Friday, October 31, 2008

LOOK! Mouldering Sanctums!

a/k/a 'I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper, He's a Pepper, She's a Pepper, Only Madame Leota Ain't a Pepper, too'. ilu, Thurl Ravenscroft & Paul Frees!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

i am at peace...

even though i am making a list of places i want to go on the way home this semester; there's two restaurants near the bay -- one japanese, the other seafood -- that i soooo want to go visit. right now, i am pulled over to talk with a very irate travelling trainer for eviljob on my way home from teaching, cos i've lost my headset somewhere. i love my class, i really do. i love everything...even this neon-bedecked parking lot; the weather's freezing, and it is all just gorgeous. i am bathed in red and a little blue, and the tree lights are on. i am in love.

i love tree lights.

right now, i am in the 'uh-huh, uh-huh...hmmm' stage of the conversation. i cannot say that i blame...ummm...let's call her macy.

i love shopping (i've been reining it in for about a proud of me). i am late leaving ummm...this seaward town because i stopped to buy this cool, oriental-kitschy coat for meg. she'll look so cute in it that i cannot wait to give it to her.


ok, it's later. by the time i got home it was cold as hell. rhett butler is in a cuddly mood, as always. i stopped at this awesome chinese place by my home and picked up a shrimp broccoli combo -- huge-assed shrimp with broccoli, fried rice, egg drop soup, and an egg roll, so that was dinner...and lunch tomorrow. they are the best chinese food store ever; let's call them We Wok. hee. what i really wanted (besides the broccoli) was the egg drop soup...yum!

my house is so cold (don't fret; cats are warm) that i think all it needs is the smell of a christmas tree to be truly fabulous.

today went well even though i had a small problem with a paper that had been turned in to me for review, and i gave it a polite verso pollice...probably *too* polite, as i don't think the recipient of my message understood that the only alternate courses of action they have open to them are the wholly imaginary ones they have invented.

yep, yep...i am a bitch.

i have to get to sleep; tonight i am choosing to to this whilst freezing my tuchas off by my bay window, under my favourite patchwork quilt. not even my cats will come over; they have all retreated to warmer climes (my home is kept at 75 degrees-ish, it is just freezing where i am cos my window is old and needs to be re-weatherproofed. always something.


Ok...I broke down and played a little with my blog formatting 'cos I got bored. Now I have some stuff on the top, side, and bottom (check out Jon Stewart & Stephen Colbert below!) that wasn't before, and I started a Twitter for this blog 'cos I had to start one for my real life, and I guess that means that le Facebook's to follow. Shoot me. If you had any idea how socially 'connected' I already am, you'd warn me off it. Rilly. As it stands, I have my cell on 24/7, I am on my PDA constantly (I even use it to check email at three in the morning when I wake up in a cold sweat, fearing that I have missed something...or finally go to sleep). I have a hard time simply turning *off*, which is stupid, because I miss things no matter how without-sleep I go.


I am so beyond all the Meg crap right now; I am focussing on that part about hoping she is safe. Sigh. I am also extremely entertained by GreyGooseCosmo's link to (credit for finding that one, w00t! Whomever you are voting for, it *is* funny)

I honestly was cracking up at work over that one almost as bad as the one Martini had a few months ago ... let me see if I can find it...

Ok...gonna add it once I post. Go listen to the Halloween station on the radio. :-D

my heart is drenched in ... erm, whine.

i just had another row with meg over doofer, the drunk. i am quickly
becoming very tired of all this.

months ago, before she even knew shithead existed, i'd taken halloween
off completely, as well as saturday; those who know me might wonder if
i'd had a stroke or some other crisis, cos i tend towards being a
little bit of a workaholic. it's ok; i can admit it. i've worked
through birthdays, halloween, short, the entirety of
my holiday season, even new year's eve and day.

but that DOESN'T mean that i want to.

so i take the days off, and she up-and-makes plans with blod, the wondertwit.

oh, hush; that may well be his halloween vampire name, one never knows.


