Ancodia Is Evil

It is important to remember one's own email address.

No, really.

I just changed the ad of someone who has posted to the Women Seeking Men category of Craigslist.

I received from Craigslist an email requesting that I confirm this advertisement:

Sweet and fit female seeks good looking, professional jewish male (Manhattan)

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Reply to: pers-38xxxxx4@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-04, 6:41PM EDT


Do you have a chivalrous, romantic side that perhaps coexists nicely with a hidden edgy side?

Tell me about yourself.....send a photo iwth your age, height,
weight, what you do, where you live, interests, and hobbies.

Myself.......slender, feminine, 5'7 117lbs, sweet, sexy, playful,
stylish from head to toe, thoughtful, loving, no children,
no pets, creative artistic type exotic pretty girly (feminine) girl.

I am seeking a male who is mature, down to earth, good-looking, fun, with a sense of humor. I am seeking someone who is between 29 and 35, single, intelligent, educated, and passionate. In fact, I am searching for someone similar or if not, maybe you could "sell" yourself to me.

• Location: Manhattan
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 389xxxxx4

=============================

Ok? So my first thought is, 'what a fucking idiot'. My second thought is that I am about thirty seconds away from every loser in Manhattan emailing me a picture of his penis.

::Shudder::

In an attempt to thwart such a disaster, I immediately logged in (the link to edit is oh-so-helpfully included in the confirmation email) and re-wrote things a bit:

Semi-sweet female seeks really rich guy who is about to croak

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Reply to: pers-389xxxxx4@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-05, 3:24AM EDT


Do you have a chivalrous, romantic side that perhaps coexists nicely with a hidden edgy side, or are you a repellent asshat? Either way, it doesn't matter a whit if you are loaded, stupid, and near death! :-D

Tell me about yourself, but only the important parts...send a photo with your age (near death only need apply), height (in flats, not heels...duh!), weight (both real and imaginary), what you do (and how much you make doing it, and how often you will be gone once we are married), where you live (I want to scope out the house I'll have once you kick the bucket), interests (snore), and hobbies (double-snore). I will ignore you unless you make over $500,000 (that's USD, retards) per year...AFTER taxes.

Myself? Mind your own fricking business. You shall take what you get, and you will ENJOY it.

I am seeking a male who is wealthy, about to die, generous, lacking friends and/or family members to whom he intends to leave his money, with a sense of humour about being ignored for weeks on end and cheated on. I am seeking someone who is, frankly, as dumb as a box of rocks.

...you know, kind-of like the girl who posted this ad, and can't remember her own email address? Would you trust a girl like that? Would you? Should you, the next thing you know, she'll 'forget' where she lives, and you'll find her a year later in Argentina with Manuel The Shepherd, 'cos she also 'forgot' that you were her boyfriend, or husband, or whatever. She may have already forgotten about her husband...who knows? Whatever, one would definitely not want to cheat *with* this girl, so married men take note: She's likely to 'forget' that she is not supposed to phone your home when the wife's there. But, on the other hand, that might not be all that bad:

Wife: Hello?
Dingbat: Hi!
Wife: ...may I help you? Who is this?
Dingbat: I forgot. Gimme a sec...

Christ on a cracker. If Craigslist had a 'Women Seeking Expatriation, Flogging, and Bites From Rabid Wombats' category, I would re-post this there.

Please...remember your own email address. Sigh.

p.s.: Should perhaps there be any really wealthy men as above-described, I am still totally open to hooking up. Rilly. ;-)

• Location: Manhattan
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• 
  
• License info:

PostingID: 389448564

=================================

I do hope that picture comes through on my post; if not, I will have to add it later, cos I am tired. Butsoanyway. I already (before I could get on and change it) received two loser replies. Sigh. One of them is a black guy, and I resisted the temptation to email him back and tell him that I did not believe that he is really Jewish.

No, not 'cos of his skin colour; on account of Mr Dangly. Well, and he's not wearing a yarmulke, but one cannot always go by that. The disposition of Mr Dangly, however, tends to be non-negotiable, except for those Reform Jews.

:-D

I still have a live link, so I am considering further editing. But then I have the guilts about not posting, so I will instead catch up for a sec:

I am drowning in work, but our semester is almost over, so that is ok. I will be better on Friday. Rhett Butler is doing well, and is Just Fine with cage rest. :-) He seems to be walking a bit better, also. Romeo is actually doing pretty well; his new vet (I am fully aware that I have not explained all this yet) has changed his meds up a bit (to make it less expensive for me), and taught me how to give fluids at home, so I have my ringer & needles, and Rome and I will have a go at it in the morning. Yay. This is supposed to be less expensive, also. Our new vet charges just $25 for fluids and IM Valium, but Old Vet charged almost double that.

