pfft

I am going to have trouble sleeping...i just know it. rhett is better,
everyone is fine, meg is doing well, and mummers is finally back from
san antonio. where she's been living with my brother, but i am
stressed. my finances are kicking my ass, and i have a couple
additional problems, in addition to my having a minor tiff with my
father on saturday. pardon the typing, by the way; i'm using the
blackjack harry gave me for xmas, and it's inconvenient to be all
correct about it. i'm still not accustomed to the thing, being
acclimated to my old, trusty nokia. sigh. but my mind is on an
escapist bent right now, and it is torture to accompany it down some
of these 'if only' avenues. i guess the short of it is that i have
seriously fucked up in a few major ways...putting my research ahead of
my program, not tending to my money, not committing to a course of
action...sigh. this will all be sorted out by spring...at least most
of it. but it's the til then part that is really hellish. until fairly
recently, i had three jobs; when something came up that i can't go
into here that threatened this Life I Am Working Towards Thing, i quit
job2. had i stayed, i would not have been able to do anything else
with my life. the suck part of this is that i was too naive to see it
coming. job 2 has a long history of sucking talent away, and i just
didn't see it. sigh. so that cut a huge chunk out of my income, but
will be worth it in the long run. it freed me up to take on more
classes, but...i am nervous. and i need to get some sleep. sigh.
that's all i can say: sigh.