so tonight, after she'd had me parked in a holding pattern for weeks
over what she wants to do (if she wants to do anything at all), meg
tells me she and blod are going to go do x, y, and z, and do i want to
come. and she's also invited this lesbian couple with whom meg and i
are both friends.

i'm sorry...bbq?

so i completely lost it, and told her to have a fabulous couples'
night out, cos i will be at work. once again, i have turned down more
casual invites to 'hang out' than i can recall offhand, as well as two
formal parties (three if one counts the immeditate 'no, thanks' i gave
the self-important jackass one at one of my jobs where the anal little
bastard hosting told everyone invited that his family (he and his wife
aren't authority enough, he has to drag his kids into it) is 'not
allowing any costume that requires shoes as part of the costume',
because he has 'extremely expensive carpeting, furniture, and
fixtures' -- these are quotes here -- and therefore will not allow
shoes indoors, or edibles in 'unapproved' areas...fuckaduck; why not
hold it elsewhere? why make people miserable? i begged off cos i know
me; i'd wear something witchy and dolman-like, and spend the whole
evening subtly spilling indian ink on everything in the house i could;
i am evil incarnate), and of the two guys i might take out, one i am
still in what i consider a very early stage (plus, he is a little
older, and i don't feel like finding out that he is a stick in the mud
just yet), and the other is at this point (1) leaning more towards
friend and (2) nice enough to not jerk around; i'd cleared halloween
to hang out with meg, and it is unfair to play 'red light / green
light' with the lives of others.

hear that, meg o' my heart?

so we fought, and i hung up on her, and went out into my garage to
smoke and do laundry (i only smoke when i am really upset anymore --
as i have been over this shite for about two weeks -- and i won't
smoke around my cats, but heavens, am i caught up on laundry!). after
i calmed down, i phoned her back and told her that i was sorry if i'd
not clearly detailed my intentions (she claims i'd told her i might be
working, where i claim she's completely batshit and making up
conversations to suit her own agenda), and to have a great time. i so
completely observed, and tried to bring her 'round via socratic
enquiry, that she is *not* going to her dean's special-invite party
along with her b-f-fucking-f sabra and a few others in her department
cos she cannot bring blod the wondertwit; she would spend the evening
having conniption fits cos blod would get roaring drunk, pee in the
pool, and try to hump the dog. meg learnt nothing. the socratic method
sucks ass, qed.

i just hope she doesn't let the stinking-drunk bastard drive; losing
my favourite sister on halloween would really ruin my holiday season,
and i don't let ANYTHING ruin my holiday season. seriously; you have
NO idea. all the worst things in my LIFE have happened during *my*
fucking holiday season, and I WILL NOT LET BASTARDS GET ME DOWN!

someday i may go into it, but not now; for now, you will have to trust
me that i have been to hell and back, and for some reason, it ONLY
happens during the holiday season.

and no, not cos there's so damned much of it; shut the fuck up.


as i was saying, so now i not only lose out on *having* a halloween
this year (once again), but now i have to worry about meg's safety,
and according to my family, *i* am the irresponsible one.


all that i wanted was a fucking haunted shed and cider, but that is
too much to ask, it would seem. *and* i have to teach tomorrow, and
i'll have no sleep.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Another Victim of the Media Drive-By


After reading this last night, I pull up my 'puter and see my news for this morning, and I realise that this article about the election does not even begin to cover what my mother (and her friends) will tell you is 'the *real* story'.  I haven't had the time to list off her kooky ideas (and actually try to not talk with her about them, because she's nuts), but...they're there.  For example, without getting into names, one of them killed a gay guy, and the other one had a 5.5 year-long secret meeting with Pol Pot (or whomever) to work out World Domination.  

I guess plans like that take a long time.  

I think we can thank a combination of cable news channels, radio talk shows, and old ladies misinterpreting most everything they hear, and then further misremembering what it was they had misinterpreted.  

My mother, the conspiracy theorist.  Sigh.  

Monday, October 27, 2008


Gah...I have it bad.  I have, yet again, left tons of things to the last minute.  pfft.  I cause all this stress *for* myself.  I know I do.  

