I am a bad Blogger. No, really. I am a fucking sucky-assed, sorry excuse for a Blogger. It’s sad, rilly. I start and stop trains of thought, go for days without posting, and carry on sidebar conversations via email and IM that make me feel as if I have already said something a thousand times. So I suck, and it’s sad. Pity me.
Butsoanyway.
The phone numbers station ‘mystery’ has been solved. Cool—now I don’t have to think about it. And as interesting as I found it, I don’t have the time to think about it. So there. And I would love to say ‘I told you so’ because I latched on to the part about using A-Ha’s Little Black Heart bridge solely because of its similarity in feel to the music of actual numbers stations, but that post is stuck somewhere in drafts, ‘cos I just haven’t had enough time these past few months to mull anything over unless I am being paid or having brain-dead, non-thinking fun.
…as if I had time to sit around wondering about this stuff, ‘cos when I do, I always do it in my car or something like that, where I cannot do anything about it. But I do feel better; it’s not those god damned KGB crickets from Public Radio, at least.
So, that was fun. Well, to the extent that it provided table conversation for Meg and me. And I agree:
Butsoanyway.
Mehitabel’s been in hiding, probably somewhere in the shade; it’s damn hot. The only times I see her anymore is very early in the morning, or in the early evening, if then. And I don’t know what I am going to do still; Chrissy has vanished on me (I have NO idea what is going on there; she has literally vanished, and I don’t have the time to track her down, especially when all her calls are going unanswered, and her voicemail’s full. If I weren’t certain that I had done nothing to offend her, I’d think she was offended; as it stands, I think she’s going through some weird shit. There’s a story there, but I am too scattered-feeling to wade through it. In sum, I think it is a Personal Issue), Bonnie is busy with family-stuff, and I cannot even find the time to go track down traps on my own—which is not that big of a deal, seeing as I have NO idea when I would be able to put them out and faithfully collect them; I am capable of handling a lot, but I am not capable of managing two jobs, school full-time, and removing entire feral colonies—I just can’t do it. Plus, what tiny patches of free time I have I need, and desperately—I am getting weird again, and I am almost back to having no social life (which is my own fault, but…I keep promising to get to that explanation). And I also don’t believe that Mehitabel is going to walk into a trap.
No, I haven’t given up…I am just regrouping. I do not know what to do, and I do not have enough time to figure it out right now; this happened at a suck-ass time. I am keeping Mehitabel (and all of the cats) fed and watered regularly, and that is about all that I can successfully manage on my own.
Until I think of something, that is. I am training myself off of getting all panicky about it by remembering that if we were to be attacked by robots, or zombies, or something (or robots *and* zombies!), that my Number One Priority would be to save Romeo, Weebie, and Squooshable. And Harry, my Outdoors Cat. And Meg. And Mom. And probably my father. And his wife. And probably my brother, too. And *his* wife. And their children. And Harry. And his pets. And his idiot girlfriend. Though Harry’s pets would definitely have precedence. And so on. Priorities are like that.
I am trying very hard to teach myself not to panic and cry about all of this. It’s happening everywhere—I am just able to *see* this, and so that makes it worse. To me.
Plus, I have to remind myself that there are cats in trouble everywhere, and if I don’t stay focussed on my work, I am going to end up not producing anything, getting fired, and having no degree. Well, other than the ones I already have, but that’s not the point. I’ll also have no way to help these cats, ‘cos I will be working somewhere Monday through Friday, 9 – 5, and not making what I do now. Or I will have to sell my soul back to Eviljob on a full-time basis, get depressed, and plath the bejeezus out of myself. And I won’t be able to do anything more than I am currently doing, to top it all off! I might have more time on the weekends, but I would be unhappy and resentful, and so on. If I went back to Eviljob in a full-time capacity, I would be back to travelling all the time, and not be able to feed them regularly (and apparently couldn’t find anyone else to pay to do it), and if I didn’t go with Eviljob full-time, I would have less money to feed the little guys and less money to donate towards the rescuing of *other* little guys, and etc…
Does it show that I have been working on myself here?
Still working on it.
Butsoanyway.
Saturday was really great, for having been spent at Eviljob. What made it really great was (and here is where I get all stupid and pathetic; put on your protective gear) that I ran into someone accidentally whom I haven’t seen in quite a while (of course, it’s a guy), and became ridiculously happy at first because he was genuinely pleased to see me in this surprised, ‘wow’ kind of way. So much so that it merited a comment from the co-worker I was walking with after he left.
So This Guy was all making with the ‘gol-dern I really miss you’ stuff, and then I shook the rocks out of my head, smiled and et cetera, and went back to my conversation with the female co-worker I was on my way out with. My problem? No guts and no time. Seriously. But…it was still Really Great, because this person is…just great. Seriously. Oh, fuck it—if I were a different person, I would have done him a couple of years ago. And then I saw him again today for a second when I was outside taking a break (and a personal phone call), but I was on the phone with Meg and was saved from talking. Thank god.
Well, what in the hell would I say? We don’t work in the same area any longer (and haven’t for some time; a ton has changed, so there’s no Common Ground to catch up on), we already did the Mutual Admiration Thing for a minute, and ‘so how’s Life treating you?’ only carries one so far in a conversation. And although I haven’t seen him in probably close to a year prior to this, I don’t really have anything intelligent to say.
Well, other than, ‘what’re you doing here on a Saturday?’. That one didn’t occur to me at the time.
Well, I was flustered. I don't think well on my feet, I just *look* like I think well on my feet. In actuality, my mind is mush if you press the right buttons.
Meg is having a blast, I think. Even though she hates LA and will probably go back to Vegas after the 7-card hi-lo tournament (yes, I’ve written ‘hi-lo’. I have given up, ‘cos Meg corrects me in text messages even; I am a minority). Meg really cracked me up today when I phoned her on my lunch break; I was teasing her about having joined MS-13, and she said that she put in applications with MS-13, the Latin Kings, and the Mexican Mafia and will go with whichever one has the best benefits package. I was begging her to just come back home and re-start The Purple Gang—just the two of us—and then she started telling me how the La
About LA, that is.
She is also teasing me that she’s taken Squoosh with her and taught him to play poker, and if I could remember any of her descriptions right now, I would share because they are pretty funny, but I can’t because I am over-tired. But if Squooshable were human and played poker, he would be Scotty Nguyen, Baby!
For what it’s worth, if Romeo were human and played poker, he would be Sammy Farha.
Sigh.
…so why am I up? Because I am NERVOUS. *V*E*R*Y* NERVOUS. I have the first meeting since I was sold into slavery coming up, and I am still waiting to see what’s up with all this.
I will know more later. I hope.
And Autumn is just around the corner…I can feel it! Well, except for all the heat, sun, and rain. But whatever—it is almost the holiday season!
This year’s Holiday Season is scheduled to begin on 14 September. Any modifications to this date will be announced at lest ten minutes in advance, and any future announcements shall supersede this announcement.
Get your holiday gear ready.
.
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