Curses! Foiled again!

I have just one word:  Ebolamonkeyman.  But it’s too funny….  



Barrister williams whiteOkoye & Okoye Chambers23 kofo Abayomi AvenueApapa, Lagos - Nigeria.

Dear Ancodia,I hope this e-mail wouldn't come to you as a surprise. Having gone through your profile, I am convinced and pleased to solicit your sincere and urgent assistance over this matter. I am Barrister   Williams White, an Attorney to one late Mr. Smith J. Ancodia a local contractor with the Lagos State Government of Nigeria.
My client Late was awarded a contract worth of Twenty-Five  Million  United States Dollars (25,000,000:00USD) by the Lagos state Government of Nigeria for the maintenance and construction of roads in the states in 1999 and the contract was fully executed by my late client. My client has been paid  Fifteen Million United States Dollars from the contract and he was to receive the balance payment of the contract, but unfortunately he died with his  entire family in the plane crash of Union Transport Africaines Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin Republic on the December 26,2003. You will read more stories about the crash on visiting this website:
Www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/<http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/>
as he told me before he departed to Cotonou that he is going to spend the Christmas holiday with one of his closet Lebanese with his entire family and from there he will proceed home.
Sequel to the death of late client, there is every need to present a next of kin to Lagos State Government so that they can release the balance of his contract money. Already the CONTRACT PAYMENT OFFICE under the Lagos State Government has contacted me that the balance payment for the executed contract, which has been approved for payment, is ready for collection. I am therefore asked to present the beneficiary/next of kin for the claim of the money (draft) from their office.
At this juncture, I have decided to divert this Ten Million United States Dollars to a foreigner who will be presented to LSG, by soliciting the assistance of a reliable individual (A Foreigner) that will be presented as the beneficiary/next of kin of the fund. I will prepare all legal documents in your name as the successor /next of kin from our Federal High Court to back  up the claim on your behalf which will enable Lagos State Government to release the money to me on your behalf as the known next of kin to my late client.
As soon as I hear your positive response; action will commence. Please bear in mind that there is no risk involved in this transaction, but it requires absolute sincerity and confidentiality due to the nature of the transaction.
I am willing to give you 40% of the fund as a reward for your assistance in this transaction and I have set aside 5% of the money to take care of any expenses that will be involved locally or internationally during the process of executing the business. I will want you to respond to my email via below email address if you find it difficult geting this one,with your private phone numbers, fax number cell phone #, your home/Company'sAddress I look forward to your swift response.Regards,Barrister Williams White.
Alternative E-mail ID: white2@ciaoweb.it OR williamswhite@ciaoweb.it
Note: Having or bearing the same name with my client make no difference but for someone to come from his country that answer same name either first or surname matters not. Howevedr, it will make this claim very easy as I am going to present and submit your name as the next of kin and with me the Attorney to the late man you have nothing to fear as I will be contacted by the Contract Payment Committee for confirmation which I will confirm you as the next of kin and the money will be paid to you. Mind you, I work at Okoye & Okoye Chambers.
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My reply:

My Dearest Darling Snookums DJ Dub-Dub,

How nice it has been to hear from you again!  My goodness—I seem to have quite a few relatives that die over there, don’t I?  One might begin to wonder if I could possibly be knocking them all off with a profit motive, no?

With that in mind, I would like to state unequivocally that I had no direct hand in the Benin crash, nor did I employ any agent to hasten the...shall we say premature landing of that 727, and I resent the implication that such might be the case.  Repeating rumours of that nature has proven to be a mis-step on the part of many a well-meaning barrister.  And forty percent?  Sir, I am offended; that is a purchase of silence which borders on usury—yet another mis-play on your part.  

That having been said, as Mr Ancodia was such a close friend of yours and you have knowledge of the events leading up to his demise, I regret to inform you that, clearly, you are now in a unique, untenable, and unenviable position.  Essentially, fear not; my people shall contact your people.  Physically.

To make my job at this point easier, please respond to my enquiry with your home address and the name(s) and location(s) of all relatives who may also have knowledge of this situation, including children under the age of eighteen; they, after all, are the worst talkers.

Sincerely,
Ancodia Ancodia

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