What happens to my brain when I focus on one thing for too long...

I was creeped out enough by the previous episode that I phoned Barbara, my next-door neighbour (albeit 'next door' by a fair bit of distance) to ask if she'd heard Music Box Dancer, also.

Well, I'm not going to phone the Colonel on the other side of me; he's sort-of (good) humourless at times.

That was an ice cream joke. Yes, it was so a good one.

Butsoanyway.

Babs told me that she had not heard it, but that she thought it probably *was* an ice cream van. So in the spirit of research, I found a few things (1) Music Box Dancer (check out the last paragraph; I did not know that!); (2) This; and (3) This. Maybe the stuff I am working on is really boring, and there's a contrast effect going on, but I am finding this really interesting.

I think I have a new obscure interest that few find interesting in any way, shape, or form. Cool!

And I guess that it was an ice cream van, despite the peculiarity of the day, time, season, and so forth. It figures that my neighbourhood would have The Most Confused Ice Cream Van Driver of All Time.

**UPDATE**

Okay...I am thisclose to developing a freaky fetish ('cos we all know that many Freaky Fetishes are borne out of a paradoxical reaction to something which is off-putting, where an affinity is developed in a self-preservational sort of way, kind of like desensitisation through repeated exposure, and if we did not know that, well...now we do). I downloaded Lips Stained Blue (Uhhh…yeah, I *am* always gonna pick the goth-sounding one first; get used to it), and Ghetto Ice Cream Truck Song. Then I got up to get a drink, and forgot about the downloads.

LSB finished first when I was in the kitchen, and when it started playing, I nearly *died*. I spun around, dumping my soda on the counter, ready to kick some serious ice cream van ass. I mean, inside of one millisecond I was all jazzed up to administer a severe motherfucking beating to whatever was making that sound.

Yes, this is why ‘Codia doesn’t go into haunted houses at Halloween: people who jump out at her get hit. Hard. People who sneak up behind her get hit. Hard. Do not startle the ‘Codia; it reacts poorly, even to the point where it will attempt to kick the ass of an ice cream van.

Butsoanyway.

It took me a second to realise what it was; after I got over the adrenaline rush-induced swoon, I damn near wet myself laughing. I am *such* a doof! What flavour of imbecile cannot hold what they are downloading in their head for two minutes?

Uhhh, that would be *me*.

Weebie (who always follows me into the kitchen in the hopes of a handout) just looked at me as if she were saying, ‘I’m really sorry that you have so many mental problems. How about some tuna?’

And I now think ice cream van songs are cool as hell. Out of context, they sound freaky and strange.

Okay—now I *REALLY* have to quit screwing around and get back to work.

.

Okay, now I am creeped out...

It is Sunday afternoon, and the day is winding down. My neighbourhood is quiet, except for a basketball game being played in a neighbour's driveway (I am assuming it is basketball from the thump-thump-thump I hear with a basketball-like frequency; it could be a very thorough person bludgeoning another to death, but my plan is to tell the police I thought it was a basketball game). I hear a plane flying above, I hear my ceiling fan letting off its usual tick-tick-tick as it runs, I hear the wind rushing through the trees and pummelling my windows. I hear leaves being blown around, and every once in a while, a branch will bump something. I hear my computer making its usual whirs and chirps, though I have the volume down so that I can concentrate. I occasionally hear kitty feet padding hither and thither, and every so often I hear Squoosh (the noisiest member of our household) let out a 'MRRP!' or 'BRRP!'. I hear my refrigerator kick on every so often...

And I hear, just above an audible level, what sounds like a crappy MIDI cell phone ring tone of Music Box Dancer. And it has played through the *whole* song twice (ruling out the possibility of it being a cell phone or an ice cream van or something, not that there *are* ice cream vans that come by here at this time of day on a Sunday in this weather at this time of year, but I recognise that is one explanation...up to the point where it went through the whole song; not that I have taken copious notes, but I think ice cream vans usually loop just a little bit, at least all the ice cream vans I have heard).

Ok, wait--it gets weirder.

On the third pass through of Music Box Dancer, the tones (still barely audible--it took me a bit to recall the name of the song) got stuck about midway through, and repeated the same tone for about half a minute, and then continued on with the rest of the song. Then it went away -- I no longer hear it. The entire time, it was at the same volume level (which also kind of rules out a moving vehicle). With the exception of getting 'stuck', it played through the entire song three times, with a pause in-between each. I possess nothing which plays a spookycrappy, barely-audible MIDI of Music Box Dancer, even if I forgot to turn it off. Or whatever.

I think that I have been working too long, and I am hallucinating. Or maybe I have a brain cloud.

Sigh.

.

Dealing With Disaster

Augh. I am trying to fix something that is soooooo messed up it is unreal. I gave a list of items to another person, and instead of just doing them all up in the manner they were received, this person decided, in all their undergrad wisdom, to 'fix' them (cos of course, it's not possible that I might know what I am doing, or at least have put it in a way that *I* understood it).

Oh, I am just angry; I should have checked this, but I was too busy.

Sigh.

So now I am paying for it -- big time -- by having to go through BY HAND and re-work everything. And this sucks.

There's scads of other stuff going on, but I cannot attend to any of it; I have to wade through this shit first. And it has to be finished today -- did I mention that?

