Monday, June 30, 2008

ok...I am better.

No, rilly.  Things will get better.  I had a little bit of upheaval a few months ago, and am still, well, acclimating.  I had to make a decision over whether I wanted to stay doing what I have been doing, research-wise, in which case I needed to make it my career, or forge ahead and aim for doing what I *want* to do, which is not doing Job 2 stuff.  So I have occasional freak-outs.  Hopefully, they will pass.  Eventually. 

In better news, this means that I am back on track, after a small delay that actually was a decent CV-builder.  So yay.  I...well...

I hate transitions.  HATE transitions. 

I like things when they are comfortable, predictable...and even if there's a little upset in there, it's expected upset.  Mostly.  On the other hand, as I have once again demonstrated, I have no problem with 'pulling the trigger', as it were.  Now I just have to deal with the residual fear stuff. 

And I have to admit, my department has been more than accommodating; I have had some very nice assignments and opportunities.  If they wanted to be bitter, or petty, this was the prime opportunity...but they haven't been.  Considering that I ditched a position similar to those that have waylaid others, I guess someone has to have an appreciation of what I am going through.  Not that I have an easy time of discussing it; no one wants to hear my kvetching, I know. 

I am also getting a few clinical classes, which adds to my diversity, and that is good; I could only hope to add pure Philosophy classes (as in different department), and that is not going to happen in the immediate future.  I've had a few comments about being out of my element with the Clinical aspect, to which I can only say that were the day-to-day not so fucking boring, I might have actually gone that route; I'm like god (were there to be a god, that is) -- I love people, and am fascinated by them...from a distance.  But seriously, as a child, I read straight clinical/psychiatry (from the Freuds to Minski's; the theorists were Mummers' contribution, and the DSM/Minski's and so on was my father's).  It's all actually quite fascinating, done properly...which is something in which most snowflakes aren't the least bit interested.  Or me either, in a day-to-day sense.  zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. back to the present. 

I am ok with the clinical, ok with the personality, ok with the cognitive, ok with all the general/basic/intro (natch).  I am just not thrilled at the moment, because of the ginormous cut in pay, but I had to do it.  It had to be done, and I put it all off for as long as I could. 

I am actually doing well at conserving, and am cutting corners all over.  Yay.  It just sucks.  And what sucks more is that my recruitment pool for our current studies is now 100% volunteer, as opposed to the compelled volunteering I enjoyed at Job 2 (or, as I called it, 'compelled-ly volunteering'; it sounds so much nicer than 'Soviet Volunteer System').  I am revisiting my dream of importing from Romanian orphanages. 


I have to get to sleep. 


I am going to have trouble sleeping...i just know it. rhett is better,
everyone is fine, meg is doing well, and mummers is finally back from
san antonio. where she's been living with my brother, but i am
stressed. my finances are kicking my ass, and i have a couple
additional problems, in addition to my having a minor tiff with my
father on saturday. pardon the typing, by the way; i'm using the
blackjack harry gave me for xmas, and it's inconvenient to be all
correct about it. i'm still not accustomed to the thing, being
acclimated to my old, trusty nokia. sigh. but my mind is on an
escapist bent right now, and it is torture to accompany it down some
of these 'if only' avenues. i guess the short of it is that i have
seriously fucked up in a few major ways...putting my research ahead of
my program, not tending to my money, not committing to a course of
action...sigh. this will all be sorted out by least most
of it. but it's the til then part that is really hellish. until fairly
recently, i had three jobs; when something came up that i can't go
into here that threatened this Life I Am Working Towards Thing, i quit
job2. had i stayed, i would not have been able to do anything else
with my life. the suck part of this is that i was too naive to see it
coming. job 2 has a long history of sucking talent away, and i just
didn't see it. sigh. so that cut a huge chunk out of my income, but
will be worth it in the long run. it freed me up to take on more
classes, but...i am nervous. and i need to get some sleep. sigh.
that's all i can say: sigh.

Friday, June 27, 2008

More cat zitz

Yes, this is my life. Finally my special topics class is ended, so I
now can kvetch in a general way about how my Snowflakes are (were)
retarded. Well, many of them; I had a few good ones, incuding one
foreign guy (I think he is Iranian) who got EVERYTHING perfect. Even
had brilliant and insightful comments during discussions. I think he
was a mole for CMU, or something. ;-) I am enlisted to have a go at it
again in an upcoming semester, so I guess this change was
successful...either that, or no one else wants it, which is probably
the *actual* case.

The 'Snowflake' appellation comes from our previous semester, when I
was (tag) team teaching with one of my favourite's
actually her nickname for them (from Fight Club, of course), and I am
thefting it.

Yes, I finally have a friend other than Betty. Yes, I am slow to warm.
VERY slow to warm. I guess I come off as a cold and unfriendly
bitch...who'd 'a thunkit?


I have to get to sleep, but Rhett's pimples are largely gone, thanks
to Doc's prescription (sans office visit, tyvm) of doxycycline, half a
tablet twice a day. And Rhett is *so* good about taking pills! He even
lets me stick my finger in his mouth to drop it WAY in the back. I
think he likes the extra food I have to feed him to prevent stomach
upset...sigh. We have to work on his weight problem later.

Ok...I had wanted to get more written, but...I am tired. G'night.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

You're fat, you've got zitz, and you're way too attached to your mom.

