I miss my old car. We understood each other. I am ragingly sad. This really sucks. I want to buy my old car back. I am really, really sad. I know it sounds stupid, but it's the truth. Right now, I wish I hadn't done this, and I feel like my car probably misses me. I actually did cry. Ok, so I'm stupid.
:-) I could sneak back onto the lot and go steal my old car back...I *do* have an old spare set of keys. And I know my old car would be so glad to see me...
Ok. I'm not going to do that. But I would like to buy my old car back. I could just drive it sometimes, so it doesn't feel unloved.
On a related note (bear with me on this one), I collect fortune cookie fortunes; I do this for a number of reasons, none of them good ones: first of all, I think they're the best kind of advice, if you're thinking through something. If you try to talk to someone about whatever it is you're thinking through, they're not going to listen to you, and when they do give their input, it's usually got some agenda behind it. With fortune cookie fortunes, you don't have that problem; true, they're not listening to you--but we've already established that your friends aren't either. What makes the fortune cookie's advice better is that it's without the hidden agenda (that plus it's trying at least to make you feel better about yourself). So it's like impartial, kind help--and that's always nice, even if it's wrong. My second reason is because I feel that fortune cookie fortunes are a good example of altruism. I mean, the person writing them is just trying to make people feel better--there's no ulterior motive. Well, I know that there's the ulterior motive of buying the fortune cookie, but to that I would point out that they're given out free in Chinese restaurants. Now I know that the next thing one could say is that the Chinese restaurants buy them because people like them, and so there's the profit motive. To that, I would just say "shut up". That may not have even occurred to them--they might be just doing it to be nice, and, Occam's Razor being what it is and all, we should look to the simpler explanation first before accepting all kinds of elaborate explanations involving middlemen mediating the relationship between the (non)purchaser and the nice little old Chinese guy sitting in a back room typing out helpful sayings on teensy pieces of paper with a typewriter that has red ink. So there. It's altruism, quod erat demonstrandum. Pfft.
Having established firmly that Chinese fortune cookie fortunes are good, impartial, altruistic advice, a third reason they are great is because they have lottery numbers. Now I know that the lottery is "a tax on ignorance", and blah, blah, blah. I actually rarely play it. I don't play because, first off, I am in agrees with Voltaire on this one--you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning than you have of winning. Secondly, assuming that we all think Voltaire's da bombest, thereby making it kind of a moot point, I don't play because I forget to. A lot. Like actually 99% of the time. I can't say that I would play more often if I did think there was a good chance I would win, because I think I would still forget. I'm just that way.
Butsoanyway (yes, that is *so* a word), as I was cleaning out my car, I found an old fortune cookie fortune. It had been there for a long, long time; it was wedged between the center console and the seat, towards the back. You would have to be practically tearing the car apart to have found it (which I might as well have been doing...ugh). So my Brilliant Plan (yes, it does *so* deserve capital letters!) is this: I'm going to remember to play the numbers in the next lottery, and they'll win. And then I'll take the money (well, a couple hundred dollars of it) and buy back my old car.
Brilliant, isn't it?
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2 comments:
Aaww~ That's okay. Everyone feels the same way you did when they sell their cars. Everything happens for a reason, and you wouldn't sell your car for nothing, right? Did you even plan on replacing your car? I'm curious as to whether or not you found another one to your liking.
I did. And it's paid off now, which is even more win. Hugs!
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