Some brief Other News stuff: I have to go get a lung scan for that Creeping Respiratory Crud I had over the holidays, 'cos I'm still wheezing (according to my doctor; I can't hear wheezing, though I am still coughing occasionally). Yay. Scans. I will try to do that maybe tomorrow. Sigh.

.

Feline Physics

Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair of a color in inverse proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable as possible for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

Law of Cat Elongation - A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction - A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration - A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation - Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Milk Consumption - A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing - A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement - A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

.

yay

Cookie is feeling better!

.

Poor Cookie...

She ate a little early this morning, and just barfed a little bit again.  I gave her her quarter of a Tagamet, and hopefully that will settle her stomach.  I did give her more vitamin paste today and she ate that, so at least she's getting *something* in her.  She is still alert and active, though I can tell she doesn't feel well; she just seems a little sick-ish.  But she is still very responsive and purring occasionally.  I am hoping this is just some  48-hr bug, like humans have.  Rhett has been with her the whole time (good luck keeping him away), and he's not sick at all, though.  But that does it--no more human food for at least Cookie, if not all of them.  If I can get out of work early, I might get her over to Dr Vet to get another shot of whatever anti-emetic he gave her, 'cos I cannot believe she's happy barfing, even if it is only a tiny bit every 6 to 12 hours. 

Well, ok--in the past 24 hours, it's only been once, but you get my point. 

.

Cookie Update!

Cookie is still not eating. :-\ I stopped off at PetsMart to get more Squoosh Chow, and picked up some feline vitamin paste crap that (allegedly) tastes like tuna, so when Cookie wouldn't eat the i/d (I gave her almost an hour), I put some of the paste on her paw, and she did lick that off. She also took her quarter-of-a-Tagamet, and drank water.

Sigh. I hope she is better tomorrow.

As per Dr Vet's instructions, I put food and water back down for her (and Rhett). She's still active, eyes bright and clear, purring, responsive...she just doesn't want to eat. Maybe Dr Vet is right, and the lobster I fed her on Friday was what did it (I brought some back for everyone)? Or had some Cookie-hating bacteria or viruses on it? But Rhett, Squoosh, Weebie, and Romeo ate some too, and they are all fine. So I don't know. I just hope she is better tomorrow.

And the disease Dr Vet tested for is panleukopenia (and I have probably misspelt it something horrible; I will check later and fix it), which is distemper, and which Cookie has already been vaccinated for in her FVRCP vaccines, or however that acronym goes.

Butsoanyway.

I am on the fence as to whether or not I like Monday's late class because the prof is an unrepentant holist. It gets fairly frustrating at times, 'cos, well, there *are* other opinions out there.

Just pointing that out.

This may end up being another BOOP semester in this respect. Augh.

.

One sick Cookie

Cookie barfed yesterday evening and then barfed again this morning, so I took her to the vet. Last night I phoned Dr Superhero, who was swamped (he runs a 24-hr emergency clinic that is an alternative to the 'real' local 24-hour pet hospital) and said to just pull food & water from her, and let her sleep unless she barfs again, in which case bring her in. Cookie wasn't eating (I had even tried to tempt her with Science Diet's a/d, and she turned her nose up at it), but she had been drinking a little, and was otherwise alert and normal, so I just let her be.

When I got to Dr Vet's this morning, they did blood work and tested her for feline pan-something (which is a virus), and the pan-whatever test came back the wrong colour the first time, and so they had to re-do it, and then it came back negative (I have to remember after class tonight to look up whatever that is, 'cos after the first false alarm one, Dr Vet totally told me he didn't want to discuss that with me unless or until it came back positive, and he knows how I am, so it must be pretty bad). Since I had to call out of work (both jobs) for this, I asked them to go ahead and x-ray her also, just to make sure that everything was ok. My rationale there was that if there *is* something wrong with her, I need to find out *today*, not tomorrow when I'm back swamped, and she's half-dead. So they did the pan-whatever blood test, pre-surgery blood work (this will be her pre-spay blood work in a week or so; we just got it out of the way now, in case it was abnormal), and x-ray, and physical. She has a little fever (it was 104 I think, but it went down after some shot), and so Dr Vet said that Cookie may have a little tummy upset, or a flu of some kind, but she's ok.

He gave her a shot of Tagamet, and of something that starts with a C to keep her from vomiting and/or being unhappy tummy-wise, and also a shot of antibiotics (just in case), and sub-cutaneous fluids. And so I got i/d (the bland diet Science Diet one) to feed her at about 8p tonight; until then, she is on no food/water. I think i/d is the feline version of a BRAT diet. :-) Her x-ray showed some gas and some poop on its way out, but not anything else of interest, and Dr Vet said the gas is normal and is probably because of the vomiting, and the poop is even more normal. :-) So she just caught a bug of some kind, it looks like.

Rhett was screaming and crying for Cookie (he *HATES* being separated from her!), so I asked Dr Vet if it was ok to put Rhett in with Cookie and he said yes, so Rhett is happy now...sigh. What a big mook he is!

I am getting ready for a class tonight that runs late, and I hate leaving Cookie, but she seems ok. I still have not decided if I like this class, or not. Whee.

Ok...laterz.

Welcome back, Catter!

Ancodia: Hi, Catty! How are you?
Cat: How you respond reveals a great deal of where you are in the moment.

Ancodia: Very true! In this current moment, I would be in Bohegan. How 'bout you?
Cat: It would be cheaper for the US government to just continue to pay those workers their current wage than it would be to run protectionist schemes to allow them to keep their jobs.

