Cats have a bad name as predators. Most cared-for domesticated cats DON'T kill. Many cats have to kill for food, and others serve a *purpose* by killing (who else can rid your barn of mice without pesticides or messy traps?). Well cared-for cats may live their whole lives without ever killing (I happen to own five, unless you count the lizard or two Squoosh, Rhett, and Cookie may have eaten before I caught them), which is a fact that completely escapes people who hate cats.
And even if cats *were* a problem, should we solve the problem by hunting and killing them, or poisoning them inhumanely? How human-like does that make us? *WE* created the problem. *WE* don't spay/neuter; *WE* abandon house pets when they are no longer 'cute'; *WE* have one senseless litter after another to 'witness the miracle of birth', and all that shit...we do all that. Not the kitties.
And guess what? They are DESIGNED to kill. That's what those claws, teeth, and cute butt-shakes are all about. It's NATURE — not your personal amusement — that is being served. Killing. That's what they are there for. Cope. Getting angry at a cat for killing a bird is like getting angry at a lion for killing a gazelle, or getting angry at a gorilla for ripping the arm off a moron who sticks their hand in the gorilla cage at the zoo—that’s what they *do*. Get over it. And that’s why people who take big cats out of their native habitat and bring them into populated areas are rampaging fucktards—the whole world is not
In a perfect world, I wouldn’t even have to mention any of this.
Cats are amazing animals--you can completely ignore them, and they can fend for themselves (mostly). They can feed themselves, entertain themselves, and even heal themselves (somewhat). Maybe that's why some insecure people are so damned afraid of them--they don't need us. No, not at all, really. We're just gravy...when we're behaving, that is.
In addition to hating people who hate cats, I hate people who conduct BAD SCIENCE. You can ask anyone—I have a tich of rabies towards self-styled ‘scientists’ who engage in something that resembles actual research enough that the average person cannot tell the difference.
And that brings us to This. Make sure that you listen to it—I really want you to figure out why it is Bad Science before I tell you.
Done? Ok. Now let me guarantee that although I try to be nice to everyone, sometimes one must be shocked out of one’s own personal Fantasyland. Rest assured that if I were tasked with the raising up right of some undergrad who tried to sell me on this ‘research’, they’d be walking out of my office with an assignment to write a report (minimum twenty references, single-spaced, thank you very much) on biased sampling, selection bias, ascertainment bias, experimental design, and their roles in the pseudo-intellectual jack off session they had just dragged me into as an unwilling participant.
And they’d probably be doing it with their hands full of shredded protocol.
And I say undergrad ‘cos I really cannot bear the thought of anyone higher up the Food Chain doing such a thing. That might call for defenestration.
Well, in my book. But I digress.
This ‘survey’ is a heaping pile of shit for a ton of reasons, but the easiest one to kvetch about is the god damned bias running rampant throughout the entire thing. Is this a ‘scientific’ study? Oh, fuck no. Is this a study that will get public attention, and may even play a role (albeit irresponsibly) in some type of public policy? Oh, hell yeah. Is this irresponsible as can be?
…don’t even get me started.
Why is it biased? Well, when people are in charge of whether or not they will respond, you aren’t getting an actual random sample. All long and boring explanations aside, in proportion to those who ‘qualify’ to participate, few will in fact participate. This is similar to the reason why companies like rebates as opposed to just giving you your discount at the register—most people just simply won’t fill them out and send them in, so you think you are getting a deal (and really, in your heart, you *do* intend to mail the rebate in), and then the rebate expires, or you decide that it is too much work, or you lose the receipt…and so on. The people who will go out of their way to report an attack are, bluntly, inclined to have an agenda. And that is on top of the people who aren’t aware of the survey in the first place, and/or don’t have Internet access, and so forth.
Oh, I could go on…
In short, what I would urge everyone to do is to go to their stupid website: HorseShit Survey and give them non-biased data. Though that will be hard to do, ‘cos there’s only ‘owl’ or ‘hawk’ for predator birds (and ‘Other’), and there’s absolutely *no* space to report my being dive-bombed by a blue jay or shat upon by a pigeon, ‘cos I guess that’s just ‘cute’ behaviour.
So if you see a cat do something helpful like killing a rat, report it—that looks better for the cats, and god only knows enough bird-loving, A(H5N1)-infested twits will be reporting every sighting *they* encounter, down to Sylvester popping Tweety into his mouth on the Cartoon Channel (‘ummm…yeah—I saw it at 5:15pm, then it was re-run at 11:15pm, and TV Guide says it’s going to be on again this Saturday! That’s THREE sightings!!’).
…not that I think that those kinds of people have an agenda, or anything.
And I will have you know that I was *sorely* tempted to file reports of Snuffalupagus maulings at local urban QuickeeMarts. I’m thisclose to declaring war on these idjits, because if they really did believe there was a problem, and they really *did* care, they would get off their asses and HELP—go feed some stray cats regularly; help get some adopted; help get free spay/neuter clinics up and running. Be a part of the fucking solution. But no—they just want to go hunt kitty cats. I think that with These Types it’s not so much about *solving* a problem as it is about anger, misguided attempts at revenge, and looking for a quick fix—in other words, infantile rage mixed with pure laziness.
But seriously—this shit makes my Immature Self want to start my own website dedicated to creating a public panic about Bird Flu…followed, of course, by a quick ‘survey’ assessing public concern about the issue (once I have educated them as to the threat), and the public’s openness to shooting any and all birds on sight to avoid having Avian Flu run rampant in North America. I’d post invitations to my survey on any parenting website I could find, pointing out the imminent threat to children, who play outside where birds fly at school, in parks, even in their own back yard!
…and who wouldn’t want their children to be safe in their own god damned back yard? I mean, really, now. Ummm…diseased birds, kids; diseased birds, kids…hmmm. Tough choice, there.
And then I would phone the press about *my* ‘study’. Who wants to bet I could win this one?
Sheesh…always take the apple pie issue. Always. Don’t these bird-brains know *anything*?
A bird-free
:-D
.
No comments:
Post a Comment