Thursday, October 28, 2010
Saying goodbye
Meg is an addict; I am currently in a comped executive suite at a Harrah's property. She has apparently raised the bar for her comps since I last travelled with her, cos we have it for free. o_O This is easily the nicest place I have stayed in, and I know that makes me sound like a rube, but I don't care.
We are burying Mummers on Saturday, and I really feel as if my soul has been ripped out. There is just no reason for what happened. None. And I feel such guilt over my not having figured out what was going on that I do not know if I will ever get over this.
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2 comments:
The reason we put our trust in medical professionals is that at some level, we have no choice. We can't all go to med school, and they've even decided to always speak Latin to confuse us. It's tragic that this happened, but please stop kicking yourself. You're intelligent, you're well-informed, and you're a force to be reckoned with, but you're not an MD, nor are you expected to be. You were a relentless, powerful advocate for your mother when she needed one, and you should be proud of that, not guilt-ridden. I don't know if I could be that strong in the same situation, but you're certainly an inspiration.
Still thinking of you. Keep your chin up.
I'm so sorry. I know the guilt I felt with my father and I can only guess how much more difficult this is for you since your mother was so much more a part of your life. I like how Scott says "you are a force to be reckoned with." Take this grief and cherish it. It means you love, you struggle, you anguish, you grow. Too many people shrug and walk away. I come back and read your blog because you are real and you care.
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