Ok...I give up...let me give a brief swipe at an explanation. Dr Vet is actually several different vets, though I usually tried to stick with the same one. They have quite a thing going over there: huge building, indirect lighting, walled-off walk area for the boarders, and so on. I have stuck with Dr Vet even though they do no business with rescue groups -- period. No discounts, no volunteer hours, nothing. I am actually ok with this, because they have the right to make a profit in any way they see fit; they are, after all, a business, and I explained this to the people who have helped me for the past -- what has it been? Two years? -- that I do not want to switch vets (they all suggested that I switch to, in their words, more 'animal-friendly' vets, typically Dr Superhero or the vet I am now with).

So back when Romeo became ill, I had an 'incident' happen at Dr Vet's. I thought so little of it at the time that I did not even think to mention it here; I was given an estimate of around $800 for Romeo's exploratory surgery. We agreed to do it, and I had nothing better to do as I was waiting to hear that he had died, so I paid the estimated bill with the front desk.

Well, as we all know, he did not die. When they came out and told me he had needed a nephrectomy and his colour had improved already, I had to leave to go take care of things at work, and after talking with Dr Vet (as Rome was still open on the table back there), I left with the agreement that I would come back at close and transport Romeo to the Emergency Vet for overnight monitoring.

When I returned, the office manager was waiting for me, telling me to NEVER leave owing them that much and not answer my phone (I had managed to sneak in a nap of about 3 hours, and shut the fucking cell phone off until I *had* to wake up) EVER, EVER AGAIN. All in a nasty-assed Hitler tone.

O-kay, then.

That much? Huh? Well, that is when I found out that Romeo's surgery cost me $1,700.

...in addition to the $800 I had already paid.

And that did not cover the Emergency Vet stay that night, though it did cover some of the next day's expenses at Dr Vet's.

So I said fine. I did not feel like arguing at that point. Had I known how bad she would become, I would have argued, or something. I do not feel that it is okay to run up a bill of $1,700 when the estimate was $800 and then be a rude ass on top of it. I defused the conversation with the office manager, and when I saw Dr Vet, he explained that they had not tried to phone me, it was a judgement call (or several, rather) that we were trying to make Romeo live. It was the office manager who had tried to phone me, and that was about the bill.

Ok, whatever. As long as Romeo had a few more months of happiness, I am not going to fight or gripe. And I did not; not in real life, and not here. Fine. *Fine*.

So then Rhett was injured, and I took him in. And after Dr Vet looked him over, the office manager came in and gave me Rhett's estimate...and told me I had to pay her right then. I told her, point-blank, that I was not going to pay her the day before, that I would pay *when* he had his surgery the next day, and that I was saying so specifically *because* Romeo's surgery was initially $800, and then ballooned so; I wanted a realistic estimate, if not a firm one (I did not feel that I was being unreasonable asking for a semi-firm estimate, because Dr Vet assured me that FHOs are performed all the time), plus the estimate included things like boarding pre-surgery, and I was going to take him home, and it also included things I had already paid for, like x-rays (or was about five minutes away from paying for, on my way out, rather). And I took Rhett and left. Their estimate had been for $952.whatever, and according to *my* calculations, it should have been more like five or six-something after removing the things I was not going to do (pre-surgery boarding), and the things for which I had already paid ( e.g., x-rays, exam, pain pills).

I thought we understood each other. So I took Rhett, paid for what had been done, and left with the instructions to return with him between seven a.m. and nine-thirty the next day for surgery, with no food or water after ten p.m.

I was already getting a Really Weird Feeling.

When I showed up with Rhett the next day, a surgery tech came out to pick him up with the surgery release forms and estimate from the day before. She handed me the estimate and said that Office Manager had said that I must pay for the procedure before they are allowed to take Rhett back, so could I give her a credit card for her to charge $952.whatever to as I am filling out the paperwork?

Ummm...NO.

I showed her my receipt where I had paid for x-rays, office visit, pain pills, office injection, etc., the day before. I explained to her that I understood that she was the middleman here, but I am not going to double-pay. PERIOD. If I do, then I will never see that money again; Dr Vet's puts it on one's account as a credit, they do not refund money (this has happened before, but only by a hundred or so). If the Office Manager is going to be a bitch and insist that I pay beforehand (which I have NEVER been asked to do in the entire history of going to Dr Vet), then I am going to be a bitch as well, and ask for the *correct* amount to be charged, and I am also going to ask for an estimate that is more accurately reflective of what I will be charged in Reality since this is allegedly such a common surgery.