But I am really looking forward to travelling tomorrow; makes it all worth it, truly.  


In Other News, I love ducks; ducks are cool.  

Sunday, October 26, 2008


I seem to have upset a few people with my last post.  Hey, I live to annoy; I only rarely get the opportunity away from here.  I would like to mention though -- I at no time mentioned SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS as being the differentiator between me and thee, as it were.  

No, no...actually what I said was that I (and my sister, as well as my family, most all my friends, and so forth) are better than the type of person who is a selfish, self-serving, lazy, irresponsible alcoholic with a documented, undebateable history of drunken driving.  I stand by that statement; we may all start off 'equal' from birth, but our actions from that point certainly do sharply differentiate us's this little thing called PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.  Guess what?  That rewards the people who behave and make good with themselves.  *My* system works better than others where everyone stays 'equal' regardless of their actions and personal choices.  

Allow me to further entertain with a brief list of other 'types' who have less value than myself:  

1) Child abusers/molesters
2) People who hurt or neglect animals
3) People who hurt/neglect/take advantage of the elderly
4) Spree killers
5) Serial killers
6) Gang-bangers
7) People who destroy things just to destroy them
8) Pathological liars
9) Thieves
10) Most criminals
11) Many politicians
12) ANYONE who allows their selfish fun to injure others (e.g., DUIs, peer pressure, etc...)
13) People who commit hate crimes (yeah, that's as opposed to the 'ilu crimes', smartass)
14) Spouse/partner abusers
15) Rapists
16) People who could do something to help in this world and choose not to because it is inconvenient

I could go on, but I am getting bored.  I may re-post my original post; I could also post my post where I got all medieval on some hineys, and I may still, but the one thing that I will not do is allow the misconception to continue that I said something that was 'snotty'.  This has nothing to do with 'snot', nothing to do with SES, and everything to do with MORALITY.  We're aiming for stages five or six here; feel free to work on that.  

And stop kvetching.  If you really think that I suck, consider this dismaying observation: this blog has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course, there's always my way:


Monday, October 20, 2008

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Can't we all just get along?

This would be funny, had it not been made a black/white issue; I am not embedding it cos I find the pic a little offensive, but it's audio only:

The bottom line is that most people are dumb as a box of rocks and have no business voting, anyway. Harlem, Beverly doesn't matter.  
Stupid, stupid, stupid. If one does not know by now who our VP candidates are, they deserve what they get. Freaking ridiculous.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Some of Our Food Friends Should Never Meet

Ok...when I am lax on the capital letters, it's usually 'cos I am on my PDA and being lazy.  :-D  

Still no word on the issues at Eviljob.  Sigh.  I hate suspense.  

In Other News, I think I've made myself sick from eating dolmades and grapefruit for dinner.  I am a moron.  

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


i'm watching the presidential debate...why, i don't know -- but i am.

well, actually, it's peer pressure; everyone i know is totally
enthralled by this election.

pfft. as for me, i am dying to see what assclowns will be running four
years from now. seriously; i predict that it will be bad.

maybe i'll run and name squooshable as my veep.

i don't pay attention to much -- i do not care to, as i am quite
certain as to who will be our next president, enough that i've placed
a bet, cos i might as well make some money from all the stew-pit i am
having to endure -- but i really thought i'd heard they were going to
be kept on topic during this debate. guess not. oh, well.

and now it's over, and neither of those bastiges supersized with me
over my having run out of french fries and burrito coverings. they're
not in touch with the people. everyone's so god damned dumb, and we're
all in a handbasket headed for hell. we should all write in camacho.
or andrew, the pink feathered boa doughnut.

andrew cares about the garbage ambulanches.

who won? no one. who lost? the american people. who cares? personne.
we live in a country where political commentators can pronounce
'nicolas sarkozy' with proper inflection because they've been coached,
yet stumble over 'maelstrom' cos they're thisclose to being
functionally illiterate. let me off; i want my money back.