Ancodia: If they just pay them their current wage, isn't that tantamount to allowing them to keep their current jobs? Huh?
Cat: Texas' current senators are John...

Ancodia: My memory fails, also. But fine, unforgettable men, all of them!
Cat: With the same wicked humor, buoyant charm, and optimism that have made her Shopaholic novels beloved international bestsellers, Sophie Kinsella delivers a hilarious new novel and an unforgettable new character.

Ancodia: ...and her name is Ancodia, hmmm?
Cat: Her Name is Cat was supposed to be the movie that launched her career.

Ancodia: Shameless plug there, Catty.
Cat: Needless to say, there aren't too many Best Buy stores along the Afghan/Pakistani frontier, so it's not like I can just run right out and buy a new camcorder battery.

Ancodia: Complain at Best Buy's website. How's the Affy/Paki border doing as far as Ikea stores?
Cat: Visit their website at: www. fortune500killers. org.

Ancodia: Ok.
Cat: Or how about more recently, in 1999 and 2000, when riot police beat up, arrested, tear-gassed, and shot with rubber bullets peaceful protestors at the Seattle WTO demonstration or those at the Democratic National Convention and Republican National Convention in 2000?

Ancodia: ...Ikea was having a sale?
Cat: Having the IRC channels being listed on web pages would allow each channel to have it's own well routing small net.

Ancodia: Then on to Step Four: WORLD DOMINATION!!
Cat: I've read better Nazi world domination novels.

Ancodia: Well, maybe--but I doubt they included the Internet.
Cat: With the internet and everyone is gonna have this kind of communication center in the house.

Ancodia: But do we *want* them to? I mean, the world is full of freaks, Cat.
Cat: But having the half-naked man himself inscribed on the wall wasnt enough for Rare, and setting 300 ant heads as the price, players were able to shoot the living crap out of Mr Pants in a specially designed world where Pants became the hunted.

Ancodia: Damn it! 300 ant heads? What were they *thinking*? I paid less than that at the last Ikea sale!
Cat: Sometimes circumstances lead even the best of us to have a less than desirable credit rating.

Ancodia: True, and I guess if your credit is bad, you're stuck paying 300 ant heads. Is that what you mean?
Cat: Your site is linked via a third party tracking program so there's be no need to worry about not getting what you pay for.

Ancodia: I'm still not paying you in ant heads.
Cat: What priority do you place on your selection above?

Ancodia: well, Priority One is not touching anything icky.
Cat: If you find anything personally offensive, tell him why it is and he will remove it forthwith.

Ancodia: Ummm...ok. I find it offensive that in this day and age people are still resorting to trafficking in insect parts just because of bad credit.
Cat: We were trying for that very hard, but part of the credit is due to Ernie Jacobson whose talents as a producer were considerable, and still are.

Ancodia: How many ant heads does he charge?
Cat: I take this to mean that our friends in some way reflect the kind of person we are, so it is a good tip to take a look at the people we call our friends and to see if that is the kind of image of ourselves we want the world to see.

Ancodia: I marvel at how you read between the lines of what I wrote to wrest the Deeper Meaning, Cat. That's profound.
Cat: Manage alerts | What is this?

Ancodia: ummm...managing alerts, mebbe?
Cat: In addition to me, the editorial board members are Tribune publisher Jim Elsberry, opinion page editor Nancy Nemec, managing editor Randy Bangert, assistant managing editor Kelly Tracer, city editor Kim Spencer, copy desk chief Kristen Wright, sports editor Nate Haas, Windsor editor Julie Piotraschke, business editor Tom Hacker and circulation director Michelle Frounfelker.

Ancodia: You being on an editorial board frightens the fuck out of me, Cat. On second thought though, I've read In Style, and find the idea not all that surprising.
Cat: So, Dual Board SAG/Aftra Members Get Two Votes and 44,000 Dual SAG/Aftra General Members Get One?!

Ancodia: And all the ant heads they can carry!
Cat: Based upon the Northeast blackout and the west coast wild fires, can you afford to be without it?

Ancodia: I don't think so.
Cat: Although I didn't notice anything about it in the DVD ReBuilder rebuilder. txt file, his suggestion made me look harder and I found that this guide on the Doom9 forum http://forum. doom9. org/showthread. php? s=&threadid=74308 states very clearly that DVD ReBuilder doesn't work with MPEG2DEC3 versions later than 1.01.

Ancodia: Those scamming bastards!
Cat: View Full Version: Ever Get One of those Weird Occurances in Life?

Ancodia: Constantly, Cat.
Cat: As well as printing the latest news in each issue, NB also provides its subscribers with access to a constantly updated website with summaries of all previous findings, plus updates and subscriber feedback.

Ancodia: Considering that they have a subscribership of one, that's not hard to pull off.
Cat: It is a natural step from associating womanhood with sexual violence to considering a woman as a sexual object.

Ancodia: Especially with the tie-in between violence and objects--I mean how many times have you threatened to beat someone to death with a baseball bat? See?
Cat: Others challenge you especially if they feel threatened or jealous.

Ancodia: ...but not when I have a baseball bat in my hand, hence my point...
Cat: O that in the back, Officer???

Ancodia: What I'm sayin'!
Cat: How do I know if I have the plan that's right for me?

Ancodia: If you're rolling in ant heads, Cat.
Cat: How do you as a Christian determine just what commands are principles that Christians must obey and which ones are Laws that Christians don't have to obey?