So the tech says that she has to phone the office manager, and goes off. She comes back a few minutes later and says that OM says that I do not have to pay for the x-rays, but I do have to pay for everything else. I ask the tech if she is on drugs; does she not see that this estimate includes pre-surgery boarding? How about *yesterday's* exam? And my receipt shows that I paid for Rhett's exam, x-rays, pain pills, and so on -- yet here they all are on this estimate. No. Bzzt. Try again, and now I have fucking *rabies*. I ask to talk to Dr Vet, and am told that he is already in surgery. So the tech goes to phone OM back, and then comes back with the explanation that I have to pay for pre-surgery boarding because it is actually going to be POST-surgery boarding. After I have been told that I could take Rhett home that evening.

Why? Because, the tech explains, Rhett was cancelled from the surgery list YESTERDAY by OM, after I refused to pay her in advance. Now, OM will let Rhett go in as the last surgery of the day, but that has him ready to go home at around five or six in the evening, and they know that I cannot pick him up then (I have been going there so frequently, for so long that they know that late evenings I am in one job or the other).

WHAT...THE...FUCK???

I asked the tech if this was something coming from any of the Dr Vets, or if this was something going on with the OM, and she told me it was the OM, that she did not know what happened, did not want to know what happened, was only doing what the OM had cornered her the day before and told her to do.

So I told her that I was sorry that she was put in this position, and asked her if I could have a copy of Romeo's last blood tests as well as a copy of Rhett's x-rays. She left, brought them back (one sheet of paper and a cd). I thanked her and told her to tell OM to go fuck herself.

Then I took Rhett Butler and left, and it was especially satisfying to have the girls at the front desk try to ask me if I was going to reschedule.

As if. I have not had a worse feeling about something in a long, long time.

As I drove off, I phoned Dr Superhero's, and his office person said that he was just going to sleep after having been with a horse all night (quit laughing; Dr S does a lot of farm and show animals...although I have to admit, the phrasing *did* make me smile), and would probably not be in or available any time before four p.m. So I phoned the other vet that works with local rescue groups, and explained to his front desk girl what was going on in a nutshell, and she said to come over right away and she would fit Rhett in.

We only had to wait about forty five minutes (and as I was waiting, I ran into Lisa -- the normal, good one, not the nutty con artist one -- dropping off some ferals and rescues; I told her what had happened, and her reaction, besides empathy at my frustration, was to say that she had told me from the beginning that she did not like Dr Vet's in the least, and that is true; she had), and then we were taken in and (sheesh...I have to come up with a good name) the vet checked Rhett out, moving his leg around and holding him and stuff (Rhett did not mind; though he did growl when it hurt, he was quick to snuggle after), and then took the cd into the surgery room where he has the system to read x-rays on cd (where it is important if it comes from the emergency vet, etc...), 'cos he still uses regular film x-rays.

He showed me where Rhett's hip is not dislocated at all, but the leg (the femur, I think) is showing up as separated from the hip a tich whereas the other hip is close together because of a line he saw on the x-ray where the ball of the top is. He said that he thinks Rhett may have fractured it, but that it is still in the socket and that Rhett managed to do this because of Mister Blue Cat's avoirdupois; Mr Rhett is just under fourteen pounds, and Doc (still working on a good name) said Rhett needs to be closer to nine. He said that he was not trying to hurt my feelings, but he was diagnosing this in his records as an 'owner-inflicted injury'...because I let Rhett get so fat, and that almost five pounds is nothing on a human, but it is a BIG difference for a small animal.

Okay, so I let him get a little porky.

Doc said that as young as Rhett is, with the hip being *not* dislocated, and with Rhett being an indoor-only cat, he would like to try cage rest for a month and a half and see if the fracture will heal on its own. This would be better for Rhett, Doc said. He also said that, contrary to what I was told at Dr Vet's, in Rhett's situation this is *not* an emergency surgery, and if Rhett never *ever* has it he would probably be Just Fine, although there is the chance that he might fracture it further, and waiting 1.5 months will *not* result in Rhett being crippled with arthritis forever, and even if he is, there are meds and surgeries for arthritis, and worst possible case scenario as an indoor cat would be that when he hurts I give him some pain meds and set him on a heating pad.

This is in stark contrast to Dr Vet's, where I was told that Rhett is in excruciating pain, if we do not operate immediately he will develop arthritis and may stop using his left leg entirely, and I am being negligent. I forgot to mention the part about OM calling me negligent, and I do not feel like going back up and explaining it all, but yeah -- *I* am a negligent cat mom. Smoke starts rising from my head when I think about that whole part of the conversation.

Butsoanyway.

I was really not feeling like being social, so I told Doc flat-out that I do not know who to believe at this point, that I really thought I was taking Rhett over to him for him to work in an FHO today or on Saturday, and that if I had at any point in time given the impression that I am unwilling to pay for Rhett, that is wholly wrong, that I will pay for him THIS MOMENT...I just want him fixed, out of pain, and not crippled for life. I just had a Very Bad Feeling about what was going on over at Dr Vet's (I am NOT a religious girl, but at one point during the brouhaha, I actually thought to myself, 'how much more of a clue do you need, Bitch? Take the cat and LEAVE!', and actually had carried a Bad Feeling of Foreboding since the day before).

