So they say it's Christmas time.

My personal favourite part of Christmas so far is the zombie apocalypse nightmares where Mom, Meg, my brother and I are in someone's house in another city and the power is still on, then Meg and Brat leave to get food and leave me with Mom, and as I woke up this morning, I was shopping with Mummers in another city where the outbreak hadn't hit yet and Meg and Brat still hadn't shown back up.

For some reason, this dream has really upset me. And I don't know where anyone else was. Pfft. Like, merry Christmas.

I am getting really heavily depressed over Mom's death and my brother's deployment.

I suck at keeping in contact with anyone anymore. It isn't just you, blog. My plan is simply to have a good day today and tomorrow. And to feed the cats at Eviljob. They haven't been liking the weather, but they are okay.

I wrote something last night at work, then forgot to post it 'cos This Guy cannot seem to understand that I want to be left alone. so what I wrote is below:

At the moment, which is eight-ish p.m., I am at work. This is unfair for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that I just yesterday finished a conference proposal that appears to be a watershed in my career (as if anyone but myself gave a damn). This is the first of many which will not be undersigned by She Who Hath No Name, and I am not overly upset by this. I guess that makes me a free agent, if not yet an actual professional.

I have excelled for years at being an actual unprofessional, however.

Lawd, I am funny. It’s why you love me.

Butsoanyway.

So I (we, but I am not discussing this part at this time) got it in, and so that’s good. This morning, I had what I hope is my last physician’s appointment of 2010, only to find that I have a UTI that I cannot seem to shake. So after two rounds of Bactrim, I am on Cipro. Sigh.

And there is someone here who has their radio on xmas carols just loud enough for me to hear only certain parts of each song; one of the songs being played frequently – from this distance – has this theremin-like, repetitive whistling sound…sort of like xmas carols for aliens, or something. It’s kind of cool. I was, in fact, just sitting here thinking about how cool it would be in a dystopian-type way, and was halfway thinking about writing a story about it when I remembered that I haven’t any free time these days. Bleurgh.

Oh, and before anyone decides to get offended at ‘xmas’, please, please, please go look at Paul Brians’ errors page. Thank you.

Butsoanyway.

So I am all crampy and crappy, and will have to go in a bit, but in the meantime…

Ummm…in the meantime, I’m here. Brill.

I am still not finished with holiday shopping, but I really don’t give a damn; I am so depressed still that I cannot see straight. I am forcing Meg to go with me tomorrow and Saturday so I won’t be alone, but it will not be the same without Mummers. And I do not feel like being with my father. I will admit this here, and nowhere else. I know he is, as we all are, not long for this world, and my stepmother was diagnosed with MS this year also (I may have failed to mention that here – she went blind in one eye, and was diagnosed. Apparently she has had previous episodes and not noticed, from what her doctor said. Now the good news of this is that, because of her age, it is highly likely that she will be largely asymptomatic for the remainder of her life now that she is taking appropriate medication. The bad news is that, well, she has MS.), but…I just do not feel like it, especially if he is going to go off on a tirade about how terrible Mummers is, which is what he did the time before the last time that I visited him. So I am a crappy daughter. Meh.

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I just don't feel like finishing. Here's hoping we all have a good couple of days.