Sunday, October 22, 2006

People stop and stare at me; we just walk on by...

I just hate dreaming sometimes. I mean *really*.

I got off early from Eviljob (and yes, fed the cats even though I didn’t see them), came home, and promptly feel into one of those DEEP sleeps where you wake up completely disoriented and freezing cold in a dark room, wondering who in the hell could be phoning you at this god-forsaken hour, not that you know what hour it is.

So I accomplished little today, but that’s not surprising at all to me, ‘cos I am just completely burnt-out. I really, really am. The only things I accomplished at Eviljob today was readying my vacation and getting into a disagreement with a co-worker who insisted that Ciao is a native, non-appropriated French word.

Just shoot me.

I don’t remember what the commercial(s) were for, but stuff like this reminds me of those commercials a little while ago where one employees explains to his co-workers that they have fringe benefits, not French benefits, and so on. I empathise with that guy; I have given up on trying to get one especially annoying line at work changed from ‘perk’ to ‘perq’; I have also given up on ‘ladie’s’ and ‘ensem’ (as in the fingernails-on-a-blackboard-like request, ‘please be sure you are in an appropriate ensem at the company picnic’).

BWAAH!

And yes, I have *seen* a memo that says that, ‘for all intensive purposes we will be launching X on Y date’. I work with ‘conversating’ people who get ‘flustrated’ over the latest security ‘install’. And I could go on. No really—I could; I am trying to remember a really funny one I read just the other day, but it is escaping me. I was on the phone with a friend watching Flavour of Love when New York said that it would be ‘beneful’ for them to be apart for a while. Yes. Beneful. As in the dog food. I had to translate for the person with whom I was speaking—after all this time at Eviljob, I parse ‘beneful’ without a moment’s hesitation. It means full of benefit.

You know—kind of like the dog food.

Sigh.

Bear in mind that I am only kvetching to take my mind off the fact that today I got nothing done and even lost out on a really good dream. And it is now officially the 22nd, which is always a sucky-assed day in October, anyway.

My apologies to anyone born on this day. Well, except for one person—I don’t apologise to one particular person who fricking made this a sucky-assed day a few years ago.

Butsoanyway.

Speaking of FoL and thinking about sex (now there’s two topics that don’t often converge in my mind), I think that is is tres-way sick that New York didn’t stand up for herself when Flav wouldn’t answer her question about whether or not he was sleeping with Deelishis. Blecch…if you are sleeping with someone, you sure do have the right to know who else they are having sex with! Flav, you’ve disgusted me. That clip (from the Belize episode, where Flav and NY are out on the boat with Gary Busey…Gary Busey *was* there, right? ;-) ) should be shown to every sex ed class on Earth. Girls, leave any man who behaves like that! Stat! That was practically a textbook example of a bum trying to weasel out of answering a legitimate question by blaming the woman, calling her mad, bad, or wrong. And whatever happened to a girl having some class and pride? New York not only took that shit, she went on to sleep with him *again* that night! That girl has the self-respect of a turnip. I could go on, but Ms Grammarian pretty much already said anything I could say a little over a month ago. I was just so, so, SO disgusted and offended as a female by that one part. And I am not saying that New York isn’t crazy as a loon, but I *am* saying that it sets a REALLY BAD EXAMPLE to let some jerk get away with treating a woman (with whom he is having sex) as if her request to know who his other (and previous) sex partners are is a ridiculous request. I do watch FoL for the same reason others watch bad traffic accidents, but…there are impressionable chirrin watching that show who don’t know the difference. I don’t like Flav as much as I used to. Icky. If I were New York’s mother, I would have beaten her senseless(er) after seeing that. And dragged her out for an AIDS test and a flea-dip. Blecch.

Butsoanyway.

Speaking of fleas, as far as kitties go I think my plan now is to just catch the other kittens when they are old enough to be spayed/neutered, make them so, and then put them back. I guess that is all I can do. And I have to get one more whatever vaccination for Rhett and Cookie, and then find them a home. They need to go together, ‘cos Rhett relies on Cookie. Cookie is REALLY smart, and Rhett is, well…he’s a boy. A kind of stoopid boy. A really slovenly, slightly stoopid boy. But he loves me. :-) And I do love him. And please note that Cookie agrees with me that he’s a tich stoopid—he sits in his water dish and then gets up and sits in the (clumping) litter box, fer chrissake. Sometimes, he’ll then go back to sit in the water or food. Cookie and I are simply tired of cleaning him up. It’s kind of funny—it really is like Cookie got the manual on how to be a cat, and Rhett was watching football when it was handed out, or something. Back when I had them in a cage, Rhett knocked over (again!) the water dish, and he was just sitting in it until he noticed that Cookie had jumped into the litter box and was dry. So then he went into the litter box, only it was too late—he was soaked. So I opened the cage to pull them out, dry them off and fix the flood, and Cookie leapt out of the litter box (over all the water) and came over to me, purring. Rhett saw her do this, and tried to copy her—he jumped out of the litter box *into* the water (he’s much porkier than Cookie), and then ran into my lap, coating me in clumping litter and kitty water. GAH! He was dripping all over Cookie and me, and she just looked up at me as if she were saying, ‘he’s SO STOOPID!!’ Cookie’s just given up and adapted to Rhett—he eats all her food and monopolises their toys. No really—I have to let her eat by herself sometimes to make sure she gets enough to eat! I don’t know what Rhett thinks he is accomplishing by starving her, though…who would clean him if she were gone?

