Five tons of flax…and a couple troll pencil toppers

Fudashi.  No, rilly.  Totally Fu it.  I’m gonna go be a fucking shepherd.

I cannot believe that I am done.  Oh, lord.  And I am having a KateFest.  KateFests rock.  I love you, Kate…errr…Hazel.  Whatever.  I am so pouncingly full of…energy or something.  Spare time, maybe.  Or sleep.  I actually went out Friday night (despite rumours that I’ll stay cloistered until graduation) and was gone all today, but…eh.  I’m still all wired, so I went looking for something novel to watch and ended up breaking out my Breaking Glass dvd, and it is amazing what an unsung masterpiece the whole thing is.  Well, okay…not unsung really.  Well…it has been hummed a bit.  There.

Butsoanyway.

On Wednesday, here’s what happened:

Ok…wait.  Let’s back up to Tuesday.  Or before that, really.  Firstliest, this Someone whom I’ve mentioned before got gainful employment for all of us; this is the class that was all seminar and endless teleconferences.  Yeah…Someone rocks like that.  Only the catch was that we don’t get paid for it; it’s ‘sperience.  And on the whole, I am okay with that, even though my Person thinks that it is a deplorable practice, and Fluffer (who took this class also) vehemently denies that it is occurring because, well…Fluffer is trying to suck up to Someone.  Big Time.  But that’s a whole ‘nother story; let me get on with this one.  

So we had stuff assigned, and a large thing at the end; our group raced to get everything done, and generally made it.  Then Orker plagiarised, and his further services were Deemed Unnecessary.  Then we all got our final assignment-things, and set off to work on them; these final things were somewhat tailored to each group’s experiences, if not expertise.  Our group got something for a company that does something that I know a fair amount about, so we voted me to be in charge of coming up with Things.  As a parallel, let’s say that the Gimli Glider Company wants to start intercontinental air travel; I personally know nothing about intercontinental air travel, and I don’t have the time to go learn about intercontinental air travel, but I know a goodly amount about Gimli Gliders. So, while Rest of Group (RoG) is putting together everything else, I slap together a little training exercise in how to properly measure fuel along with a tiny change in instrumentation (let’s say an analogue fuel gauge), show some people, get their opinions, and do my part.  We sent it off to Someone last Friday for pre-approval because, after all, this is a deliverable, and we have to present it via teleconference on Wednesday.

On Tuesday at 4 p.m., I get a call as I am trying to get something accomplished for MMM for once; Someone wants my part changed.  Training in any form isn’t really a revolutionary idea, suggests Someone; we need to contribute a solution that incorporates an actual design prototype.  First off, I reply, training apparently is a revolutionary idea for some companies, and the Gimli Glider Company is kind of a case in point in that respect.  Second, I am not a fucking designer.  Third, it’s less than twenty-four hours until we have to do this thing…there is no time to change anything.  And fourthly, I just checked again and I am still not a designer.  Then Someone suggested a design solution, and I told Someone the idea sucked; it was wholly unrealistic based upon my personal experience in the industry, not even bringing up the issue of common sense.  

Our conversation went something like this:

For the Gimli Glider presentation, we want to propose that it should have six wings!
Ummm...that's pretty close to the god-damned stupidest idea I have ever heard.
Well, I know a little bit about Gimli Gliders, and...
I know more. 
Test it.
No.
I'm not kidding.
I will consult my subject matter expert, how's that?
That's bett...
Please hold.

('Codia la-la's The Girl From Ipanema)

Thank you for holding.  My SME says that that's pretty close to the god-damned stupidest idea I...errr...SHE has ever heard.
It gets included, and it gets included as the primary design proposal!
Please hold.

