't anyone in close physical proximity.

Oh, did I say that I hate him?

I have to get back to work, far, 2010 is sucking ass.