i am watching travel channel now, as i type and supersize (see, *i*
know how to supersize) with a friend from work who doesn't understand
what's so funny about electing andrew, the top pot pink feathered boa
doughnut for president. i, on the other hand, am laughing so hard that
i'm teary-eyed.

and you know, were i a program director at the travel channel, i'd run
political stuff like the debates in place of america's most scary
halloween destinations...but that is cos i am just nasty like that.

oh my god, i swear i only laugh constantly and feel superior every
four's political pon farr. rilly.

we had a little drama at eviljob today; after i left job 1, i got a
strange text message, and by the time i made it to eviljob, two
managers in my department had been told to go home for the day because
they were creating a 'hostile work environment' for one of my
co-workers who is, frankly, nuts.

seems they'd been discussing where to go over a free weekend during an
upcoming travelling stint, and when nutter went to put their two cents
in, nutter was told they weren't invited unless they wanted to pay for
themselves. nutter then went to human resources and filed a complaint.

see, eviljob offers some extra money to managers who travel to train
-- it's just a little perq to encourage management-level trainers to
not sit on their tuchas and whatnot. so all the two managers were
saying is that nutter would be paying their own way, with no subsidy
from eviljob. considering that what they're planning is a tad pricey,
a rational person would have been grateful for the heads-up...i mean,
i know *i* would appreciate the reminder that my mouth is about to
commit me to a $500-plus layout over one weekend, even if the reminder
was sent to me in the final form of a *forwarded* email which hadn't
had the back-and-forth between the two managers (where they both
agreed that, could nutter not afford it, neither one was willing to
pick up any of the tab) deleted. a little rude, sure. stupid?
certainly. tacky? without a doubt. hostile? no -- hostile would have
been not being reminded at all, assuming one knew, and then demanding
the missing third of the money after it is too late to back out. THAT
is 'hostile'. even if it *did* mean management doesn't want to
fraternise with nutter during down time, considering the price tag,
were it to have been done to me, i would not have thought it was so
awful. why would one want to pay so much to be around people that are
not friends?

i work with crazies.

so tomorrow, i've managed to commit myself to another 48-hour 24-hour
day; i start early, and finish way-late. but at least i'll have an
update on the eviljob drama -- all our travelling people are supposed
to be leaving soon.

the suck part of this is that i adore my current manager, and she'll
be gone over halloween, and here i was planning on having fun at
eviljob this year. poop.

i am hoping there won't *be* a 'next year' at eviljob; i am really
hoping that this time next year, i will be readying to move for a
different job. i hope, i hope, i hope... i guess we shall see.

tomorrow just *has* to be better.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

you're lucky, he's lucky, i'm lucky, WE'RE ALL LUCKY!

...sorry, it's been a long, but fantastic, week.

mom's home and ok; stent appears to be working well. took her fricking
cats, arby and sweetie. thank you, jeezy creezy; arby hates me, and
sweetie is totally, spastically batshit -- she can't even chase her
tail; she attacks her own leg instead. apropos of nothing, she'll jump
up and start, even if it makes her fall off the bed or sofa.

i had never heard of such a thing until SHFTB mentioned *her* cat that
did that; thank CC that was before i rescued sweetie and mummers fell
in love with her, else i'd have taken the cat to the vet for
seizures...or at least a psych eval.

meg is a pain in my ass. i'll have to post more about this later, but
basically she started flirting with this guy -- he's totally non
meg-material, but i think she did it just cos she can, got bored,
loves the way he adores her, or, d, all of the above. barfy. anyway,
as a result, i'm not going out carousing friday eves any longer with
them, cos i hate drama, he's immature as hell (and only a shade of a
personality meg and i were both fond of years ago), and meg has
enraged this porky girl (i am just being cruel cos i hate all the
drama soooooooo much) who apparently thought she had mr wonderf...not
in her sights before meg came around.

i have decided that i like being alone. alone with my cats, of course.

