Hollywood is a factory. You have to realize that you are working in a factory and you're part of the mechanism. If you break down, you'll be replaced.

"After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the LA County Sheriffs. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person. I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said. Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry. I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health."

TRANSLATION:

Wow…if I hadn’t been so fucking drunk, I would have realised that those comments were going to come back to haunt me, and I would have kept my mouth shut about how I really feel.  You know—like I usually do when I am sober.  But, all that aside, I sure am sorry.  Really, really sorry.  No really, Sugar Tits—I’m awful sorry.  Please come see my movies, because I need more money to be able to continue to demonise and slander those Christ-killing Jews.  And I know that they are Christ-killing Jews not as the fruits of any actual research or intellectual pursuits of any kind; I know this the old-fashioned way:  My father told me they were.

Well that, and the fact that I am far too ignorant to be able to do anything but blindly accept what Authority tells me is Truth; in this case, Authority would happen to be my dad, and a 2,000-year old book that was written anonymously about events that had occurred generations before.  

So please support me as I try to appear to be penitent in the upcoming months, so that when I do something REALLY psychotic, no one will see it coming—you know, like founding my own religion because Catholicism just isn’t firm enough on some issues and moving to a small town in South America with a cadre of followers, a bag of strychnine, and a vat of Kool-Aid.  And making all my female followers change their name to ‘Sugar Tits’.  

I have already taken steps to appear to be Deeply Remorseful in that I have enrolled in rehab for my alcohol addiction because I want to act as if it is wrong to be addicted to alcohol.  I would be eternally grateful if you, the American Movie-Going Public would see fit to ignore the fact that I feel my alcohol abuse to be a personality defect in need of more desperate attention than my other personality defects, such as sexist behaviour and Jew-hating, which dad and I view as harmless hobbies.

I solemnly vow from this point forward to not allow any brainwashing that has occurred in my affiliation with my father to outwardly manifest itself in any clearly observable way, as I feel that hatred is truly Christian only when it is hidden from public view.

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