Sunday, June 27, 2010


I have been away with...complications.

Don't panic; I'm fine. Physically, that is.

As if everything else in my life weren't enough already, i am adding to it. And i need someone to talk to, so i may be taking this blog private for a bit. If you are an interested party, let me know what email addess you'd be logging into Blogger on, and I will include you. If you have been silently following, that's cool, and I admire your tenacity, as I have been a tich on the boring side for a while...ever since I had a little oopsie at Job 1, which I will be more than happy to talk about...later.

In Other News, Mummers is still terminal. Film at eleven.

I am just dying to tell you what I did today. Simply *dying*.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I can't sleep.

 The Project Gutenberg eBook of 2 B R 0 2 B, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 


Had Mummers' all-day chemo eval, and i am *tired*. She'll be three weeks on and one week off Taxol for up to a year and a half, i guess assuming the chemo is effective and she lives that long.

I have to sleep now...soon. have to check my classes first and make sure no one asploded while i was gone today.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Ain't no party like a hospital party, 'cos a hospital party don't stop.

I am sitting and waiting for my laptop to be repaired (because I am a control freak, and do not like leaving things which I consider ultra-personal with strangers, or anyone who isn't, well, *me*) before driving out to Botany Bay to meet Laura for a ton of rescue-cat cat food for my babies at Eviljob. And hopefully to meet Betty for, as I texted, 'coffee, dinner, or kinky sex with a pooled-fund male prostitute'.

She picked coffee, btw.


Of course, this PC repair place is housed in an xtian motivational place, and I have eyerolled so much that i have a headache. Does no one understand that the entire world is not xtian? Well, the total lack of reading material allows me to blog. Except for this needing a bathroom thing.

Speaking of xtians, i have re-friended IRL (like i have the time to go to the bathroom IRL) a guy from ever ago that i sort-of knew, and don't you know, he's still an awesome person (now divorced with a sweet son), and ::drumroll:: an xtian. Bleurgh. Why is it that when everyone loses their crackers, they find Jesus? Is there not some corelational thing there? 'I went batshit, then found my lord, jeebus mice'?  If, then...if, then...

I'm just sayin'. 

Mommy is ok; she was put in hospital for breathing difficulties which turned out to be fluid surrounding he lungs, most of which was drained yesterday, but a large part of her lung was still not filling up, so i had to rage at the day nurse to get mom a spirometer and PT orders, then when i stopped by after work, i had to rage again cos she had basically been abandoned for over five hours with a blood sugar of over 200, in pain, needing to go to the bathroom, etc... i asked for her nurse, the charge nurse, and finally when a tech told me she couldn't do anything more (almost crying), i told her that as fucked-up as this place is, i empathised with her dilemma, and to go take a smoke break or something, and i'd handle it. She left, and the same gaggle of scrubs was clustered around the nurses' station as when I'd been there before, way up at the end of the hall, so i just walked around and removed an arm-full of Steris foam from the dispensers all around, and started having a foam party in the hall.

That got their attention.

All of a sudden, room 5802 was The Place To Be; i can get a party started better than Alig, guys. Not only did i get the charge nurse, but i got the charge nurse phoning a director who was still on. I vented my spleen at the charge nurse, and she assured me that she would (1) get mom's meds immediately, (2) change the dressing herself, and etc.; then Heidi The Director showed up and told me to give back the cans of Steris, or get trespassed off the property. I set them down, and told her to walk around the corner away from pt rooms to talk with me, and she did. By the time i told her the whole thing, she was writing down names, incidents, and times. I told her that if i had ONE more burden added to my caretaking in the form of a broken hip cos no one would spot my mother bathrooming herself, i was going to burn the fucking hospital to the ground to keep their inferior standards of care from hurting one more person, even if it meant i was trapped in it, i was *really* that far beyond caring, and i figured they were on the road to murdering half the people in there, so all I'd be doing was speeding up things a little.

Then she told me about losing her sister to cancer, and how if all of this had happened to her sister, she would feel the same way, and...well...she was being serious. I felt like crap. She gave me her number, and said to phone her before i went off on any more foam parties, and i said that i would.

The poor tech had already cleaned up my mess by the time we came back, so i felt even worse. :-/ i sat with mom until she began to feel drowsy (mind you, i started my foam party at around 11:15 - 11:30), and while we were waiting, more bedlam erupted; an elderly man a few doors down (who was aparrently also being ignored) simply unhooked himself from his shit, and got up and started walking down the hall, screaming 'isn't there a god damned doctor in this hospital? I want to see a doctor!'. And once again, the techs and charge nurse (and Heidi, who was still on the wing) came a-running.

Next time, we are taking Mummers to a different hospital. i can't take this anymore. 

Oh, and when i came back in Mummers' room (I'd done all this away enough that she thought I had just summoned all this help), mom told me she was impressed that I had maturely handled a situation instead of flying off the handle, as i usually do. I just smiled at her. Why try to introduce yourself to a dying person? You and I know I am about as low-key as Tank Girl. Snort.

And I am *starving*. And i am hoping that my PC repair guy isn't pawing through my porn. o_O. Ok, kidding...but i have my blogstuffs and shit on there. And research shit. Well, ok, and porn. XD

Though if i gave in and became a xtian, i guess i could do away with all that, right? Haha.

Ok...more later, cos i'm getting grumpy.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

I has a headache.

I am (I know; my mother is dying, and I'm all 'me, me, me') exhausted, and I cannot write anything for shit right now. And i cannot get uninterrupted blocks of time to write. And my mother feels understandably crappy, but she won't take anything for her mood swings, and she is driving me to tears every day.