the speuterfest went AWESOMELY -- all the boys and girls are now R'd
(as in TNR), and appear to be ok. this time, i lost NONE to FIV/FeLV
testing. yay. and breakfast is a cutie-pie with her tipped right ear;
after she escaped from the trap during a round up last year, i thought
i'd never catch her again. w00t!

speaking of being alone, be happy for me; harry drove out to meet me
for dinner after class (an hour and a half), we had a really nice
dinner (gorgeous restaurant, one of my all-time favourites -- tiered
seating, and just fun and pretty), and got to play ntn for a few
hours, and harry even paid his half. then i drove back alone and had
one of the most enjoyable, peaceful drives ever. cleaning out my car
last week, i'd come across numan's pure cd that's been lost under my
passenger seat for a good two-to-four years (i kid you not), and
listened to it on the way back, and honestly felt as if i were
rediscovering a musical facet (which, sarcasto-cynically, i suppose i
have, as much as any archaeological dig through my car might afford;
i'm still missing some of my cds from the eighties...glove box here i
come!) it's been a perfect evening. perfect, perfect, perfect.

even my late-afternoon class was charmed; i like the little snowflakes
in there -- they're smart (mostly) and well-behaved -- so i gave an
intro to geo. k. and his paradigm, then showed a film and gave them a
writing assignment on it. i was surprised that many of them had never
seen the film. next time, i'm bringing candy; they're so cute. it may
sound cop-outty, but i've found that well-selected films are fun and
can really illustrate the point -- get them to think. i just have to
be careful of colourful language. sigh.

since when does the word 'twat' find its way into a pg movie? sigh.


i feel as if something hugely horrible should be happening. seriously.
instead, everything is *so* fantastic!

and i have pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies here at home as well as the
pillsbury (?) halloween cat cookies that meg and i have nicknamed 'fat
little cookies' after *my* cookie (rhett butler's sister, remember?
she severed a nerve in my finger when i trapped her in 2006?), the fat
little halloween cat.

and i have been lax in talking about just how wonderful my fat little
cookie is...she is adorable! she's such a halloween cat -- even does
little halloween cat poses and has a voice that is, whilst unpleasant,
uniquely-suited to halloween -- it honestly sounds like those cat
sound effects on tv. oh, and she really likes to watch star wars --
all of them.

no, i'm serious: cookie watches star wars. maybe she has a crush on
chewbacca, maybe she wants to be princess cookie; i don't know why,
but she does. she also tries to chase news/stock tickers on the bottom
of tv screens. go figure. i have to read them with cookie paws all
over them.

life is good. :-)

Monday, October 06, 2008



Arby has her second dose of steroids, Mummers is having to have a PIC line cos she's run out of veins (Meg is with her, bless her), I am EXHAUSTED, and I still have to figure out what I am teaching tomorrow.  And my back hurts.  A lot.

This is one of those 'I feel as if I may never sleep again' times.

ceiling cat, you're not funny.

My mommy is being kept another day so that she can get blood, iron, and have some GI scope that she didn't get the other day.  Bwaah.  

In Other News, I'm caring for my mother's cats (naturally), and one of them (Arby) popped up this morning with what I thought was a broken paw, but it turns out is only a sprained paw (how?!?!?).  So I had to beg Meg to run over here and get her to the vet's on her way to teach, I picked the cat up, and she's on steroids now.  I have never, *ever* known of a sprained-pawed cat, so I have no idea if this is normal or not.  I don't know what else I can do though, cos with my schedule I'm going to be killing myself to dose her appropriately as it is -- it's all tricky; there's a quarter of a pill two times per day for three days, then once a day for three days, then once every other day for six days, or somesuch.  

Of course, I cannot tell Mom anything about this; it would upset her too much.  

The vet didn't say anything about restricting her movement, so I haven't.  I guess if the swelling doesn't go down soon, I'll know that was a bad choice and take her back on Wednesday.  

How in the hell does a cat sprain their paw?  Hmmm?