Oh! Oh! I forgot one *really* good part! When I was at Dr Vet's and arguing with the tech, after she got off the phone the first time and took the x-rays off the estimate, there was a $50 'miscellaneous' charge added in, so in actuality I only had $100 of the x-ray charges taken off. I asked what 'Miscellaneous' was, and the tech said that OM was on her way in and would explain it, but that was basically the limit of my credit with them for Rhett's procedure, because I had complained about having unexpected bills from them. So I asked her if that meant that, god forbid, should Rhett start seizing in surgery and it costs $51.00 to stop the seizures, that they are just going to let him die? That they would not even make an effort to save him, or euthanise him...because euthanising at Dr Vet's is more than $50 also? The tech said that OM could explain it to me, she was just telling me what she was told by OM, that she didn't know what OM meant, and that this is not a standard policy (no shit!), so she really is just repeating what OM told her to say.

Oh. Yeah. I am so very *totally* going to let you operate on my fucking cat. Absolutely. Sign me up.

Snort.

Butsoanyway.

So Doc looked at my copy of Rhett's estimate, and told me that for a straight FHO he runs around $800-ish, and he was not exactly sure 'cos he does not handle billing, plus most of his FHOs have other issues, like being hit by a car, or falling out of a tree. Then he took me to meet Ike. :-)

Ike is, as Doc put it, 'another slim, trim member of the feline family, like Rhett'. Ike fell out of a tree a few days ago. :-( Ike is recovering from an FHO and having some other stuff done, 'cos he basically smashed the crap out of his whole back end. Doc showed me Ike's x-rays from when he was brought in, and showed me what a dislocated hip looks like (Ike's left side), and a fractured and dislocated hip looks like (Ike's right side). Yeowtch. And it did look different from Rhett's hip. It's easy to see how Rhett's ball part of the bone is still in his hip, where it should be. So Doc convinced me to cage-rest him for a bit.

Rhett *loves* it; Mom comes and hugs and kisses him, and brings him food, and kisses him some more, and all he has to do is lie there and every once in a while get up and take a crap in the litter box; Rhett is in Heaven.

And I bought a whole bunch of his favourite food, Purina's Sardines and Whatnot in Aspic. He just loves that stuff; he eats a whole small can in like, four bites.

Wellll...Doc said to monitor his eating so that he does not gain, but not put him on a diet as-such until after he is better.

So I figured that since Romeo is dying and will need water until I put him to sleep, I would give Doc Rome's blood work, and make sure that if Rome crashes that I can bring him in to be put down. Doc said absolutely, and when I brought Romeo in the next day for fluids, Doc was surprised that Romeo was alert and stuff; he increased his water to 200cc every other day, and ran more blood work, and can you believe -- Romeo's kidney function has actually gotten *better*! He was at BUN 60, CRE 4.5 and now he is at BUN 41, CRE 3.3. Yay, Measle!

And Doc taught me on Friday how to give fluids myself, 'cos he says that NO ONE with a cat like Romeo brings the animal in three to four times a week. This is another total inconsistency with Dr Vet's, because I was told that No Way could I do this myself. But on Wednesday, Doc made me watch (Dr Vet takes Romeo in back to do it), and on Friday, Doc made me do it. I screwed up because I didn't realise the needle had to be poked all the way in, but I know now. :-)

So I think that this was good, overall. I have not returned any of Dr Vet's phone calls, and have in fact deleted the voice mail messages unheard. I am still a little angry, to be honest. Doc showed me how to make a pill gun out of a syringe (cut the tip off, so that the black plunger is sticking out a bit, and put some Laxastat -- a VERY small amount -- on the black tip, then put the pill on, pull back the plunger and stick it in the cat's mouth all the way in the back, and depress the plunger fast...it works PERFECTLY! And he also told me that it is ok to buy vitamins for Romeo, and if Rome likes the cheap Hartz vitamins at Wal-Mart better than the expensive FeliVites (or whatever they are called; I buy like ten a year at $15 a bottle, and they always go mushy before I can use them all, 'cos the only cats I own that will touch them are Rhett and Squooshable; Romeo refuses to eat them, period. So now I can go back to giving Rome the Cyproheptadine at home, and cut out the IM Valium and vitamin shots; Romeo has been costing me approximately $120 a week (around $90 - $150) at Dr Vet's since March with all the stuff I have to do to him. I don't resent paying it, but I would have appreciated some counselling on how to minimise costs.

I have to take a nap (I am -- again -- fighting to get crap out before Monday morning), but I am glad I posted. And now I *do* feel a bit guilty over messing with that ad, but seriously -- I would rather discourage people in Manhattan from emailing me pictures of their dicks.

Sigh.

.