Ancodia: I don't as a Christian--I do it as an Agnostic. And as an agnostic, I say 'who knows'?
Cat: And I personally think that the Atheist/Agnostic part of the Philosophy board is redundant.

Ancodia: You are getting tripped up by both of them starting with the letter A, aren't you?
Cat: And people will forever question who you are.

Ancodia: ...if you allow spelling to confuse you...
Cat: Spelling and grammar corrections are niggling and petty, but also useful.

Ancodia: And funny, if when you correct them you spell 'grammar' as 'grammer'.
Cat: If you have them, you may be having an allergic reaction to AGGRASTAT.

Ancodia: Or ant heads.
Cat: I'm not suggesting you go overboard but if your emails sound, act and look like everybody else's emails, what's the value in doing business with you rather than them?

Ancodia: ummm...I'm cuter?
Cat: Mikey STILL cuter!

Ancodia: The hell he is!
Cat: Excuse me but....: lol WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!??!?!

Ancodia: Me defending myself against your suggestion that Mikey the neener-head is cuter than I am!
Cat: Looking back on the experiences of violence and anti-social behavior as I reacted against all males in both a job related manner and in social encounters.

Ancodia: Put your clothes back on, Cat.
Cat: Do you know who the leader of your country is?

Ancodia: Clueless. Do you know?
Cat: Used parenthetically in conversation, as to fill pauses or educe the listener's agreement or sympathy: Please try to be, you know, a little quieter.

Ancodia: ::whispering:: okay. do you know?
Cat: If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.

Ancodia: Or ant heads.
Cat: Do you want to communicate the same message as your competitors?

Ancodia: Yes! No! Maybe! ummm...SPLUNGE!!
Cat: Maybe you don't know anyone going through this thing.

Ancodia: Splunge again?
Cat: Again, use your up/down scroll key to navigate to the desired drink and hit OK/select button.

Ancodia: ::quaff quaff: Awesomeness!
Cat: We also want to add some fur to his head so using your push tool again same settings as before using the same method.

Ancodia: But I don't want to drink something with a furry head!
Cat: Now, we drink Pepsi, and we make drinking water, one of the most basic human processes, seem special by putting it in a nice bottle and charging a price that implies something unusual was done to it.

Ancodia: But that doesn't lead into the furry-headed drink thing, Cat.
Cat: Are you looking for music that's appropriate for worshipping the Lord?

Ancodia: oddly, no.
Cat: But, S-Video!?

Ancodia: I can worship the Lord with S-Video? Cool!
Cat: Customers with Automatic Updates enabled will receive the latest security updates for Windows XP, along with updated installation software that will optimize the download experience of Service Pack 2 and all future updates to Windows XP.

Ancodia: What does that have to do with worshipping the Lord, though?
Cat: In contemporary wildlife studies, we learn that the raven prefers to live in the wild, in the untrammeled places called wilderness where human populations are transitory and temporary; the crow on the other hand, often seeks out the rural and urban habitat in close occupancy with humans.

Ancodia: Oh. It's all clear to me now.
Cat: Make sure that, whatever you include, it's clear, concise and relevant and that it sells YOU to your potential employer.

Ancodia: Splunge.
Cat: What should it look like?

Ancodia: ummm...hair on top?
Cat: Now that's a kiss..

Ancodia: Ok, a 'kiss' of hair.
Cat: Why is it any of your damn business WHY I'm a heartless bitch?

Ancodia: Cat, you're wigging out; it's time for me to go.
Cat: Come on everybody, it's time for the Greatest Show on Earth!

Ancodia: w00t
Cat: Then if i decided to i could sell my hou se in the UK and get some propertys in Cairo to rent out?

Ancodia: Get some on the Affy/Paki border, right next to the Ikea!
Cat: E allora il problema e' proprio il sistema di creazione del denaro per mezzo del debito che genera i problemi finanziari delle imprese e che sta dimostrando tutti i suoi limiti in questablished ultimi anni.

Ancodia: damn straight!
Cat: Damn straight, kid.

Ancodia: Aight.
Cat: Right, Dick?

Ancodia: I *said* aight!
Cat: My bus came, and I said good-bye, and I knew that this was the last time we would sit together.

Ancodia: ::sniffle:: Bye, Cat. for now. Thanks for the business lessons--I know you meant well.
Cat: Now admit it Dea, who came in second for the award?

Ancodia: First loser, Cat. And don't call me Dea. Now g'night.
Cat: Laure M- you'll always be a good friend and you can call me anytime.

Ancodia: ::kiss:
Cat: I just don't care if a man get disappointed when there's no sex on the first date, why should I?

Ancodia: dunno, Cat. Laterz.
Cat: What do you get when you cross a cat, a dog, and an A+?

Ancodia: Ok--last one. What?
Cat: Secondly, have an idea of what you would like your web site to look like, what you want to share w/ the world, what all info/photos/etc that you want on there, and so forth.

Ancodia: Forget it. Bye, Cat.
Cat: Lets not forget all of these other great FPS/ TPS that will be on live either this year or early next year.

Coolness!

