The end.

When all of this is over, I am going to find someplace to hide. I don't know where yet. Somewhere.


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Maybe I Will Win!

Maybe, someday
Saved by zero
I’ll be more together
Stretched by fewer
Thoughts that leave me
Chasing after
My dreams disown me
Loaded with danger

Maybe I’ll win
Saved by Zero

Holding onto
Words that teach me
I will conquer
Space around me

Maybe I’ll win
Saved by zero

Maybe I’ll win
Saved by zero


yeah. that about sums it up right now. it actually isn't possible to fall off the floor.




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Uh-oh

Ok; I'm now scared. I have run out of time to fix the messes that aren't mine, and I have to move. Stat.

This couldn't happen at a worse time. I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk with about this because it is all so involved that no-one would understand. But I am now terrified.


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Whine

I just finished working for the night (I didn't even get my hour of reading in because Karen phoned needing help with her study, and she's always been there for me, so...).

I am tired, and scared of an upcoming deadline. I have worked so hard...I'm just nervous. And crampy. Those 'danger is near', Buffy the Vampire Slayer cramps. :-<

And I have to go to work in an hour. So much for sleep. At least I sent two emails off asking for help. Augh.


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Hiding and Healing

I have been busy. And crying a lot. And stressed out. And nobody cares. Well, it feels like nobody cares. I am taking an hour here and there as a break when I need to stop sobbing uncontrollably and just read something mindless. I have just started My Heart May Be Broken, But My Hair Still Looks Great, or whatever the name is, cos I bought it as an ebook for way dirt cheap, and these days all my budget can afford is Way Dirt Cheap.

Butsoanyway.

I just got to the part where Paige tries to give what's his name her last $100 because she thinks she may have stomped his foot out of wages for a few days, and I had a revelation. Paige and I are a lot alike, except that I'm not pretty and have finished college, but...I just had a smidgen of insight as to why some people hate me. Or act like they do.

Just a thought. For me, at least. And not that I know how to tell them I have good intentions. But...it's something to think about, at least.




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:-O

Today I pulled off my Jedi Mind Trick Schtick.

By email.

It's too early to say for certain, but I may be a god. ;->


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Goodnight

I know that I promise more and then never deliver. I had to bump my Get Out Of Jail date to May.

I am concerned about a wide variety of things, from if my finances will hold out to the shiteous state of the entire fucking world. I am trying to focus on only what is local and immediate to me.

One of those things is Sweetie backing her ass up into my face. Just a sec...

Ok.

I do not have many, or any, friends left who like to play games with poetry and song lyrics, and in the past year, I have come to greatly miss that. When I was a teenager, a handful of us would pick a song or poem and investigate it until we had pummelled the life out of it. From there, we would reconstruct it in some cases, with modern or more common meanings. It actually was fun, and if I could ever think of a way to make a board game out of it, I'd probably make a mint.

Well, I heard a story on NPR which reminded me of some old lyrics, and because I am lonely, I emailed Meg to try to entice her...no luck. Oh, well.

Tomorrow I will be drowning in stats work and meeting my father for lunch.

Love you. Mean it.


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