('Codia la-la's more Girl From Ipanema)

My SME says that it's still really stupid.
INCLUDE IT!
Fine.  But there's not going to be any testing; it's too late, and I have scads of other things to do.
You need to present something with testing!
Then I need to present something that has been tested.  There are two other major ideas here which we *have* tested, and you're saying to scrap them over something you just thought up.  There's not going to be a compromise here; I cannot spend the entirety of my time on this.  There's a line to be drawn somewhere, and I have just drawn it.  There is less than 24 hours left; major changes could have been made before--not now. 
(Someone is quiet)
Yes?
That change is to be presented.  Did you hear me?
Absolutely.  And in that case, it will be presented as a rough idea with no testing, which is what it is.  Or you can present it.
(icily) Fine.  It's your presentation.  Do what you want.
We will.  Thank you.

And as I sat there, I got more irritated.  If you really want to make me mad as hell, let me submit something to you—then don’t read it.  Let me think that everything is fine up until the eleventh hour, and then get around to skimming over it, and phone me in hysterics because you don’t like what I have done (bonus points for not even understanding what I have written), and issue the ultimatum that EVERYTHING must be changed—kind of similar to what My Person pulled last year with my Magnificent Octopus.  Do that, and you will have succeeded in *REALLY* pissing me off.  Congratulations; that’s actually hard to do.  

So I did what any irritated hormonal bitch would do, and I phoned and emailed the rest of my group and told them that Someone had made changes.  Then I trashed my contribution and put in Someone’s stupidass idea, sent it off, and went back to work on MMM’s stuff.  I am not saying that my ideas were earth-shaking, but they were at least *realistic*.  

The next morning—the morning of this teleconference/presentation—Someone emails our group to tell us to include our testing information…why is there no testing information?!?

Uhhh…duh.  We’ve had this conversation; you were wrong, but you pulled rank, and I conceded.  In my own way.

By this point, the rest of our group was over it, and Orker didn’t get a vote; this has been nothing but work all semester, and if Someone wanted to be a shit, then Someone should have made this one presentation weighted more heavily in our grades.  On Tuesday, the unanimous vote in our group was ‘fine, but you’re presenting it’.  Fine; I have presented total shit before, and this probably won’t be the last time.  So I presented; it could have sucked worse, but it wasn’t what They wanted or expected and I knew that going in, but Someone was *pissed*.  But by that point, none of us really cared.  But Someone got all huffy, and I was triply irritated enough that I needed to vent to somebody, so I got a coffee and wandered over to my Person.  

My Person was actually pretty cool about it—agreed with me, made it clear that the ‘problem’ wasn’t me, the whole nine yards; I already wrote about that.  My Person said that my grade wouldn’t suffer (which, after witnessing the tantrum, I was doubting), because Person’d seen similar things happen before where Someone lost their crackers and ‘made up for it’ (read:  bought silence) by giving high grades.  So then on Thursday, our team got an email from Someone, giving us almost full credit on our presentation.  Go figure.  

I have not done a whole lot today, and I do not plan on doing a whole lot today.  My Squoosh has noticed that I am not so busy, and he’s being a little purring monkey, trying to get some attention.  :-)  Of course, I am giving it to him; if he spoke English, you would be able to hear him shouting, ‘Look at me!  Look at me!’ as he pulls his little monkey-stunts…he’s such an attention pig.  

One thing I am going to do is wander over to Eviljob and feed Mehitabel & Co.; I may try to grab a kitten or two…we’ll see.  She’s certainly keeping them (and herself) hidden when I am around and as someone pointed out, it’s because in her mind I am this enormous velociraptor that probably eats babies.  

-=Meanwhile, back in India=-

Okay, so it’s later.  I am freshly back from trying to snag a Mehitabel.  The good news is that I netted her.  The bad news is that she fricking escaped!  She broke a hole right through the net!!!!!  

See ‘Codia lose.  Lose, ‘Codia, lose!  ‘Lose, lose!’ said Baby Judy, ‘Lose, lose, lose!’

Butsoanyway.

In really good news, I saw Mr Cat—the SquooshDaddy.  :-)  So he didn’t get hit.  I was so happy to see him that I gave him tuna.  

And, on that note…  I’m ending it.  

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