Kittenus interruptus

Well, so I feel useless.

Sunday I spent a few hours in a quasi-deserted Eviljob parking lot, trying to find the kitten cache (unsuccessfully), netting Mehitabel (I figured I could take her to be spayed and come back and hunt for kittens who would eventually start mewling in hunger), losing Mehitabel (I cursed a lot), trying to make amends with Mehitabel, and still looking for the kittens, and had no luck with any of it.

Yesterday I got to Eviljob early and tried again; no Mehitabel, no kittens…nothing. Then I started talking with someone who works in our cafeteria (this time, Mehitabel had them in the back of our building) who came out on a smoke break, and told me that one of the girls who works in the cafeteria was trying to catch the kittens. I figured she might know where Mehitabel was hiding them (because I am a velociraptor, Mehitabel is reluctant to show me where her babies are), so I went in and found out that she’d caught the babies on Saturday—the five that were left—and took them home. She lives outside of town on a small farm with her parents, loves animals, and has been bottle-feeding them. She plans to keep two, and thinks she won’t have a problem finding homes for the other three.

Yay.

I am happy, but… I am also feeling like…I don’t know. I kinda feel like those were *my* kittens. I have been feeding Mehitabel and keeping her watered. Me. I feel kind of useless. It’s an anti-climax. I wanted to cuddle a squooshable. :-\

And I even fucked up netting Mehitabel on Sunday. I cannot do ANYTHING right.

I got depressed, so I came home and hugged *my* Squooshable for a while.

And, of course, I don’t think it is rational to be upset. I mean, I am *happy* that they are taken care of; the girl really seems to be a competent, cat-loving person, and god knows that I have nowhere to put them, and no time to deal with them. It’s just…I don’t know. The emotional/time/money investment, feeling that no one but me does things right (a//k/a, being a control freak), really wanting to see the babies (which so far I have not, though I got to hear the little things once), and…I don’t know.

But so the good news is that the kittens are taken care of. And Girly took my number and promised that, if she has a problem placing any of the kittens, she will phone me. And if she catches Mehitabel she will phone me to come get her or drop her off at Dr Superhero’s and let me know. And I am going to keep trying.

Sigh.

And I don’t get to see the kittens. Pfft. Not that I asked to, or anything. Probably she would have said yes. I don’t know; I guess I am happy. Oh! And more good news—I saw Mr Cat, the Squooshdaddy!!!! He is alive and still hanging out in the parking lot. :-)

Tonight we played trivia at my old BW3 so that I could have a break from someone who keeps showing up to our games. But the good news is that I had a really good night.

Now I *have* to go to sleep…

.