Urban Spelunking

It just goes to show you that it's always something; if it's not one thing, it's another. If you're not running your butt off to have Something for a morning meeting, then some drunk 'tard having a middle-age crisis wraps his Lexus around a power thingy and you're left being an Ancodia what is sitting in the dark.

No, really--I'm in the dark. Thank goodness I'd charged up the laptop. They hope to Jaws-of-Life what's left of him out of the car and restore power to 3/4 of my subdivision in a few hours. Ok, I'm exaggerating about the Jaws of Life; I actually have no idea what state the driver's in, and I only know it's a Lexus because Meg called about twenty minutes after the power went out and told me she saw it. I assume she meant on the news unless she was driving home late, but I'd taken a break from work and was in the middle of cleaning Squoosh's bathroom, dosing him, and feeding him (and 'tis my nature to do all of these at once, so they were all in varying stages of undoneness) when the power went off, leaving Squoosh and me in total darkness.

SFDPH. Fill in your favourite curse words here.

So I feel my way around and try to put as much back as possible, set his water and food down, litter box back...all by feel. I'm good, I tell you. And I didn't even once bash myself into all the shelving and crap Mom put in when she remodelled it for me (*not* at my request) last year. Miracle! I was figuring out how to negotiate leaving, yet not letting Squoosh out (black kittens are hard to find in the dark) when my cell rang. I knew it was family by the ring.

SFDPH!

So I grab Squoosh, take him out with me, and work my way over to the kitchen bar counter, where I'd left my cell (at least I had that light to guide me!) and it's Meg. Did I know the power is off in my sub-d? No! Really? It is? Yes, she says; three-quarters of the place is without power! Oh, do tell! She tells me about the car, and asks am I sure I have power? No, dingbat; I *don't* have power. Why would you call me when I don't have power to tell me that I don't have power? Meg says to not get snippy. I tell her that I need to put Squoosh up, and will have to call her back, and she says to only call if it's an emergency, 'cos she's going to bed.

Figures. So I use the light from the cell phone to sorta see my way to a candle, and I get Squoosh put back up.

And so I have candles on. And I so very want a fire pit for my patio. This would be a great fire pit occasion. I'm buying one. And maybe a chimnea, too. I think that I need both.

Speaking of shopping...

I do love shopping. And I'm a *good* shopper; I do the comparison shopping thing, and I've too much Jew in me to not haggle whenever possible (and when appropriate). And I love shopping malls. I've been to *scads* of malls all over; everywhere I've travelled, I hit at least one mall. Minimum. It's the atmosphere that I love. First, mall air really does have healing properties. I think that they pump something into the air that's full of antidepressants, antibiotics, and everything--so that you feel good and shop longer.

Scoff if you want. My theory makes sense.

But what's coolest about them is the whole gestalt experience each mall has. They're all different, they all have unique architecture, furnishings, layout, and personalities. I'd argue with anyone who considers it "generica" that they say that because they don't know what they are looking at or for; these places all may be similar, but they are all different. And all of that comes from a number of things--the area in which the mall is located, the year it was built, the changes over time that have been made... All of these things and more give the place a personality--a life, almost.

I've stood in the middle of a mall and really, honestly felt this. Again, scoff if you want. I'm not saying it's literally alive, but...well, close to it. Alive in the way that a building can be alive and have a personality. And the Very Cool Thing about all of this is that we don't keep the same malls forever. Mall fads come and go, stores merge, close, and go bankrupt, peopleclusters change, all of that. And malls die. No, really.

If you've not ever seen one, it's an amazing thing. I've been in numerous malls that are in a terminal stage--second or third class malls where every storefront is boarded or papered up except for maybe one primary store, or a few mom-n-pop stores that would have never been in there under any other conditions. It's awesome. And that word gets misused a lot, but I mean it--it's awesome.

I'd always thought of it as Urban Spelunking because, well, what in the hell *should* it be called? Consumer and economic disaster trend analysis? I like Urban Spelunking better. It's like a perverted archaeological dig in a way, looking at What Went Wrong. And it's very cool when you can get some background--any background. The last time I was in Nashville, I spent almost an hour talking to a (as in the only) hair salon employee at Dillard's in the Bellevue mall to find out the whole story. And of course I went to Opry Mills too. But I wanted to see the coughing-ominously-and-limping-somewhat mall. :-)

So I'm a freak. Well, I found out a few years ago that I have company for once. I stumbled across Dead Malls, and now I have a whole *list* of places that I want to visit. This will at least make this upcoming trip a little more palatable, 'cos there's two dead malls reasonably close by, and more within a little drive.

And I've been waiting to go near Harvey, IL to visit the Dixie Square Mall for literally ages. I want to rent a car and drive through it like The Blues Brothers did. Although I think it might be better if I stole a car and did it. Well, there are a few benefits there. First off, although Jake and Elwood drove their own car, I firmly believe that if they'd been given the opportunity, they would have stolen one to drive through the mall. And second, I'd not be as traceable that way, and then there's the added benefit of not having to pay the rental car company for damages.

I've worked all of this out, I tell you. :-)

And there's a *very* cool write-up of a visit to Dixie Square at deadmalls.com, and from this we've learnt that it is important to (1) avoid the police; (2) bring a mask for the mold smell; (3) bring doggie treats and/or mace. And probably a laser zappy gun, if you have one.

I still want one of those...

And dixiesquare.com has the most incredible pictures--a DS Musicland that closed in (I think they said) 1973! And a Jewel that I don't remember when it closed. And they're making a documentary about it. This is so cool! I am so completely prepared to own that documentary! Hurry up! Finish! Sell it! Sell it!!

And I'd also like to visit the Wonderland Mall in Livonia before it gets smooshed into the ground. I was there only when it was a real, working mall. It was closed in 2003. And I never would have known it were it not for deadmalls.com, but the Wonderland Mall website is still up from 2000! Now how cool is that? Five years. Who'd have thunked it?

And yes, I do like "normal" malls. I'd *live* in West Ed or MoA if I could. And actually, I can. Or will be able to. I've heard that MoA is going to build condos. When they do, I am *so* there, even if it's like, a vacation home. :-) And they have Camp Snoopy. Yay! I want to go back and complete my Camp Snoopy smooshed penny collection!

Ok...I'm getting way too excited. :-) Time for bed. Hopefully, I'll wake up and have power again.