But I'm always sensitive to you-uuuuuu!

Regarding the recipe post, I should mention that I suck at translating most everything these days also, and my conversational skills have gone to pot.  So I am not picking on Meg, or anything.  I am only saying that I at one time was more competent than I currently am, whereas Meg never did learn it, so I know it came from elsewhere.  That is all I meant, and I meant none of it badly.

Butsoanyway.

So I forgot to call my doctor on Monday.  Argh.  I’ll get around to it.  But I did call Ford, and kvetched for an hour and a half.  It was all for nothing, but it certainly made me feel better.  

And I was pleasantly surprised today…and confused.  My brother called me this afternoon, excited.  Well, excited for him; it is hard to explain.  He has been accepted into a certain competitive program for a specialised field of study, which isn’t the one he has been gearing himself up for for the past two years.  Huh?  Why?  What?  Huh?  Okay, so maybe I *am* stupid, because I just don’t get it.  He says, first of all, that he didn’t change anything; he had applied to both, and intended to apply to both the whole time.  Not that he ever told me, or anyone else, but ok.  He said that one he has a genuine love for and interest in (that much I knew), and the other he will make more money doing.  The more money one just answered him first, and so he is taking it, because he said that he realised when he got his acceptance that he didn’t really want the other one over this one, even if they accept him later.  I don’t get it.  His research and everything has been split enough, I guess…I still just don’t get it.  But he says to me, ‘cos he knows I will get some consolation in this, that there is less likelihood of him going anywhere dangerous now, and if he still were, it would only be for three to six months, so he could not take a long-term (administrative, which is why he was doing it in the first place) position anywhere.

I am now more confused than ever.

I told him as much, and he said to just congratulate him and shut up, so I did.  

Whatever.

Does this mean that my brother really is a shallow enough doof that he would really pick money over something he loves?  Or does this mean that he didn’t *want* to go to Iraq in the first place, but thought that he would have no choice, career-wise?  Or has my sister-in-law been working on him?  I don’t know what to think, and he won’t ever answer any of my questions.  He is like my father (and grandfather) in that respect; you never know what to say or support, or whatever, ‘cos you never know where they are coming from.  The moment you think you understand them is the moment that they go and do the exact opposite.  

So I guess that this is good?  

This—what is happening now—is what I would have expected from him originally.  Or at least I thought so before.  Then he up and did all the pestilence and plague stuff, and I restructured my conceptualisation of who he is and where he is going…and now this.  I am just confused.  Very confused.  At times like this, I do not feel as if I know him at all, even though this is what I would have predicted for him before a few years ago.  Go figure.

I need a mood-thingy for this blog.  Blogger doesn’t have them, and I have never needed it before, but I need it now.

Mood:  Confuzzled as all hell.