Ancodia's Inbox

Today's mail brings us:


CATS AND COOKIE MAKING

Baking Cookies (with your cat)

1. Look in cookbook for cookie recipe.
2. Get cup of coffee.
3. Get cat off of cookbook.
4. Find that special recipe.
5. Get cat's nose out of coffee mug.
6. Go to fridge and get eggs.
7. Get dry ingredients from cupboard.
8. Break eggs in small bowl.
9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl.
10. Answer the phone.
11. Cat ate eggs; get more from fridge.
12. Get cat out of flour bowl and dust cat off.
13. Get Band-Aids for scratches on hands.
14. Throw flour out and get more.
15. Preheat oven for cookies.
16. Looking at cat & wanting to bake cat now. Cat runs for cover into bathroom.
17. Flour the counter to roll out cookie dough.
18. Big crash in bathroom; run to see what happened.
19. Cat has TP all over floor; stuff spilled and knocked over on top of bathroom counter.
20. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl.
21. Can sense cat is angry.
22. Take cat out of toilet to dry cat off.
23. Get bandages to cover more scratches on arms and legs.
24. Clean up bathroom.
25. Hear a thump in kitchen ... Oh Golly ... now what?
26. Get cat off floured counter in kitchen.
27. Try to pick out cat hairs from flour.
28. Step on cat's tail and get bitten.
29. Get coat, car keys, and go to store to buy cookies!!!

And then...


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee (Hardly seems worth it).

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb (Now that's more like it!).

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet (OMG!).

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes (In my next life, I want to be a pig.).

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I'm still not over the pig.).

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work).

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!).

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field (30 minutes...lucky pig! Can you imagine?).

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?).

Some lions mate over 50 times a day (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity).

Butterflies taste with their feet (Something I always wanted to know).

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue (Hmmmmmm...)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?).

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump (Okay, so that would be a good thing).

A cat's urine glows under a black light (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?).

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain (I know some people like that).

Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that, too).

Polar bears are left-handed (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer; let's quit funding cat pee studies and use those funds to promote right-handedness in bears).

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure (What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone ! And God love that pig!

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Okay, I usually don't forward things, but...those *were* funny. :-)

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