Christmas Thievery

Christmas was nice. I haven't gotten to do anything really fun yet, but I'm going out of town next week, so we'll see. :-) I'm hopeful. One of my jobs had a break-in over the break, and some computer equipment was stolen. I can't believe I have to be the one to politely suggest to a coworker that they don't need to go around accusing other people (by calling them at home!!) of doing it, that's the police's job. Sigh. Are there any normal people in the world?!? Hell--of course not; if there were, I'd be married by now.

Why do people jump to conclusions? Why do they always seems to want to insert themselves into someplace where (1) they don't belong, (2) they are incompetent to perform (and I include myself in these; I don't mean incompetent in a bad way--you won't see me hanging out my Ancodia, Girl Detective shingle any time soon), (3) they weren't *asked* to perform, (4) they are more likely than not going to screw up big time and be the cause of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and insults? I just don't get it. And then, when I suggested this person back off and let the people in charge of handling it handle it, they get all offended. Like I wouldn't be offended if someone who isn't even my superior at work called me at night, at home, during a break, and accused me of stealing computers. What is wrong with the world today? I'm not even old enough to be *saying* things like "what is wrong with the world today?", and I know that's uncool. Frickin' dipshit.

I think that part of the problem is that most people wouldn't know empirical proof if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing "Empirical Proofs Are Here Again". :-) Ok, I somewhat stole that from Black Adder. :-D What galls me is that the person who is doing this is one of the "Never There" underlings during the last semester, and so them calling people, being accusing, is all the worse in my opinion. It's like having your long-lost dimbulb younger brother, the one who left the family ten years ago to become a gold prospector in Alaska, come back and try to tell you how to run Dad's business. What can I say? We hire some stupid people.

Am I upset about losing the stuff? Oh, hell yeah. I hope whomever did it gets caught and all. But really--what can I do? Hmmm...lemme put my brain on this one: Locard's Theory of Transfer says that they've both left and taken something from the crime scene. My superior deductiveness tells me that what they've taken is the computers. And my deductiveness also leads me to the conclusion that what they've left, besides an overall grinchy aura (which it's hard to dust for, and tends to not hold up in court), is clearly fingerprints. Hey--I have a tin of talc here, a whole bitchload of 3x5" index cards, and some leftover scotch tape from Christmas...let me go get on that right now! I can borrow Mom's old-ass vacuum cleaner that one can throw into reverse, fill it with the powder, and have the whole room printed in no time! See what a little ingenuity'll get you?

As always, I have a cunning plan... ;-)