Sunday, October 05, 2008

visiting mummers

her blood sugar tanked last night, i got into an all-out with her
idiot nurse (the one who gave my npo'd mommy insulin when i was away
and then left her for four hours), and had to demand a new nurse,
something i've never had to do before, but when i phoned my father
today, he said i'd been right, that he'd had a similar-but-worse
situation one morning when he was called to his hospital early for an
elderly patient who'd been left to lapse into a diabetic coma
overnight. sad.


i'm back home now and have to prep lessons and watch true blood. :-D
and feel sorry for myself cos i'm exhausted.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

still no mommy

they're still holding mummers because her creatinine and potassium are
both high, so i went after work to stay with her and see if they'd be
willing to slip a little bicarb and magnesium her way, seeing as how
the nephrology pa (pa!) never even BOTHERED TO ASK about recent
diarrhoea (mommy has ibd), so i had to throw a fit, and what made me
angriest was when mom phoned my god damned brother (whom i forgot to
tell that she'd been admitted...oh, shut up; i stay *so* busy) to get
*him* to tell me i was wrong (he didn't, ha ha) after i'd raged a hole
in her pa and nurses eardrums and gotten her nurse to phone either
mummers' internist or nephrologist (i forget) to get abgs run cos i
started yelling when no one had her blood ph. ridiculous.

i am so sleepy. :-(

*now* i remember...

...why i do not go out drinking with friends:

it is, ultimately, a depressing and pointless wallet suck. i think i
won't be doing that again; i have had no sleep, i have to make up a
ton of work at eviljob, and i am bordering on being profoundly
depressed after last night. adding to this is that mom is being kept
at the vet because her creatinine is a touch high (i told her romeo
went through the same thing, and that we'll probably have to put her
to sleep).

i am depressed.

Friday, October 03, 2008

serenity prayer on a friday night out with the girls

o hai. ceiling cat, grant me the strength to not have too many
jalapeno poppers to accompany my rum and cokes, the wisdom to not give
myself brain damage from rolling my eyes too far or frequently up into
my head at the drunken lout attempting to gain my favour, and the
intestinal fortitude to not blow chunks whilst some in my party
engange in behaviour with which i disagree, even when this behaviour
includes abstaining from eating and bathrooming activities so as to
impress the inebriated hyena drooling 140-proof onto her cleavage with
how 'dainty' and/or 'feminine' she is, for, verily, although the
over/under on aforementioned hyena's current possession of a valid
driving licence is not looking all that swell for him right now, and
not even an act of congress would get *me* near that crotch (no pun
intended, cc; i know you hiss at teh prayerz punz), not all womenfolk
were created by you to have the same standards, and further, hyena is
entitled to chase after whatever presents itself to be chased, no
matter how ill-advised that presentation may be. but we've already
covered that.

oh, and -- grant me the creativity to come up with a good reason why i
stepped out, cos i don't really smoke anymore and have no cigarettes,
and therefore won't go back in smelling of smoke.


in soviet america...

...*you* lend *BANK* money!

bwahaha... ohhh, i crack me up.

i'm available for parties, kids.


Thursday, October 02, 2008

it lives.

well, mummers was stented (for the five trillionth time) a few hours
ago. she'll be staying on the cardiac floor for at least another
twenty-four hours, now that her normal cardiologist is back from
whooping it up, rosh hashana-style.

so she lives. and no -- no ill effects at all from the ten nitro
pills; she'd let them go completely worthless, the silly (and
undeservedly lucky) bint.

so i've called off to all my jobs, and i'm helping her eat cos she's
not allowed more than a thirty-degree incline yet, then i'm going to
shop for dinner for myself. right now, we're watching cash's
nutella, fool. gah!


Wednesday, October 01, 2008

mommy + october = hospital

she's in for chest pains; she woke up with chest pains at four a.m. and decided, for reasons beknownst only to my scary mommy, to self-medicate...with TEN nitroglycerin.

Thank goodness she'd let them all go stale.

So I met her at the hospital; she's fine.  They're holding her for retarda...observation.

*ten* nitroglycerin???  just shoot me.  

I left her and high-tailed it to make my lab meeting only to find out that the damned thing was cancelled at the last second.  That really rips my widget.