And Then There Were Two

So I left Eviljob at about one-ish, and set my trap.  In my dreams, I was going to return in a bit and find both the grey tuxedo and Momcat in there.  I figured that was all that was left, since I had not seen the second black tuxedo kitten in about a week or more.  

So I left, made a bunch of copies that I have been putting off for weeks, and was trying to figure out what else I needed to do when Mom phones; she needed to be driven back up to the dealership to pick up that POS krautmobile she calls a car, because she is fighting with them again; she wanted them to do something additional to the damn thing (but, knowing Mommy, she did not bother to tell them this), so with the exception of putting on a new fuel pump or whatever, they did exactly nothing.  I tried to tell her it is because they are German and are inclined to do only exactly what they are told, but she said that I am being racist.  

Hmmph.  Yeah.  Right.  

Okay…maybe.

Butsoanyway.

So I drove All The Way The Hell Over There, picked her up, and took her to There.  As I pulled in, she told me that she wanted me to wait to make sure her car was ready.  What, I asked—they haven’t called you, or you did not call them to ask if your car was ready?  No.  She had not.  She called this morning and got angry with them and so just wanted to go over there and wait and be grumpy.  And she figures that she has given them enough time.

Sigh.

So no, it was not ready, and so I finally convinced her to leave with me.  I took her to lunch, and then to renew her licence, and then I asked her if we could drive all the hell the way back across town to check my trap.  She agreed, as long as I stopped to get some hot tea for her.  So I did.  A great big one, in the hopes that it would keep her busy.  

When I drove down the parking aisle where I had put my trap (my ingenious nature had cleverly hidden it in a bush, disguised as a cat trap), I saw that I *had* caught Someone!  For half a second, I thought it was the Momcat, and then I realised that it was the second black tuxedo cat that I had thought was missing!  And the grey tuxedo kitten and Momcat were sitting nearby, watching.  Which was sad.  

Momcat followed me all the way to my car.  She would not get close to me, but she followed.  That was sad, too.  So I left with mom and the cat in the car, taking it up to Son-Friend’s to be with its sibling.  Son-Friend’s Dr Vet asked Son-Friend to check the first cat over the phone (look at its gums and everything), and said the cat sounded ok to wait one more day, because he was booked solid today.  So the two of them will go tomorrow.  

Butsoanyway.

As I am driving back up there, the cat is howling its little heart out, and Mom is just calmly drinking her tea, like nothing is happening.  Sigh.  Finally, she turned to me and said that I should name the cat ‘Tenor’.  Why ‘Tenor’, I asked.  Because he sings about ten or twelve notes off, she answered.

Mummers, the sit-down-and-drink-tea comedienne.  

I had agreed to meet Son-Friend at the PetsMart by his apartment so that I could buy food and stuff for the kitties; I arrived there early, and so I decided to try to hold the kitten and calm it down (I had to take it out of the trap to transfer it to Son-Friend’s carrier, anyway).  As soon as I opened the trap and reached in, it went psychoapeshit, probably because Momcat had been sitting with it for so long, telling it that it was about to be flayed alive, or something.  It bit me twice, once on each hand, and I could not grab it.  It dashed towards the front seat (I had kept the doors and windows closed, thank goodness), then realised that humans were up there, and ran for the back, then realised I was reaching in the back, and it ran to the front again, and then back to the back—all in this big circle as I tried to catch it, kind of like those toy cars that do loop-the-loops on a track.  It was running mostly sideways, on glass—the glass of the rear dash, driver’s side, front dash, passenger side, back to the back dash…and repeat.  Again and again.  And again.  And again.  Sort of like The Matrix, re-enacted in thirty seconds, by kitties.  And as all of this was going on, Mom sat facing forward in the passenger seat, occasionally stirring to take a swig from her Styrofoam cup.

“Mom!” I yelled to her as the cat zipped past her on the passenger-side window ledge for the fifth time, “Could you help me here?  Please?”  
Mom looked at me as if I had asked her to solve Fermat’s Last Theorem.  
“What do you want me to do,” she asked as Cat and I swirled around the cabin.
“Catch it!  Stop it!  Scruff it!  Help!”
“No.”
“MOM!!!”
“I am holding my tea in my left hand, and I cannot be stuck on my right arm!  No!”

Grr.  With her lumpectomy/lymphectomy, Mom is not supposed to have blood drawn or blood pressure taken on her right…nothing about a minor, teensy cat scratch…NOTHING.  Or two.  Or three.  Probably bites would be out…  

Oh, screw it.

I tried to anticipate where the cat was going to run next, and after a few unsuccessful tries, finally got it right.  I got it scruffed, and held it gently-but-close, and he calmed right down.  Sort-of.

Finally Son-Friend got there, I transferred Mr Cat to his carrier, and went in to buy food and try as best I could to wash out my hands and make them bleed.  Ouchy.

And so, to abruptly truncate an already unbearably long story, now I am here.  And I bought cocoa on the way home.  With marshmallows.  Lots and lots of marshmallows.  

:-D

And then I got to have a really nice conversation with someone normal, which is always welcome, and when one adds to that the fact that I also got to go shopping with Nurse Betty on Monday (and picked up more Woody Sandalwood at the Body Shop!), and…well…I am happy.  Now, I just *know* that means that something absoutively horrid is lurking around the corner for me, but for now I am happy.  

So NYAH, you absoutively horrid thing, wherever you are.  

:-)