...and fruit flies like a banana

Ok...it's been a long time since I posted; I suck. This has, beyond any doubt, been the worst month of like, the past five years. I literally haven't had the time to stop for a moment. So what has this earned me? Well, in my godawful mathstuff class, I have a high B or low A right now. So that's good. But I ended up with a well-deserved migraine today that made me literally *have* to stop for about two hours. I was doing ok until someone else came into the office and turned on the lights (I'd had them off; there was already too much light coming in from the window and monitor). Then it really skyrocketed to where I couldn't think. I'm not a Drama Queen; I rarely call in sick, or even get sick. And maybe I should have stopped a while before, or taken the weekend off, or something, but when I was a child, I remember getting yelled at and stuff for being sick, and I feel guilty now because of that. I feel like I am being indulgent and lazy, or something; that's the best way I can describe it.

So I went to another office that's not used much to work there, or rest, or something, but a work-friend (the younger guy I'd mentioned) was there. He wanted me to stay, but he had the lights on, the hallway was bright, I couldn't think, so I said something--I'm not sure what--and left. I went up to the 4th floor bathroom that's not used much and has a chaise longue. I stayed there for about two hours with a damp folded up paper towel over my eyes, 'cos the damn bathroom has no light switches. When I got up, I felt sort of better. I got up because my cell phone wouldn't stop ringing; six people called me during those two hours. Each time I looked and it wasn't a life-or-death thing, judging by the caller, so after the first call, I'd put it on silent and just looked at it when it buzzed to see if it was potentially a life-or-death thing. Ok...so I suck. I'm a bad person, a bad worker, and a bad friend. At least that's how I feel.

When I could get back down to my car, I took an Axert (I don't care what anyone says; Axert works, and Imitrex doesn't, and I'd love to spray paint that on the side of my health insurance company's building--their "preferred" prescription is Imitrex and so I have to pay double for Axert, which means I can only afford to refill it every four to six months), and so now I am feeling mostly better.

I know I sound whiny. And I know I sound like "the sick girl, " or "the girl who has to have exceptions for everything," but I'm really not. I try to not be like that, and it really annoys me when people do act like that. So I go out of my way to not act like that.

So that's what's been up with me. Coming up in my life is a huge final paper in one class (plus "peer evaluations" of classmates' huge final papers), the Final From Hell in the mathstuffs class, a couple of presentations in my last "easy-ish" class (I hate those, but they're like, a necessary and relatively lesser Evil). And I have to play catch-up over winter break, so there's no winter break. Sigh. I've changed my mind--I wanna be a shepherd. I think shepherds get winter break. In fact, I'm fairly certain of it.