Meg is taking me out to dinner at one of my favourite restaurants just
cos she is being nice, i guess. She's been away so much recently that
i forget how nice she can be. :-) well, sometimes. Speaking of food, i
was in meetings all day at Job 2, but i swung by Eviljob on my break
to put food out for the cats, and guess who was waiting for me?
Breakfast. He reminded me that it was *lunch* now, and he had been
waiting since, well, breakfast. I apologised and he almost came close
to me--almost. He still stays far away from me, so grabbing him is
out; I'll have to trap him. One more meeting, then food. Yay. Double
yay considering i haven't had a chance to eat today, and i'm at the
point where even Breakfast's breakfast is starting to look good.

It is a common song down our way...

I'm including the lyrics to the Eddie & The Hot Rods song Teenage Depression here 'cos I've already had one email and one comment unfamiliar with the song:


Well I'm spending all my money and its going up my nose
My Daddy's found me out and he's tearing up my clothes
My probation man says you know you ought to quit
I said now don't you hang me up now with none of that shit

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out

Same thing every day, well I can't get out of bed
Too many questions there confusing up my head
I can't stand the thought of another day at school
But I know the weekend's coming so I gotta keep my cool

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out

It really makes me mad when they always ask me why
That I never comb my hair and I never wear a tie
School teacher bugging me it's the same old thing
Get out of my way I need another shot of gin

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out

Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession
Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession
Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession
Got the teenage depression, It's becoming an obsession

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out , Look out
I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about
If you don't know what I mean then you better look out , Look out!

breakfast is the most important meal of the day...

I am hurry-up-and-waiting at Job 2 right now. We are trying to combine
a few different types of software--sensing devices--into one, and it's
going difficultly. :-) i swung by Eviljob to feed the cats this
morning, but i didn't see either of the two remaining kittens (from
Rhett and Cookie's litter), but i think they were hiding out cos of
the weather. I have named the tuxedo kitten Black Toe, cos he has one
black toe (most of Mehitabel's children do), and i had named the
tiger-striped one 'Tiger', but changed his name to Breakfast, cos he
is always coming out to meet me in the mornings, talking and telling
me that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. :-) as soon
as i get a morning free, i really need to grab Breakfast. He seems
like such a nice cat. Ok... Any minute now, everyone should be ready
for our meeting...Gah.

I got the teenage depression that's what I talk about, If you don't know what I mean then you better look out...

Ok... At least i am not walking around with a To-Do list which
includes 'kill myself', as one of my Job 2 cohorts has constructed for
himself. :-) ha, ha... Ok, true, morbid. But funny. I'm not alone.

Look! She's back!

Ohhh...I feel as if I haven't slept in a month.  I saw Mehitabel today, though--she's been MIA for probably close to two weeks.  Well, at least I haven't *seen* her for that long; she's probably been just hiding from me.  She looked fine.  I have a major case of guilt about not being able to do anything other than feed her, but right now I do not know where the time would come from. 

I am back to swamped, and have three large things that I have to accomplish this week.  And it did not help at all that in my marathon Tuesday class with out HoD that I kept falling asleep.  And oh, yeah--he noticed.  Great. 

I feel as if I am about to become seriously depressed, and I don't know what to do about it. 

.

Getting the hell out of Dodge...

I'm taking a long weekend with Meg. I'd thought that i wouldn't,
but...i did. I put Harry in charge of feeding the cats at Eviljob, and
bought a tank of gas for him so that he's committed. Meg and I are
playing poker, of course. I needed a break, and this is the only one i
may get before March. This past week blew; i found out that there was
a mis-communication of expectations (and abilities) 'twixt my group
and a group of engineers, and that made for a suck-ass time, for the
most part. I wish that i could work my schedule around these trips
like Meg does, so that i wasn't feeling like i was stealing time or
sneaking off...sigh.

I Don't Think That Word Means What You Think It Means Dep't:

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Slogan for 2007: Feel The Dream!

Cats have a bad name as predators. Most cared-for domesticated cats DON'T kill. Many cats have to kill for food, and others serve a *purpose* by killing (who else can rid your barn of mice without pesticides or messy traps?). Well cared-for cats may live their whole lives without ever killing (I happen to own five, unless you count the lizard or two Squoosh, Rhett, and Cookie may have eaten before I caught them), which is a fact that completely escapes people who hate cats.

And even if cats *were* a problem, should we solve the problem by hunting and killing them, or poisoning them inhumanely? How human-like does that make us? *WE* created the problem. *WE* don't spay/neuter; *WE* abandon house pets when they are no longer 'cute'; *WE* have one senseless litter after another to 'witness the miracle of birth', and all that shit...we do all that. Not the kitties.

And guess what? They are DESIGNED to kill. That's what those claws, teeth, and cute butt-shakes are all about. It's NATURE — not your personal amusement — that is being served. Killing. That's what they are there for. Cope. Getting angry at a cat for killing a bird is like getting angry at a lion for killing a gazelle, or getting angry at a gorilla for ripping the arm off a moron who sticks their hand in the gorilla cage at the zoo—that’s what they *do*. Get over it. And that’s why people who take big cats out of their native habitat and bring them into populated areas are rampaging fucktards—the whole world is not Disneyland, and it hasn’t been sanitised for your protection. Like, uhh, duh. Plus, people who do that are being *really* cruel and unfair to the cats.

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t even have to mention any of this.

Cats are amazing animals--you can completely ignore them, and they can fend for themselves (mostly). They can feed themselves, entertain themselves, and even heal themselves (somewhat). Maybe that's why some insecure people are so damned afraid of them--they don't need us. No, not at all, really. We're just gravy...when we're behaving, that is.

