Fuck this life.

Squoosh has a lump on his shoulders, behind his neck, that Dr Superhero thinks is a fibrosarcoma from vaccines. Squoosh is on Clindamycin and prednisone until his biopsy next week in the hopes that it is an abscess, even though it couldn't be aspirated. If the biopsy is fibrosarcoma, Squoosh would have to have it removed by a specialist, and I don't have the money, period. Financially, 2010 has killed me. So I would either have to just put Squoosh down, or give him to someone who could afford to treat him (like Meg's friend, who is a vet). I would probably give him away, even though that will kill me.

I am so sad. Please don't vaccinate your cats. It's not worth it. Cats only need rabies vaccines every five years, not every year, that's just a money-making scheme. Fuck state laws. Vets are supposed to vaccinate on arms and legs, so that they can be amputated, but they don't. Dr Vet, the vet before Dr S did Squoosh between the shoulderblades all the time.

Then add to that the fact that yesterday -- YESTERDAY -- my PhD program tells us that we have to register for next semester by FRIDAY, or we get our assistantships yanked. I owe $550 in jackass fees that aren't covered by my tuition waiver, and no way to come up with it in less than twenty-four hours, especially now that I just paid what is basically my last $200 on Squoosh tonight.

And yes, that was after a STEEP discount; the original bill was almost three times that.

And what is SO fucking stupid is that our program just instituted this cos of lower years' students' fuckery where they'd wait too long to sign up and in-program classes wouldn't make. Well, hello, I'm DONE. I'm fucking ABD. I am taking dissertation hours ONLY. My 'classes' CAN'T close...they are fucking created for me ONLY, just like everyone else's dissertation hours. But yet I now lose my assistantship, research position, dissertation hours, and everything else all because of a handful of fucktards who aren't going to pass qualifiers anyway because they are too stupid to follow rules have peed in the pool for everyone. And here I HAVE to graduate next term, and find an industry position before that (to pay bills) which I didn't intend to stay in (shhh), just so I can afford to live, because I have to move, cos I can't afford to live here much longer. And I have lost my mom, who i miss more than i can explain, my brother has had his deployment moved up to December (what kind of a bullshit country takes a man who just lost his mother away from his children at fucking Christmas just to sit in some hospital in some god-forsaken asshole of the earth third-world shithole?), and the way things are going in my life, he will probably die over there, and I am going to lose Squoosh. I am losing everything. EVERYTHING.

It's all already gone, really.

I am just about done, Folks.


- Posted using SomeBlogApp that I don't know how to use. o_O