After I had just started to get over the car thing, I received even worse news.
Someone in my family died tonight. No, it's no one I have ever mentioned here.
I am fine, and he has been very sick for a very long time. And I
really don't feel like writing about it right now; I just finished
writing up a load of stuff for tomorrow, so that I can drive to school
in my freaking hoopty-mobile with a clear conscience, 'cos god only
knows MMM waits for no man. Ev-er.
But I am still sad. With a regretful kind of sad. Which, were he
still alive, he would have popped me in the head for feeling. :-)
As per his wishes, there will be no funeral, no memorial service, no
burial...no anything. And no fucking crying like a god damned girl.
Which I will respect. It is his day, after all.
G'night.
2 comments:
Oh, Ancodia. Wish I could hug you right proper. {{{hugs}}}
Samantha, thank you so much! {{{{{{{Samantha}}}}}} We knew he was going to die, it was just a matter of when, and since he'd gone into the hospital in mid-November I was really expecting the news every single day. He couldn't breathe anymore, practically literally; he was career military (completely the "man's man" type), and spent every day since he turned eighteen as a *very* heavy smoker and drinker--and I think he was more than ready to go. He'd been carting around oxygen for the past three years barely able to breathe even with that help, and I know he hated it with all his heart--he was far too independent for that. After he was no longer allowed (or able) to drive almost two years ago, I honestly think the only thing that kept him from killing himself is that he felt that to do so would be cowardly. My family is a strange and stubborn lot like that. So if there is an afterlife, I know in my heart that he's happy as hell to be there, and if there isn't, I know he's happy as hell that it is over. I will miss him, but to not be relieved for him in some small way would be selfish of me.
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