In addition to hating people who hate cats, I hate people who conduct BAD SCIENCE. You can ask anyone—I have a tich of rabies towards self-styled ‘scientists’ who engage in something that resembles actual research enough that the average person cannot tell the difference.

And that brings us to This. Make sure that you listen to it—I really want you to figure out why it is Bad Science before I tell you.

Done? Ok. Now let me guarantee that although I try to be nice to everyone, sometimes one must be shocked out of one’s own personal Fantasyland. Rest assured that if I were tasked with the raising up right of some undergrad who tried to sell me on this ‘research’, they’d be walking out of my office with an assignment to write a report (minimum twenty references, single-spaced, thank you very much) on biased sampling, selection bias, ascertainment bias, experimental design, and their roles in the pseudo-intellectual jack off session they had just dragged me into as an unwilling participant.

And they’d probably be doing it with their hands full of shredded protocol.

And I say undergrad ‘cos I really cannot bear the thought of anyone higher up the Food Chain doing such a thing. That might call for defenestration.

Well, in my book. But I digress.

This ‘survey’ is a heaping pile of shit for a ton of reasons, but the easiest one to kvetch about is the god damned bias running rampant throughout the entire thing. Is this a ‘scientific’ study? Oh, fuck no. Is this a study that will get public attention, and may even play a role (albeit irresponsibly) in some type of public policy? Oh, hell yeah. Is this irresponsible as can be?

…don’t even get me started.

Why is it biased? Well, when people are in charge of whether or not they will respond, you aren’t getting an actual random sample. All long and boring explanations aside, in proportion to those who ‘qualify’ to participate, few will in fact participate. This is similar to the reason why companies like rebates as opposed to just giving you your discount at the register—most people just simply won’t fill them out and send them in, so you think you are getting a deal (and really, in your heart, you *do* intend to mail the rebate in), and then the rebate expires, or you decide that it is too much work, or you lose the receipt…and so on. The people who will go out of their way to report an attack are, bluntly, inclined to have an agenda. And that is on top of the people who aren’t aware of the survey in the first place, and/or don’t have Internet access, and so forth.

Oh, I could go on…

In short, what I would urge everyone to do is to go to their stupid website: HorseShit Survey and give them non-biased data. Though that will be hard to do, ‘cos there’s only ‘owl’ or ‘hawk’ for predator birds (and ‘Other’), and there’s absolutely *no* space to report my being dive-bombed by a blue jay or shat upon by a pigeon, ‘cos I guess that’s just ‘cute’ behaviour.

So if you see a cat do something helpful like killing a rat, report it—that looks better for the cats, and god only knows enough bird-loving, A(H5N1)-infested twits will be reporting every sighting *they* encounter, down to Sylvester popping Tweety into his mouth on the Cartoon Channel (‘ummm…yeah—I saw it at 5:15pm, then it was re-run at 11:15pm, and TV Guide says it’s going to be on again this Saturday! That’s THREE sightings!!’).

…not that I think that those kinds of people have an agenda, or anything.

And I will have you know that I was *sorely* tempted to file reports of Snuffalupagus maulings at local urban QuickeeMarts. I’m thisclose to declaring war on these idjits, because if they really did believe there was a problem, and they really *did* care, they would get off their asses and HELP—go feed some stray cats regularly; help get some adopted; help get free spay/neuter clinics up and running. Be a part of the fucking solution. But no—they just want to go hunt kitty cats. I think that with These Types it’s not so much about *solving* a problem as it is about anger, misguided attempts at revenge, and looking for a quick fix—in other words, infantile rage mixed with pure laziness.

But seriously—this shit makes my Immature Self want to start my own website dedicated to creating a public panic about Bird Flu…followed, of course, by a quick ‘survey’ assessing public concern about the issue (once I have educated them as to the threat), and the public’s openness to shooting any and all birds on sight to avoid having Avian Flu run rampant in North America. I’d post invitations to my survey on any parenting website I could find, pointing out the imminent threat to children, who play outside where birds fly at school, in parks, even in their own back yard!

…and who wouldn’t want their children to be safe in their own god damned back yard? I mean, really, now. Ummm…diseased birds, kids; diseased birds, kids…hmmm. Tough choice, there.

And then I would phone the press about *my* ‘study’. Who wants to bet I could win this one?

Sheesh…always take the apple pie issue. Always. Don’t these bird-brains know *anything*?

A bird-free North America by 2008, folks. Feel The Dream.

:-D

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The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Ideally, this will be a quick post, ‘cos I have a few things to finish, then I have to start thinking about sleep.

I think I had a good day. It’s rare when that happens, which is why I am uncertain. :-D

One of the things that I had to do today was go pay homage to my HoD, to ask for an exception to one thing, and permission for another, and etc, etc.; he said yes to everything (!!!), and that was in spite of the fact that I had been stalking him (and my advisor) outside of a department meeting that turned quite ugly. Thank god no one decided to take their shit out on me. I hate it when that happens, because I have had such a hard time getting everyone in one place over the past two terms that I was finally left with no alternative then to bribe one of the girls in the office, who phoned me to tell me that Everyone would be at this meeting, and give me the time and place. I just parked my ass outside the room around the corner and read for two hours (all the time tuning out the occasional voice-raising so that I didn’t process anything I was hearing—that’s none of my business), and when I heard them breaking up (HoD has a very distinctive accent), I rounded the corner and did a ‘fancy meeting *you* here!’ schtick.

Oh, whatever—we all know that I am going to Hell already.

