Sad.

I am so very sad. All I can think about is Puff and everything I did wrong. I didn't mean to be so horrible. I didn't mean to ever do anything that hurt her. I feel like every decision that I ever made with her was wrong. She trusted me, and I betrayed her.

My sister apologised. When we left yesterday, she offered to take me shopping to cheer me up. I didn't think I came off as that shallow, but I guess I do. I declined, but dropped my car off at home and just went with her because I didn't feel like being alone. I also didn't feel like being with anyone else, but I figured that if I went with her, I could just zone out and she wouldn't be mean to me about it. When I got into her car, I waited to see what she wanted to talk about, and I guess she was waiting for me. After a few minutes, I broke the silence by trying to be funny, not that I have any business trying right now.

"I guess you were wrong," I said.
"About?"
"She apparently wasn't too stupid to die."
"...I'm sorry I said that."

S'ok. It doesn't matter. And I'd be lying if I said Puff-Puff wasn't a "special needs" kitty. But I loved her. I still love her. I'll *always* love her. I miss her.

I am depressed. I don't feel like moving, thinking, or anything else.

How can everything I did be wrong?