I like to classify my cats as humans (and vice versa sometimes!), and if Rhett were human, he would be a lot like Sandy Lyle in Along Came Polly. It was really funny to watch Rhett try to imitate Cookie and walk across the roof of the cage—Cookie managed it with agility, leaping up to the top shelf and zipping across the roof; Rhett lumbered up and fell down about twenty times before he finally made it, but that’s ‘cos he’s close to twice the size of Cookie (or maybe more) avoirdupois-wise. That’s a lot to hang upside-down.

But he is cute—he has very fine, thin, super-short fur that I swear to god feels almost like *skin*, and when I came home today, he fell asleep on me at some point in my nap. He will be a good companion to someone, just as soon as he quits using his claws so much. And he purrs whenever he sees me (Cookie does, too). And he thinks I am his mom.

Okay, I need to quit talking about cats and get to sleep. I didn’t take the day after Halloween off, and I (again) opted to stay home instead of going anywhere (I am getting *so* old-and-boring), so I don’t know how this Halloween will go. I looked back in my archives, and realised that I never posted last year’s Halloween post (I may try to find it and put it up later)—Mom came over because she enjoys annoying me, I spent most of the night trying to keep a Halloween bow on Squooshable, and Mom actually told a gaggle of kids on my front lawn to throw candy at me ‘cos I fussed at her about something, AND THEY DID! And I still haven’t posted anything about The Haunted Shed, so before they get it up and running this year (yes, I am going to visit again if they do), I had better describe it quickly in case I need to refer to it again. Here goes:

Kids build a haunted attraction in a shed, which they call a haunted house. Put up signs—COME TO THE HAUNTED HOUSE! $1.00! Meg and I are driving by and see it, so we stop. I am nice, so I pay a dollar each for Meg and myself to go in, but we have to go in one at a time, ‘cos it’s a small shed. Meg goes in and is all tight-lippedly ‘okay, nice job, kids; that was great—let’s go’. I felt kind of bad because if I were a kid, I would be hoping that my haunted shed would be a good one, so when it was my turn to go in, I decided to pretend to be scared. So I go in, and they have a strobe light, some cobwebs and stuff, and two boys who jump out—one at the beginning, when you first come in, and one at the other side of the shed, right before you leave through the door at the other end of the shed. I said ‘eek!’ to the first one, and then decided that was kind of lame of me. I could see the other boy ready to pounce, so I got ready, figuring I’d be making his day; when he jumped out at me, I let out a huge scream, and yelled, ‘A GHOST!’. So then I open the exit door and the kids outside came running over, asking me if I was okay. Meg asked me what in the hell was wrong with me. I kicked her, and told the kids it was a really cool, scary haunted shed, errr, house. The two boys in the shed came out and took off their masks to show me that it wasn’t real, and another girl asked if I wanted her to go get her mom or the police. At this point Meg rolled her eyes, threw up her hands, and walked back to her car. I tried telling the kids that I was really okay, but they wanted me to sit down and catch my breath (???). Finally, Meg rolls down her window, and yells, ‘LET’S GO!’. As I walked away, one of the girls asked if I was going to sue them. I assured her that I wouldn’t, that I thought it was a really cool haunted shed they have there. I got in the car, and as we are driving away Meg tells me that I am the biggest moron ever. I tell her I was just trying to give the kids an ego-boost, ‘cos it really was kind of a crappy haunted shed. I mean, I totally saw the first boy jump out at Meg before she closed the door, and I also saw the second kid *way* before I was near him ‘cos he kept peeking out from behind a box or whatever it was. Meg asked if I wanted her to go back and drop me off there so that I could help them improve it. I tell her no, that I have my own shed, and I might just steal their idea and make it my own; I think there’s a market for haunted sheds. Meg tells me that I am an idiot. I tell her she’ll change her tune once I have built my Haunted Shed empire and she needs poker money. Meg responds that the one girl seemed to possess a particularly litigiously-oriented nature, and Meg felt that stealing their idea would be ill-advised. We go on to wherever it was we were headed, and on the way back see that the Haunted Shed has quite a few patrons in line. I think this is really cool—I like seeing industrious kids happy. Meg couldn’t care less if I paid her to.

And that is the saga of The Haunted Shed.

In Unrelated News, I just found this out—did everyone else already know this?

Alfred Kahn, an economic advisor to Jimmy Carter, upset the president and his cabinet by stating that the country's huge inflation could lead to a recession, or even "deep, deep depression." He was chastised for this assessment and told that words like "recession" have a very negative connotation and poor political implications. Unfazed, Kahn told the cabinet that he would use the word banana instead, as in "Between 1973 and 1975 we had the deepest banana that we had in 35 years." However, after banana companies started to complain he changed the word to kumquat.

(From Everything2.com)

That is very, very funny.

Okay, now I really, truly have to go to sleep; I have to pick up that dream where I left off!

Hugs.

.

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