Butsoanyway.

So I left my advisor trying to apologise to another prof whom I love (I *so* do not want to know what that was all about), and went to speak with HoD, which is a scary thing. It wasn’t a bad talk, really. He gave me everything I was requesting (we’ll see if my mouth is writing checks my ass can’t cash, as it were, later) with one small exception, and I have a feeling that one thing may be unimportant later. I *think* he paid me a compliment at one point (he is hard to read) when he told me to always be honest, because everything rests on one’s reputation, and without a descent reputation, others will not extend themselves for you (said as he was extending himself). Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I am scrupulously honest (with the exception of the occasional Social White Lie), so I’ll take his comment as a compliment where he is acknowledging that fact, thank you very much.

So, with the exception of a little bit of paperwork and making it through a few classes, I am thisclose to being done. Gah. I’m frightened!

In Other News, I believe that I am getting sick again—a return of the jungle rot that landed me on Ketek. My ears are back clogged up, my throat hurts again, I have a headache, and I’m coughing and sneezing. If I sit on it like I did before, it will become a lower respiratory infection, too—I have around a week-ish before I am back with the wheezing and railing cough. So I have made an appointment with an ENT, but I think that I have discovered the source of my ills. Though I don’t want to tell the ENT what it is, ‘cos he’ll probably yell at me.

Ummm…that would be kissing Rhett Butler, ‘cos he likes to lie in his litter box.

Rhett Butler likes to kiss—I didn’t teach him to do it, either; just like Squooshable, Rhett likes to kiss your chin, mouth, and nose. Maybe it’s a genetic thing with them, or maybe Mehitabel teaches her babies to kiss on the mouth; I don’t know. But they both like doing it, it means a lot to them (it’s a bonding thing), only Rhett likes to roll around (and often sleep) in his litter box, and Squooshable doesn’t. Before Squoosh, I had never met a cat who actually tried to kiss in the mouth/nose/chin area. It’s kinda cute, provided you don’t have any freaky hang-ups about cat spit. And although I don’t, I can totally understand if someone else does. Meg has a BIG freaky hang-up about cat spit, and thinks I am gross. But growing up, I used to get in trouble all the time for kissing cats (on their fur) and other stuff. I’m a kissy kind of person; Meg (and the rest of my family) isn’t. :-) To each his own.

But the point is that I have to come up with an alternative to letting Rhett kiss me on the mouth, at least until he stops rolling around in his litter box.

Oh, quit saying ‘eeewww!’; I can hear you. ;-)

Speaking of Rhett Butler, he’s blue. Cookie says that is because he is too stoopid to be a right colour for a cat. But seriously—he’s a silver-blue colour. And his nose is not black, orange, or pink—it’s *blue*. I have some swatches from Glidden (one of my mini-projects in the next few months is going to be painting a few things around the house), and Rhett’s nose is the same colour as one of the blue swatches! It’s a kind of blue-black, ‘true navy’ kind of blue…but it’s still blue. A blue nose. Weird.

Cookie: He’s SO STOOPID…I don’t know how much more of this I can take! He’s not even the right colour for a cat! Gaahd!

Rhett: MAAAH!

I had thought that I might have to bail out of Eviljob this semester, but it looks like I might be able to hang on for a few more months, though I have resolved to cut the string at the first sign of trouble or schedule conflict. This wouldn’t be too bad in that it would be a decent enough excuse to back down this dating-thing thing I wandered into. If nothing else, I am going to beg off as being too busy and let that be it, which isn’t too far from the truth. I mean, I probably could make time, but if Something Horrid happens (like failing Quals), I would be kicking myself. Literally.

In addition, I had a weird and complex kind of revelation over Break; I was watching Foul Play (I just *adore* Goldie Hawn), and realised that Mr Guy has a lot of the same characteristics as Stanley Tibbets. Which isn’t a major revelation, but is in the sense that, well… Take for example something like kissing under the mistletoe; when someone launches that at you, one assumes that it’s a heartfelt and/or cute thing, not just a normal, run-of-the-mill dopey, ‘I’m looking for an excuse to snog you’ thing. And that leads me to wonder where exactly that line is. I mean, where is the difference in wanting your Someone to have some cool experience, and doing the turning on the rotating bed and dropping the disco ball? That’s a hard one to call, and I am not sure I really feel like figuring it out. Motivation plays a part, but…who in the hell knows another’s true motivation(s)? And then there is the issue of how important it is that it is you…I mean, would it be the same were you anyone else? Or…

I am eventually going to have to put serious thought on this, but I just don’t feel like it right now; I have a headache. My neck is also massively stiff, and it hurts. Whine.

Butsoanyway.

I also found out today that my one journical that was being co-authored into the ground was rejected, and I couldn’t be happier, frankly—this gives me total justification for going around my co-authors and either re-writing it myself, or branching off on my own and writing my own prequel that would better establish what in the crap I had originally meant before I had so many opinionated cooks helping out with my broth. When I read the email this morning, I was a little upset, then I realised that I’m not upset at all; I have nothing else that I can use as a ‘see, I told you so’. It is things like this that really emphasise to me that I work better *alone*, or at least in very small groups.

Well, on some things.

So that becomes one *additional* task for this semester. Yay. This is going to be a rough year, but *damn* will it be worth it when it’s over. Oh, yeah. :-)

I think.