Sigh. Rhett Butler has turned up with cat pimples on his chin.

He's at that 'awkward' stage, I guess.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Dear Humanity,

When you use the words 'Tex', 'Texas', 'Texan', and permutations
thereof as in the following sentence:

I'll Tex you after he Texas me so that we aren't running around, Texan
everyone about this issue.

You sound damned silly.

Furthermore, when you then add in home-made variations such as
'Texases' (e.g., 'none of your Texases made any sense'), you make me
want to cry. Especially when you further slur, and it actually sounds
as if you are saying 'Tessases'. I feel as if I've been dropped in the
middle of a Phil Hendrie skit.

Please stop doing this. Thank you.


Sunday, June 22, 2008

St. Meg of Elsewhere

Meg just hung up on me cos I was snoring (she says). She's in Vegas,
and missed out in participating in her (if memory serves) $1500 NL
satellite whatnot cos she was being traumatised by issues with the
condo she'd rented for the time she's there. She went with renting and
not buying, and is now fit to be tied. The rental place was (despite
being located in a pretty nice area) infested with grossness,

please don't barf

Bed bugs. Yes, *bed bugs*. As it turned out, the property owner never
sprayed before. And couldn't refund Meg's money (after over a week of
Meg trying to work with her) cos she's spent it. So Meg agreed to
Property Owner's offer to put her up 'elsewhere' until a different
condo opens up.

Turns out, one should ALWAYS seek clarification of where 'elsewhere'
is. In this case, it is an 'extended stay' place. Meg said she did not
know where the PO was booking until it was a done deal. There are a
few of these places in LV, and Meg said the one on Tropicana is a shit
hole; the one she's in (per her) is not Tropicana-bad, but it's icky.
So I stayed on the phone with her as she unloaded her stuff and got in
the room, and since she's feeling crappy, I let her fall asleep with
her cell charging & on speakerphone, so I could make sure no one
burgled my sister. Then she hung up on me cos I was snoring, according
to her text.

There is nothing she can do about this (without further outlay of
money) until Monday; she wants to try again with PO, to tell them the
temp place is unacceptable, where I want her to find an attorney.
Seriously. She was so upset tonight that she was crying, and Meg NEVER
cries. But getting screwed out of several thousand (not to mention
being completely squicked-out, plus missing play time) and stuffed in
a fleabag'll do that to you, I guess.

I hate not being able to do anything. :-/

In Other News, my finances are sucking...I will have to explain all
about my job upheaval(s) in a bit...right now, I am tired. And I went
to another APL event, and this time brought Harry, who seemed to like
it, but was pulled over whilst leaving and given a ticket for being an
idiot. Well, that should be a ticketable offence.


If my money weren't so crippled, I'd have loved to have joined Meg for
at least a bit, and especially now, when I could at least make sure
she's ok. Or at least do all the running around shite *for* her, and
free her up to go do her pokerstuffs.

ok...i am going to try to go back to sleep now. :-/

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sumer is isukkin tyme

Sumer is icumin in
lhude mrrp the Squoosh
groweth sed and bloweth med
and boonce yon bunny tooshe

Monday, June 16, 2008

I am not pregnant...

...but there is nothing I would rather eat right now than a salami and
swiss on rye (hard salami, swiss with an attitude, and deli mustard)
with a taro boba tea.

As any serious student of nutrition can tell, clearly I am running low
in nitrates and purple, two of the fundamental components of the Food
Limacon ( can cedille on this keyboard). no screwing around
with a limacon covers tastes, preservatives, and colours.
It is so way much easier. Rilly.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I'm an amateur...

I have been ok...just ok. I am buried in work on all sides. Meg's
long-left, taking a sabbatical guessed it...Vegas. The funny
part of this is that she's got a partner in crime now in the form of a
Minime (or MiniMeg, rather). I like MiniMeg. I'll have to explain
MiniMeg later.

As for myself, I am abandoned. I'm out of Eviljob early, and in honour
of Meg running off and forgetting I exist, I am currently driving to
an Amateur Poker League event. On my own. Sort-of. I've not been
before; Meg doesn't 'do' APL -- it's a MiniMeg thing, and maybe a me
thing. So let's hope it's fun. I'm driving up to where Meg teaches and
MiniMeg lives. I could do it locally, I guess I'm
co-dependent. Or something.

Monday, June 02, 2008

be nice and get smarter

This is very cool:
In Other News, I feel horrible -- seriously bad.  It's this damned virus that I cannot seem to shake, and it is making my life hell...I feel as if I could sleep for a week.  Literally. 
Oh, and...I smashed the crap out of my little toe.  Again.  At this point, I probably don't have an actual *bone* in my little toe, just like, bone chips and mush.  Ok, I'm being gross and wallowing in self-pity. 
I will be so, so glad once this one class is over -- it's the intensive advanced one, and it sucks.  I would love to be kvetching, but it will have to wait another few weeks.  I long for rest, though.  Honestly.  This is one of those times where one has to honestly wonder how much exhaustion a body can take.  Poor Rhett Butler (most co-dependent cat on Earth) wants me to hug him and go to sleep, and I have to keep trying to explain to him that I can't...not right now.  Poor baby.
ok...back to work.  At least the good part of this is that at the end of all this, I have one cool-as-hell class designed.  That part rocks.