Family Day

Ok, so I suck--I called in sick to work today. I feel like a bum, true, but...it's been months since I was out, maybe more than six. I went to this expo-type thing they were having downtown. It was great--it was a kind-of science/technology thing. I played with some of the exhibits. :-) I just basically wandered around there for a few hours, failed (pathetically) to find enough bravado to walk up and talk to a cute guy I saw there (so much for the New Me that's going to try to pick anyone up! I am such an idiot) and then went to talk with my father.


Our relationship isn't the greatest. Well, it's better these days, but he's stopped doing the things that made our relationship not-so-good. When he was married to my Mom, he was pretty abusive. These days, he just acts like it never happened. I guess I am ok with that. For years I didn't talk to him; I had kind of run away from home anyway (not that there was an actual home left, they were divorced, so I kind of ran away from home in theory), so there wasn't a lot of purpose in talking to him. I was angry at him for the way he had treated all of us, especially me and my Mom; we got the worst of it by far. Then, a couple of years ago, my younger sister started telling me every time she went to see him that he'd asked about me, and really wanted to see me and stuff, so when I moved to where the (sort-of) rest of my family was, I went to see him. He likes to talk a lot; he always has. He's actually very knowledgeable--he's a professional (read: doctor, lawyer, Indian chief, etc...), highly educated, and so on, and does have a lot to say in a legitimate sense. When he's being nice, I've never minded talking with him, or listening to him. So I guess in a way, I'm disappointed in myself for not sticking to my guns, as it were, and denying him the pleasure of my company for the rest of his life. On the other hand, I guess it's not such a big deal anymore. No one really cares. And I don't ask for or take any money from him, so it's not like I'm being a friendship-whore about it, or anything. For a long time, I figured that if I ever did get married, I'd have to do so after he was dead, because otherwise, he'd have to walk me down the aisle, or if I made alternate arrangements, he'd show up anyway, or...something else awful. In a way, this was a good thing. First, it kept me from marrying one person who was a jerk to me anyway. Second, the kind of life I want kept me from marrying someone who didn't want at least a semi-traditional wedding--I think I deserve at least that; it doesn't have to be anything fancy, but I do want a ceremony and stuff, it's the stupid romantic in me--so doing something like running off to a JoP was out of the question. Thirdly, I would be embarrassed really to go into all of the details as to why I wasn't going to have my father there, and my Mom never remarried, so I didn't have like, an alternate choice...I list this as a good thing because it kind of kept me from getting close to anyone I've dated so the not marrying wasn't a big deal. I know--I make no sense. Anyway, so I guess in the long run, any way he treated me is immaterial, and so whatever. One of the first times I went over there, his new wife pissed him off, and he turned to stare at her with one of those "I'm going to beat the shit out of you" looks, and it made me laugh. I mean, he's not going to do that to anybody--he's too old--and...well, I guess I'm immune to it. I mean, it didn't make me nervous or upset like it used to. It was weird. I guess you would have had to have been me and been there to understand.

So I drove out to visit him for about two hours. I guess he likes having someone to talk to, and it's not all that often I go, so I don't mind. He's doing fine. I guess that's good.

After I visited with my Father, I had to drive all the way across town to have dinner with my Mother. She'd found a new place to eat, and wanted to share. Check it out: halal Chinese food. No, I'm not kidding. In her own way, my Mom's cute. I should probably mention here, that we're not Muslim. Not even Middle Eastern. :-) We've got a moderate amount of Jewish, and I'm ok with kosher, I always _feel_ like the place is cleaner even if it maybe isn't, and I guess halal's not all that different, but...it's just the Weirdness That Is Mom. Leave it to her to find the only halal Chinese restaurant in the tri-state area. Possibly the world. :-) I mean, what's next? Vegetarian BBQ? Kosher Cuban? Now, in fairness to the restaurant, the food was awesome. I had a kick-ass orange chicken, and their "Chinese tea" was actually jasmine tea, which smelled and tasted _wonderful_, and everything was very pleasant. I didn't tell her about visiting my Father, though; that always upsets her, so I figure why mention it?

I had better get to sleep soon. I've spent the whole day doing not very much productive, but I think I needed the break.