I am watching House of the Dead 2 as I am working (I started off just doing a short post, then ended up multi-tasking), and lord, it is god-awful. :-) I love it. Maybe next they’ll let Mrs Griffith’s grade six gifted class make part three. Christ. Or Rhett Butler. MAAAH!

And I have to really wrap things up. More kvetching about journicals later. :-)

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Welcome to 2007!

In 2007…

1. Will you be looking for a new job?
I am *perpetually* looking for something to replace Eviljob, albeit in a really half-hearted, lacklustre way. Replace Job 2? Nevvah. Not for a little while, at least.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
Ehhh… No. Not actively. I mean, with whose time, right? The one I am sorta in is bad enough.

3. New house?
No, quite happy with the one I have.

4. What will you do different in 07?
Differently? Ok—sorry. Perhaps I will try to correct others less. :-) I will try—TRY—to attend more to my own health and welfare, and less on the health and welfare of people who aren’t worth the investment of my time. And focus on those who *are* worth it, of course.

5. New Years resolution?
To try to be a little better to myself, and quit putting off taking care of *me*. And to be ABD (C. Phil.) by January, 2008 (technically late November/December, ’07 after my Quals and Specials), come Hell or high water. Score! :-D

6. What will you not be doing in 07?
Getting married, having kids, kicking puppies, selling internal organs on eBay, prostitution, getting more (pet) cats, starting my own auction website to get *rid* of cats and calling it catBay, plagiarising, staging a hostile takeover of Citigroup, or failing Quals (I hope).

…what the hell kind of question is this?!?

7. Any trips planned?

Oh, yeah. I skipped out on Tunica in Jan (like, right now—where Meg is) because I didn’t have time to go off and play, but I will be back in Reno/Tahoe in March. End of pleasure tripping; I haven’t planned out any further than March yet. On the non-pleasure side, it looks like I will have to skateboard over to San Diego, Pennsylvania, and Virginia. Though I will try to snake out of those, as I always try…and sometimes manage. :-D

8. Wedding plans?
Mine, or someone else’s? Mine, no. Christ; how can I attain Total World Domination if I’m going off and getting married? Hmm?

9. Major thing on your calendar?
Too many to think about; I’ve covered my calendar in cement and locked it in a drawer ‘cos I could no longer stand to see it hanging on the wall, mocking me. Two HUGE meetings in Feb./March, a biggie tomorrow, and so on, and so on…BWAAH!

10. What can’t you wait for?
Peace. Quiet. To be finished. The 2007 Holiday Season.

11. What would you like to see happen different?
Differently? Oh, there I go—I’ve broken a resolution already. ;-) I would like to see Some Miracle (ANY miracle—I’m not picky) occur and the problem of the parking lot cats at Eviljob be solved.

12. What about yourself will you be changing?
I don’t know. I am hoping for a general positively-directed change. :-)

13. What happened in 06 that you didn’t think would ever happen?
I took in two new cats—Rhett Butler and Cookie. I got hired on at Job 2, which is a fantastic, challenging place. I am finally working under Xena, Warrior Princess (Job 2), who is an ass-kicking marvel!

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
I will try. If I can lower my stress level, I might snap at them less, and that’s related to that General Positive Change Thing.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 06?
For the 2007 Holiday Season, I am seriously thinking about it. I always told myself that once I have done this, that, or the other, I would dress and act more ‘me’…only once I did [whatever], another this, that, or the other would pop up. Once I have called on whatever favours I need to get me through my last three classes and the Quals, I may well go dye my god damned hair black again, start wearing black most of the time, and start wearing freaky nail polish colours again…or something.

16. Will you start or quit drinking?
No. I don’t drink much as it is. With whose time am I supposed to be doing all this fun stuff???

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
I think we’re pretty ok right now.

18. Will you do charity work?
I’m going to be a crappy person and insist that the money I donate to local cat people & things and the time and money I use in taking care of the parking lot cats is going to count as charity work, even though I am overdue in getting them speutered. Last year, I had time off from my old Job 2 over the holidays—this year I did not. So I had no classes, but I was still working over 40 hrs/week.

19. Will you go to bars?
To play NTN, sure. :-) To drink? Who has the time?

20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know?
lol…many times, I am nicer to people I don’t know than people I do know. At least, I cut them more slack, not knowing them.

21. Do you expect 07 to be a good year for you?
I hope that 2007 is a fantastic year for everyone. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now?
Ummm…I cut my hair, and it grew back plus some? Does that count?

23. Do you plan on having a child?
I don’t know, you know? Who knows? When are we talking about exactly—2007? If so, nah.

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
I choose my friends and loyalties very carefully, so I certainly hope so…

25. Major lifestyle changes?
I’m taking things as they come this year. :-) We’ll see what happens.

26. Will you be moving?
That is highly doubtful. I mean like REALLY highly doubtful.

27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 07 that happened in 06?
Ummm…having my bathroom and hall flood? Spending too much personal money on things that I should be submitting receipts for and getting reimbursed? I don’t know—we’ll see what comes up that reminds me of some previous fuck-up, and see if I manage to avoid it.

28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
Well, it’s late and I have to work and meet tomorrow, but I did go out, and it could have sucked worse. :-)

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
I did, though it wasn’t All That. :-) But when I got home, I was showered with kisses from Squooshable and Mr Rhett Butler Kittypants—so I am counting that, instead.

30. One wish for 07?
That everyone I know and love is happy, healthy, and receives the best of everything throughout the year!

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