Friday, October 09, 2009

hold me.

i cannot sleep. i need everything to calm down so that i can catch my
breath. plus, i am near to obsessional over my need to visit Doom,
Despair, and Agony upon...oh, let's name her atilla. i swear to god, i
have not been so close to plotting someone's death in *ages*; if this
were some film noir thriller, i'd be the villain, plotting how to keep
a cigarette burning in an ashtray at work next to a sweaty soda can
whilst i've really hopped abord the concorde under a false name and am
strangling someone in paris.

only strangling is too nice; it ends too quickly. i need some kind of
life-long, duel-to-the-pain type thing.

i am doing ok; a few people around me have caught swine cooties, but
so far i have not. at first, i'd heard the vaccine was not
fda-approved, but it appears that it is. i am still up in the air
about getting it, and i am usually pro-vaccine.

mommy is still crazy, she could not have her renal artery stented
because the artery was wholly occluded, and she got into a fight with
her cardiologist who is so damned much like my brother that he stood
there and fussed back at the crazy woman on versed cos my mother
REALLY IS THAT ANNOYING and he knew she'd remember little to none of
it. i swear to god, no one else starts screaming 'THIS IS
UNACCEPTABLE!' etc..., in the middle of the cath lab. naturally, she
remembers none of this, but she has been texting my brother constantly
(despite the fact that the poor guy is killing himself at Institution
X right now) and has taken up some type of email correspondance with
someone at (i think) the mayo clinic. she is *that* hell-bent upon
having her kidney stented, though as i pointed out, not concerned
enough to monitor her diabetes and stop eating total crap. i am her
least-favourite daughter.

butsoanyway.

i still have not gotten to do anything holiday-funnish this year, but
i will, even if it is going to that chicken-ridden hardware store that
i love. :->

ok...going to try to get to sleep now; my father is in town for the
weekend, and i have promised to have lunch with him tomorrow/today.
yay.

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